A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi, okay I feel really embarrased but I really want some answers about this. I am 18 and I have been masturbating since I was 11. Over the years I have tried to stop and come to realize that I really only do it when I feel stressed, but it ends up continuing for months at a time, then I would stop for a while again. Then the cycle repeats itself. I come from a very catholic family, and while I have realized that it isn't wrong to masturbate, I don't like how often I do it and to what. I've started reading and watching very messed up stories and I feel really bad and depressed and upset about it, but I can't seem to make myself to stop. I have been doing this more and more often. I feel like its taking up my life. I have never had a boyfriend or had sex, and I want to save myself for my husband. Is there anyway I can tone this down? I've thought about seeing a therapist about it, but i can't afford it. Even just hearing that I'm not the only one like this will help.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2012): Hello there! From another catholic girl your age, you aren't doing anything wrong, I do the same as you, some time I go without it and do not notice, but I love it. I have always watched hardcore porn though, and if by messed up stories you mean bdsm or insest/rape fantasies, well everybody has either or all. As long as it is done between two consenting adults, you should not worry.Actually I discovered I was a female submissive, and I was in love with the lifestyle. I think you should worry if porn and masturbating interferes with basic areas of your life. For example: you do not go to school to stay and masturbate, or you need to masturbate at school or work because you can't take it. You know? If it turns maniac then it may be an issue.Otherwise, if it is on your free time and you are still performing well on all areas of life I would not worry. I think your urge will disappear when you have a partner, because you will be satiated ;D so relax! :D
A
female
reader, Stayc63088 +, writes (28 August 2012):
 What do you mean by messed up stories? I started masturbating when I was around 10. I used to watch soft core porn every night. As I got older I would watch porn online and could masturbate up to 3 times a day. Sometimes I would pause the porn after finishing, watch tv for an hour, then resume porn and masturbation. I never wondered if it was weird but I definitely did it a lot so you aren't a freak. When I got into my current relationship porn stopped altogether. Not because I was told to, but I never felt the urge or need for it. It has been over 2 years since I have last masturbated. Do you feel depressed by it because of frequency or what you are watching to get off? There is nothing wrong with masturbation and no reason to feel guilty about it. You aren't hurting anyone and everyone has their own thoughts on what is normal for masturbation.
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A
male
reader, unknown2u +, writes (28 August 2012):
I can’t answer from a female perspective, but a lot of what you say sounds familiar from when I was a teen. While our household wasn’t religious, sex nevertheless was taboo, so I assumed that masturbation was somehow sinful. I felt that I shouldn’t do it, and felt guilty afterward. And yes, I was occasionally disturbed by the ideas that went through my head as fantasies, or the occasional bit of ‘literature’ I could find to help.
With the perspective to time, I’ve become an increasing proponent of masturbation. Our bodies mature, we experience a relentless rush of hormones, long before our society supports us marrying. I don’t believe nature really built us to be wholly abstinent until we were 25 or whatever. So for someone who doesn’t want to rush into something, for someone who wants to wait until they’ve met ‘the one’ (which I applaud), you really need an outlet. The hormones for many people are just too demanding.
So I would suggest to you that masturbation is your friend. It helps keep your drive in check so that you don’t make poor, hormone-driven decisions. As for what you’re reading, there’s a huge disconnect between what works for us in our heads and what we’d have the remotest desire for in a real situation. As far as I know most people are like that. And unlike Vegas, what happens in our heads really does stay in our heads along as the mouth stays shut. It’s not a reflection on your character, and not necessarily an indication of some awful anti-social desire.
You sound perfectly normal to me. Relax – no one finds it easy to cope with this stuff.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2012): You sound very normal to me. Nothing you suggested was happening sounded abnormal to me at all.
When I am between relationships then my criteria that I need a new relationship is when I masturbate more than 8 times a day. That's the cue for me to know I am super horny and might be better if I had a real guy not a make beleive in my head guy.
Once you are able to enjoy a real guy it is like comparing a glass of skim milk with a bowl of the richest iceceamc you could imagine, and you will spot the difference immediately. Real is much better
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A
female
reader, Anne may Louis  +, writes (28 August 2012):
There are many people who might be in the same situation as you so your not alone the thing is they just don't have the guts to write it up as you have, don't worry your hormones are acting up don't go out and do anything wrong or stupid with people save yourself for the person you want Hun ;) xx
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