A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi aunts and uncles! Thank you in advance for all the help. I'm 19 years old and i'm in a very serious relationship with a guy 6 years my senior. We've been together for just over a year now. My problem is i'm afraid of letting him go own on me during sex and i've never given him oral. The last time he tried to give me oral i panicked and stopped him, he laughed, hugged me and then calmed me down. He is the most gorgeous man i've ever been with and he is much more experienced than me. I know i badly want to give him oral and for him to do the same for me but i just don't know how. Also i have really long inner labia, i don't know if this could be the reason for my inability to just go for it. I really want to do this..badly! I have had one guy go down on me once just before i turned 18 and he never did it again till we ended things..could it have been because of my long labia? How can i give and enjoy being given good oral? I have no clue where and how to start... Please help. PS i am under no pressure whatsoever and i dream of doing this everytime i am with him. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Micha90  +, writes (16 May 2017):
This was the same situation I found myself in with my first serious boyfriend. Mind you, I was much younger than you, 13, but I matured very early and we were both pretty young. I was born with longer inner labia, and I HATED them. I was so afraid of letting my boyfriend see my vagina LET ALONE put his face down there, and after avoiding the subject and putting it off by just giving him oral almost daily to keep him happy he finally asked me what the problem was. I broke down crying and told him how self concious I was about my labia and that I thought i was deformed. He told me that firstly, he had never seen another vagina and wouldn't know what to compare it to, and secondly, he didn't care if my vagina was blue with pink polka dots and horns, he loved me, and wanted to make me feel good. I let him, and it was awesome, that is what I recommend you do as well. As a side note, I never got over my insecurity over my labia, and at 15 had plastic surgery to have them shortened. I am 27 now and regret it so very much, I threw away a part of myself that I can never get back. Love yourself and your body for who you are, unique and beautiful
A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (29 September 2013):
 Labia appearance does not matter at all. Perhaps you think of oral sexual activity as "dirty." If between healthy people without sexual disease, then oral is safe and should not be considered dirty or nasty. Just maintain reasonable cleanliness.
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A
female
reader, Trinklett  +, writes (28 September 2013):
 Seems like you're shy and don't want him to see what you look like down there. That's natural. When next you meet with him let it be towards evening and tell him you want the lights off. Take a deep breathe and allow things to happen. He seems to really like or even love you and wants to please you even more. Have confidence in him and all will go fine.
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A
male
reader, unknown2u +, writes (27 September 2013):
As a guy I can tell you that any time I've been in a position to see a woman's labia there has been far too little blood in my brain to even consider judging appearance. As long as you've bathed in the prior 24 hours he'll like doing it just fine. Enjoy!
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A
female
reader, Dear Mandy  +, writes (26 September 2013):
 llfton has it spot on!!! I second that. You need to just go for it, the more you stress yourself out ( on something he would love to do for YOU) the less likely you will ever move forward. if your that concerned about how you look down there why don't you check online, many MANY women have the same as you with no problem with there guy going down on them. in fact guys love it!!!!!
Mandy x
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A
female
reader, llifton +, writes (26 September 2013):
 sounds like this man really loves you and cares about you. so i'm sure however you look down there (which i'm sure it's fine) won't effect him whatsoever. when you love someone, that stuff doesn't matter.
i date women, and my current gf was extremely uncomfortable with me going down on her for a while when we first got together. it was all in her head. she couldn't let herself relax enough to truly enjoy it. she worried about what i thought of her down there, whether or not she was clean enough, or if i thought it was nice-looking etc. basically, she was so worried and in her head that i might be repulsed and put off by her, that she just couldn't get into it. the moment i started to go down, she would tense up completely and i could tell she didn't want me to do it. so i would stop and do the same thing as your boyfriend. i'd come up and hug her and tell her it was okay.
i think what finally got her comfortable with me was the fact that i let her go down on me. she didn't remotely have an aversion to that lol. she loved it. and so i asked her logically, that if she loves doing it to me so much, why would she believe that i would hate doing it to her? i told her that i would love doing it to her as much as she loves doing it to me. that finally made sense to her and she calmed down enough to finally let me do it. she was still tense for a while, but allowed me to do it. now, she is as relaxed as can be and loves it!
with all that being said, your boyfriend loves you. and you are being your own worst enemy. you gotta find a way to get out of your own head. otherwise, you'll never learn to enjoy oral sex - which would be unfortunate lol. believe me, i know it's a very personal thing. and a lot of women have the same issue as you. you are far from alone. but just know that he would absolutely love every inch of your body and would never make you feel ugly or undesirable. i'm sure he'd love for the chance to make you feel good that way. just work on that head of yours, girl! it'll happen in time.
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