A
male
age
36-40,
*hatsWhat84
writes:Hi AllI have never had a girlfriend or sex and I am in my 20's, I am fed up waiting for the right female to come along as I know it will probably never happen so I have decided to look for sex either in a massage parlour or hire an escort as I need sex because I am fed up just masturbating, my question is has anyone else gone down this route? and could you please recommend any Escorts or massage parlours who would arrange full on sex in Exeter (South West, West Country)?Many Thanks for your answers in advance, very much appreciated!!Kind Regards,WhatsWhat84
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escort, never had a girlfriend Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 March 2011): I don't suggest you go to a prostitute, but if you are going to do that anyway, let me make a suggestion. Listen very carefully: do not ever call an escort to your home. Instead, go to a brothel and pay with cash.
Calling one to your house opens you up to potential blackmail. It is too dangerous. All they have to do is come by the next day and tell you that (insert bullshit story here - you raped the girl / the girl is pregnant or has an STD which you allegedly gave her...and she needs expensive medial attention...etc. They could tell you that they are going to talk to your neighbors, etc. Some escort agencies blackmail their customers.
A
male
reader, nigele +, writes (2 May 2009):
The guy at the beginning is talking rubbish u can wing it just buy a tantra or kama sutra book.My sister went out with a guy who hadnt had a girlfreind since school and he was 26 and shes never been happier.The guy that sleeps around is usually selfish in the sex department.Have u ever seen the film wat women want mel gibson plays a player and when it comes to it hes shit in bed even though hes so sexually experienced.
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male
reader, squizza +, writes (21 November 2008):
This is how it is as I see it - If you were 20 say, 20 years ago then still being a virgin at that age was probably not considered that unusual. But these days I reckon most girls expect a man to be at least a bit experienced by then. So you're actually in a dilemma - you have to either admit to her that you're still a virgin, in which case she's likely to be wondering why that is. Questions like - are you really gay? or have you been in jail all that time, or - worse still - why has no previous girl deflowered you - why have they not find you as attractive? If you try to wing it you'll be found out. It's not possible to pretend you're experienced. Sure there are 'devices' in sex shops which are supposed to mimic what a vagina feels like, but the reality is totally different. Then there's the whole area of how you treat her in sex. Only being with a woman can give you the experience, if that's what you're looking for. So you end up not dating to avoid the dilemma. My advice would be: 1. to go to a classy joint JUST for a massage (nothing more on this occasion) with the best girl you can. TELL HER you find her attractive but you're shy. Let her see you're no pervert. Leave her a tip to show you're genuine, but ask her if she'd go further next time, and find out when she's next working. 2. Next time ask for her and go a bit further - e.g. hand job. Leave her a good tip. You get the idea. And the idea is to get her to trust you. I know she'll be doing it for money, and it is false, but if you can make her feel like a person rather than just an object then she'll most likely give you a decent screw. Whatever...BE CAREFUL as you could easily get STD's this way. You DON'T have to tell anyone how you lost your virginity. But free from the dilemma you'll have more confidence ...then get yourself a proper girlfriend. This method should work provided you're prepared to pay a bit more than you'd expect. But it's a price worth paying to be fair...best of luck!
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reader, disappointedwoman  +, writes (29 August 2008):
Yeah right. If you can be happy paying a woman to pretend she is attracted to you, then just stick to the prostitutes. Don't date if you can't be faithful. Don't bring an innocent woman into this hot mess.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 May 2008): I think all this is bullshit!
When love happens you cannot deny it, it will come naturally to you. I have made a fool out of myself acting stupid in my early years because i was not experienced.
Get the stupid sex out of the system so you can be genuinly interested in her personality rather then overt things.
Escorts are Great
They are very supportive
Allow you to see and feel everything a girl has
Experiment to find what you would like
You can ask her what makes her tic
You can increase your time before you come, a virgin would last 1min mabye? and girls dont like that. Oh and most girst who say they are "virgins" ARE NOT hehe...
I use escorts now and again and enjoy the gods greatest present to man. We are humans gatherers and hunters we get bored of same person sexually but you can recharge with paid service, its 100 times better then having a bit on the side.
I wish i had use a escort first time, would have increased my chances many times
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reader, WhatsWhat84 +, writes (2 March 2008):
WhatsWhat84 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi AllI would like to thank everyone for there own opinions on what I should do I did not expect 11 answers at all I was very surprised! :-o. It just shows how much people care about each other on here which is great! keep up the good work.After reading all of your fascinating and interesting answers I have decided to put off having sex with an Escort or going to a Massage Parlour until after summer for my sins as I do not want to but we shall see what happens through the summer then at the end if I do not pull so to speak then I will obviously be happy to pay for an Escort as they are more likely to give me full on sex.At the end of the day I do not want to be remembered as a lonely virgin after I die. Lucy2118 you make sex sound so easy to get without having to go to an Escort Service, its alright for you females all you have to do is giggle your breasts and the males go to you like rabbits on heat. Its harder for us men as we can not swing our dicks in the air as that would be called indecent exposure and we would be put in jail but yet you females get away with showing your breasts as I suppose they are hard to cover lol! but that’s not the point. Maybe Uncle Trev could find you a male Escort Service in the South West:-DNamatjira I will be lucky if I get to be a road sweeper let alone a businessmen or a politician so I do not think that my reputation could get damaged some how or even get blackmailed.All of your answers were VERY Helpful especially Collaroy in Australia who had the guts to say that he had been to a massage parlour and lost his virginity there it must have taken allot of guts, I admire your guts so to speak (not literally lol)! and Thank you to Uncle Trev for offering to help find Escorts or Massage Parlours within the South West. Keep up the good work one and all and I will make sure I keep you up to date with what I do but I will keep the gory details to myself lol!Kind Regards,WhatsWhat84
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2008): There was story about an escort service with special attention to virgins, basically they offered special service for virgins.
Intresting enough I suppose and the media loved it so the girls got a lot of attention and traffic to their site BUT you had to see the prices. www.ontknaapservice.com (in dutch in case you don't believe me)
Even the most basic option cost several hundred euro's, spend that on a normal girl and you have to be amazingly bad not to get any action (and before any females write to object, the most basic package is 950 euros for 3 hours, be honest if a guy spend that much on your during a date, your panties WOULD drop)
Sure, there are cheaper options, but do you want a bit of quality and patience for your first time or want a whore who just wants you to do it in 5 minutes like the 10 others she had in the last hour?
I think I can understand your frustration but kid, these girls are BLOODY expensive, they mostly provide a service to older men who got money but can't or don't want to bother with young women in a normal relation.
They are not meant for 20 year old "kids" who are just frustated. Hell, if you got that much cash to burn I am sure there will be females in your enviroment who are willing for some casual sex and you can have an entire night.
Do something with that money, spend it on a normal girl, ask a good female friend to go on a trip together, no attachements, but don't waste it on escorts. Too bloody expensive.
Oh and you don't wait for the right person to come around. You go out and HUNT for them.
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female
reader, Lucy2118 +, writes (29 February 2008):
 Is that all you want? Sex?
I live in the south west and i don't think that things like that happen like that down this way, well not that i know of anyway.
X
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male
reader, Namatjira +, writes (29 February 2008):
Some god things have been said by others here already but one warning has not been mentioned.
Consider various businessmen and politicians or other public figures. Now thing back over how they have been treated by the media and the public when it has been revealed that they have used such services in the past. Would you want this to be you in the future?
While there are no doubt many ways to stop being blackmailed the best way by far is to not do something that could become the subject of blackmail in the first place. Paying for sex may be accepted in some quarters but it always has been and likely always will be a prime subject for blackmail.
In addition to this, while I accept that some women in that job enjoy it and the benefits it can bring them, I also have no doubt that a great many of them, possibly most, feel that they are doing a job just for the money and not for any particular love of it. In many cases I am sure they started out expecting that it would not affect their view of sex and love making, but inevitably it will have. Do you really want to be with someone who just regards you with contempt, no matter how they disguise it, it will still be there?
Your first time (and if possible every time) should be special and worthy of fond memories until you are too old to remember back that far. You want to be able to learn about the wonders of all of this with someone else who is learning at the same time, or at least someone who is putting their own heart and emotions into it.
I think most other guys will agree with me that while sex itself is usually wonderful, the combination of sexual experiences with emotional feelings shared with the one you are making love with is so much more intense and satisfying that once experienced you wont want to go back anyway. Why settle for second best if you have experienced the best. It is this last dimension that makes the difference between an okay relationship and one with real strength that has a solid chance if you also apply the same enthusiasm to other aspects of it.
At the end of the day, do you want to be forgotten as just another punter, or do you want to be remembered as a special guy by a woman who loved you enough to spend this special time with you?
All the best.
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male
reader, leonard j. Douglas  +, writes (29 February 2008):
Just go to the Yellow Pages of any Phone book and you won't have a problem getting AIDS.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 February 2008): Hi Friend your NOT alone
I think you would be making a big big big mistake if you paid for sex. I believe it is the right thing to wait for the right one. I know cause I'm sill waiting. someone I know (male) waited a long time he was 29 when he first met "the right one" And now guess what they are engaged to be married this May! They both are so right for each other. She waited too. He told me that it was definitely worth the wait. And my older sister 26 years old and she is still waiting. But for my other older sister 19 well she is getting married in September. She also told me the wait was worth it. everyone has a different time to meet the right one. I hope you take this advice to heart and wait.
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reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (29 February 2008):
 Hi THere,
I do seminars and telephone-consults for adult male virgins such as yourself. The one thing I can tell you is going to sex workers may relieve the sexual (physical) cravings temporarily, but they do not fill the emotional cravings.
It is too easy to become a crutch and regular event for you. The bad part is when the day comes that you actually meet a woman you genuinely like, you will not have developed the social skills to attract nor seduce her. You will still be the same frustrated young man you are now.
Please reconsider. Use your frustrations to work on yourself to make yourself a better man, capable of addressing women's emotional needs to attract them.
My work is solid, and I help guys get their first girlfriends within 6 months to a year of studying my material.
-Frank B Kermit
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reader, Collaroy  +, writes (29 February 2008):
 Hi there,
first let me say I lost my virginity at a massage parlour. I thought I would never have sex so by the time I was 18 I just had to do it. Now it wasnt a horrific experience, it didnt have an any negative effects on me, it didnt make it harder for me to communicate with women, it didnt make me devalue women , it was just a way for this Catholic boy to get this particular monkey of his shoulder.
But it was an unrewarding experience, she was being paid and acted like it. I also realised that I would never ever visit one of these places again, as when you are having sex with someone who is not attracted to you it is simply a case of putting your erect penis into a big lubricated hole. Sorry to be disgusting but that's all it is - how any man can actually achieve orgasm through this is beyond me.
When you are in love with someone or attracted to them you get a very tingly feeling inside you when you hold them close and sex is a million times better than with someone who has sex for a living.
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male
reader, Uncle Trev +, writes (29 February 2008):
There are massage parlours and escorts in every city in the country and I know for sure that Exeter is no exception to this.
At the same time there are some good pubs and clubs in the city as well where people go on the pull so to say.
I personally for one would never entertain the idea of charging or paying for sex as I think it is such a precious thing that you cannot realistically put a price on it. The second a price is put on the act it becomes a business transaction and very unpersonal.
Nevertheless if you remain convinced that you are definately going to go the way of the parlours I can at least let you know where you can find that kind of stuff in Devon. (The safer more legitimate stuff) If you contact me privately I will let you know if you really want to go this way.
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reader, davie +, writes (29 February 2008):
I would also advise you against it. If you want sex then go on an online dating site and say that's what you're looking for.
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 February 2008): I don't think you're heading down the right path. I know these types of "services" are available and I suppose they are used by men but I think the bigger problem is, your avoidance of socializing with women in the real world because of fear or shyness. Once you've achieved sexual activity through an escort service, you'll never have a reason to develop healthy social behaviors toward real women. This could lock you into the unhealthy routine of paying for sex, instead of learning how to meet, and get to know a women for real. You're awfully young to be seeking out these types of services. What are you afraid of? You can't be that bad! Why stoop to this? You are probably a bright, funny, warm and wonderful man if you give yourself a chance to get to know a woman. Sure it may be difficult at first. You may even have a few rejections, but keep trying there's bound to be a great gal out there looking for someone like you. And the longer you hide yourself away, the less chance you'll have to experience a normal life, complete with marriage and kids someday. Don't hide behind these types of services, it'll be too convenient to avoid a real relationship and having something meaningful with someone. And most women would be a little freaked out to learn that you have used these services in the past. So it'll kill your chances of looking like a "good guy" to a classy lady. That's my advise. I wish you the best.
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