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Should I be concerned my about my boyfriend being a "cross-dresser"?

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Question - (16 March 2008) 6 Answers - (Newest, 17 March 2008)
A female United Kingdom age 36-40, *onfusedHalo writes:

My boyfriend told me before we got together that he was a cross dresser, it didn't concern me at the time, but after a year he's still not introduced me to his other personality and i'm scared that he's doing something behind my back. He's mentioned things before that have concerned me but i didn't want to be narrow minded.

Am i right to be concerned, and where do i go from here?

Lost and Tearful

ConfusedHalo

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A female reader, Laura1318 Malaysia +, writes (17 March 2008):

Laura1318 agony auntA cross dresser could be just a fetish whereas a transvestite is a transgender or transexual who have female characteristics.

They are also a human being and it is just that their feminine side is more pronounced.

They are normal and not perverted as some people think of them.

Many people do not understand them .

They were born that way .Not any man can become a cross dresser or a transvestite.

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A female reader, ConfusedHalo United Kingdom +, writes (17 March 2008):

ConfusedHalo is verified as being by the original poster of the question

This is Halo again, thanks for the posts from Uncle Trev and Doc. John, i've found a website that has flooded me inbox with support in only a few hours i am amazed there are so many people that are going through the same thing as me, and they're all looking for answers. Thank you Doc. for doing research thats really nice of you. Halo

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A male reader, Dr. John United States +, writes (17 March 2008):

Dr. John agony auntI don't have much experience with cross dressers so I did some research and found a link to a webpage that will give you some insight from a cross dressers point of view.

I also found a link to another page that gives further explanation such as the ability to escape from the daily routine and responsibilities of being a male.

For example;

"For some of these men, the act of wearing women's clothes allows them to "step away" from masculinity and all that society expects of men. Other men report while they enjoy playing a traditional masculine role, their cross-dressing provides a welcome refuge. These motives are related to the expression of hidden personality characteristics.

3. Expressing hidden personality characteristics."

I hope this helps. Doc

http://www.jenellerose.com/htmlpostings/darkside/ControllingtheUrge.htm

http://www.ren.org/rbp02.html

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A female reader, ConfusedHalo United Kingdom +, writes (17 March 2008):

ConfusedHalo is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Hi just to add to what little informations already there, when we first met he was pretty open, she goes out on special days with other ladies to a safe haven where they all get dressed up and have a giggle. He's told me HER fantasies involve other men and that concerns me for health reasons but as far as i'm aware nothings ever happened. The reason i am now concerned about him is because we are looking to move in together and i'm worried about her, the fact i don't know her, could she attack me, if she's a different personality what if we don't get on? I've never been involved or introduced on this scene before and because of that i'm wary. I just want to know that everythings going to be ok, and i'm ot going to know that until he opens up to me. I don't want to force him, but it's kinda important to me. Any ideas?

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A male reader, Uncle Trev United Kingdom +, writes (17 March 2008):

Most blokes I know who choose to cross dress do it because they like the feel of soft feminine clothes upon their bodies. These are usually closet cross dressers so to say and if this is the case you have absolutely nothing to worry about.

Ask him about it as I would have thought he would be willing to talk to you about it. The fact that he may not want you to see him dressed up may be because he doesn't like anybody to see him like this and so if he is not going out and not mixing with others then what mischief could he get up to.

You say it didn't concern you when he told you so within reason how can it concern you now.

Then again on the other hand if he is going out and flirting with other blokes trying to get them to believe he is a real woman then he could be treading in a dangerous area but this approach is highly unlikely.

I really don't think there is anything to worry about but talk to him and ask him.

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A female reader, thatgothgirl20 United States +, writes (17 March 2008):

thatgothgirl20 agony auntYes you are right to be concerned. Talk to him about it.

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