A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:HELP im 12 years old and i slept with my best friend's boyfriendwe were at a party and we got drunk. We both decided we really fancied each other and when his girlfriend left we ended up in bed.I don't no if i should tell my best friend. She knows me and him flirt but she only has a go at me and not him. If i tell her i might never talk to her again. I don't know what to do please help x
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2008): Alcohol and lust are a dangerous combination. At 12 (and he is how old?), it is not possible to handle both. You didn't know that and you got in over your head. You need to forgive yourself. But now you do know. Don't use alcohol as an excuse to behave badly. So you must never drink and be alone with him (or anyone else), and you should see your doctor. As to telling, why would you do that? If your friend is also 12, this boy will not be her life companion. Telling her relieves your guilt but does nothing for her. Tell the guy it can never happen again, that it would be unkind to let your friend know that you two behaved like immoral idiots. Tell him if he isn't serious, he shouldn't lead her on. Accept that you can NEVER date him. And be extra nice to your girlfriend. Also: consider the possibility that you are angry or jealous of your friend and did this to feel better. If so, try to watch out for doing something similar again.
A
male
reader, john101 +, writes (17 April 2008):
 you should tell your best friend what happend, cose it is the right thing to do, and if she found out through somebody else then there would be hell on. and if she goes off one you should remind her that it takes to people to flirt and have sex
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2008): Back in 1989, when I was thirteen I had sex for the first time. I was not out of control, contrary to what most people seem to think about sex at this age. Of course, one must be safe and try not to sleep with people who are off limits. This can happen and often does when two people of the opposite sex and mutual friends with someone get too close. It is in our biology to get attached and then to express it, which is why good people will do bad things like cheat, or have sex with a friends other. I would feel it is right to tell the truth, and express sincere apologies for it, if you are sorry. If you are not sorry, then you are in fact too young to be having sex. Its not so much age as it is maturity. Teenagers can be mature enough to have sex, but most aren't do to our culture. Most adults frankly these days are not mature enough to be having sex. Always treat others how you would like to be treated if the situation was reversed. Would you want the truth?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2008): okay
my advice is too just tell her.. i know that she would be much hapier if you told her rather than someone else telling her. sure she may be angry at first but if she's a good frien she will forgive you
and will poeple on here either leave advice or not say anything at all.. sayong how "dissapointed your are at kids these days" wont help! it will just make people feel worse.sure 12 is a lil young but everyone makes mistakes . keep your opions to yourself if they are not nice!
(: hope it all goes well sweet heart (:
xxx good luck
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2008): Hitwelve years old! Having sex and drunk. Yes people will be harsh, but they're not angry at you, they're angry with society, your parents at way we/they are not protecting our innocent.You have your whole life to be grown up, 70 years plus, so don't rush into adulthood it will come soon enough.Did you actually have sex? penetrative sex? You need to see your GP and check your not pregnant and discuss seeing a youth counselor for help and advise re drinking and protecting yourself from abuse from others who may take advantage of a vulnerable child, which clearly you are.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2008): Hitwelve years old! Having sex and drunk. Yes people will be harsh, but they're not angry at you, they're angry with society, your parents at way we/they are not protecting our innocent.You have your whole life to be grown up, 70 years plus, so don't rush into adulthood it will come soon enough.Did you actually have sex? penetrative sex? You need to see your GP and check your not pregnant and discuss seeing a youth counselor for help and advise re drinking and protecting yourself from abuse from others who may take advantage of a vulnerable child, which clearly you are.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2008): Everyone here is being so harsh. No it wasn't right but people make mistakes all the time, some are just bigger than others. Tell your friend immediately, and forget about it. It shouldn't have happened, and try not to make it ever happen again. Leave this behind, but always remember it as a warning.And to the people like SoSowhat10-what is the helpfullness in answers like that? People come here for help, not to have people tell them what they did was terrible and offer no help at all. I hope you can sort this out, good luck
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2008): I don't know what to say except that Uncle Trev said it perfectly. I continue to be amazed at the age of youngsters having sex and getting drunk. Yeah, where the hell are the parents?
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A
female
reader, thatgothgirl20  +, writes (17 March 2008):
 Tell her, and stop drinking.
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A
male
reader, Jamer70 +, writes (16 March 2008):
 Why are you drinking at 12 and having parties without parental supervision?
Growing up fast may seem good but once your are actually older you will wish your were 12 again.
But for your question tell her, she deserves to know if your any type of friend to her.
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A
female
reader, Lovesick24 +, writes (16 March 2008):
 I'm not going to say that what you did was right, but in your defense, you weren't the only one who did wrong. The boy and the alcohol had a part in it too. I think that you should tell your friend right away, because the more you wait, the worse it's going to get. In a way, you could be protecting your friend. It's never good to date a guy that cheats, no matter how high or low the level of cheating is. If you ask God to help you he will, but that doesn't mean that your friend won't be angry. Here, look at it this way. Would you rather she found out from you or the boy? If she found out from you, then at least she could consider you honest. If she found out from the boy, that just leaves you in a worse position than before. My advice is tell her, and tell her quickly before the boy does. Hope this helps.
Sincerly,
Lovesick
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A
female
reader, kellz7 +, writes (16 March 2008):
First of all you should not be having sex at twelve years old!!!!!!! And i hope you used protection!I think you should tell her, she will be angry obviously but the truth always comes out! Better sooner than later!
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A
male
reader, Uncle Trev +, writes (16 March 2008):
For christs sake you are twelve years old - where are your parents in all of this.
Do they not know about this kind of delinquent behaviour?
Do they not care about you or your future?
As for doing this to your best friend what sort of person are you?
If you keep on behaving like this everybody will learn to hate you and then it will only be a metter of time before you get to hate yourself too.
Get back to doing what most 12 year olds do and grow up naturally.
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A
female
reader, keda_8811 +, writes (16 March 2008):
honestly i dont think u should tell her because its going 2 do nothing but cause an argument between the 2 of you and its betta not 2 know than know at all. You feel me? So keep it 2 yourself, look at it like this would you think she would tell you if she slept with him? No, i dont think so.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 March 2008): You're 12, you got drunk, you had sex. Jeez.. Honey control yourself. You're a kid trying to act like an adult, and you're really gonna hurt yourself if you keep doing this. I just pray you used protection.
Slow down and enjoy your childhood, really. You'll regret it otherwise.
But to answer your question. Tell her and tell her soon. The longer you leave it, the more it will devestate her when she finds out. I can't blame her if she never wants to talk to you again - you betrayed her in the worst way, and it'll take time for the pain to heal. There's no way of telling her that will hurt her less - so stop worrying about what to say and just say it like it is. ''Look, I feel bad because.. I slept with your boyfriend'' should do fine.
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