A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm 20 years old and in university right now... I had been seeing this guy for 2.5 years and it was very serious, talking about the possibility of engagement at some point in the next 3-4 years... very serious. I loved him with all my heart and we had very few problems, lots of great sex, etc, etc... It was a good, solid relationship... I thought we were soulmates, we were best friends, etc.... You get the picture.So yesterday I told him that my dentist recommended that I get braces to straighten out my teeth- my dentist said I would have to wear them for 6-8 months. I said yes, because my teeth have bugged me forever.But when I told my boyfriend he said he didn't want me to because he didn't want to date a girl with braces. He tried to talk me out of it, but I told him I wanted to fix my teeth because they cause me low self-esteem and I would feel and look better after all of it.It caused a very big fight, at the end of which he told me it was over between us and he doesn't want to see me anymore.I haven't stopped crying and I have been looking everywhere for help... I don't know what to do... I am very hurt.I am wondering why he couldn't see past the 6-8months with braces and realize that at the end of it I would be even better and happier?? I called him today to see if he had changed his mind, he said Nope, as long as I am getting braces, he wants nothing to do with me.How could someone who was so loving and such a great friend and lover to me turn around like that and turn into such a jerk???Is this something that seems reasonable to anyone else? I would like a man's opinion about whether or not you would dump someone because of braces? Do you think I should have backed down and said I wouldn't get them? I miss him already and love him so much. Please help me. Thank you.
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female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (11 March 2008):
 Sorry sweetness,
This post pissed me off. Your boyfriend is a CLASS "A" JERK. God, okay, maybe he's being honest with you, maybe braces aren't really his "thing", but that shouldn't even matter. In theory he loves you for YOU, right? Even if you decided to shave your head, tattoo a llama on your face and wear all day-glo, he should still love you like crazy. He can't deal with braces for 6-8 months??? That's not even a long time! Lots of people get stuck with braces for at least a year, two or three... you hardly have to wear them at all!
This guy is so not worth your time if he is being such a baby about these braces. He's trying to BREAK UP? Over BRACES? I mean, after a mere 6-8 months, you'll have gorgeous teeth, a gorgeous smile and a gorgeous new self esteem. You'll feel amazing. Well, ditch the guy, honey. You are a goddess and you'll feel way better without the loser. He should want you to be happy.
Be strong and smile big, sweetness!
xx India
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 March 2008): No I wouldn't.Geez gods, what next, dump someone because they need glasses, what if you broke your leg, he wouldn't want a girl in plaster?Through thick and thin. Although for most people that is stuff like your partner becoming crippled from the neck down and stuff like that. Not braces for a couple of months. He sounds like a spoiled brat who wants everything his way and the rest of the world, even his girlfriend be damned.You need these braces for your health as well as to make you even more beautiful and he is against that? Better off without him.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 March 2008): THIS GUY IS A D*CK!
geez, if i had a relationship with them kinda qualities i wouldnt ruin it over braces, the guy is very, very shallow.
dont let him get to you, find a better guy so when he comes crawling back, you can rub what he's missed in his face so he knows how much of a jerk he is.
IT IS NOT NORMAL TO DUMP SOMEONE BECAUSE OF BRACES.
you can do better.
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A
male
reader, Passthrough +, writes (10 March 2008):
 Braces are sexy- Guys always like dating younger women :-D (with expection).
He sounds very, very shallow. Skip him, get the braces, and attract a new guy with them, or worse comes to worse, with a brand new perfect smile!
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A
male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (10 March 2008):
 Hi,
I think the braces are a substitute for hiding something else. If he really is that shallow a person he wouldn't be such a wonderful guy ( according to you anyway ). This is something a 12 year old would do.
Maybe the talking about marriage at such a young age got him a bit scared. Be honest and ask yourself was he really involved in the marriage talk or was it you dreaming of your future life together.
Save for that I cant think of anything, if he really wants to dump you because you are getting braces then you are best of without him, and p.s. he aint such a great guy if he's like this, more of a total dickhead.
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A
male
reader, Uncle Trev  +, writes (10 March 2008):
I am afraid this bloke is a complete idiot.
No matter how much you like him he doesn't like you that much. No matter how much he says he likes you. If he liked you that much he would at least be able to see beyond the next six months and would also be proud of the fact that you are trying to do something about improving your appearance and your confidence.
I doubt if he would be chucking you if you were to go in for a boob job, or going in for corrective laser surgery so you wouldn't have to wear glasses any more. How about porcelin veneers to your teeth to give you a whiter smile, or hair extensions. What is the differance here other than him having some hang up about the brace?
I know here in the UK they tend to fit the braces to younger girls and boys 8-14 years old. He may have a thing about the brace making you look younger and therefore it makes him look like he is out with an under aged girl.
Then again you mention the history - doesn't this count anything to him - especially if you say how good things have been with him.
Are you close with other members of his family or is he close to some of your family members?
If this is the case isn't it possible for a family member to intervene or someone to act as a mediator who could knock some sense into this fellow.
I know I said earlier that this bloke is an idiot and I stand by that as you sound a very nice person and it would take an idiot of a person to dump you all for the sake of a couple of temporary tramlines.
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A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (10 March 2008):
 That sounds rather shallow of him to me. Very confusing though. In my opinion, your happiness and self-esteem is more important than a boyfriend who possibly will turn out to be very controlling. Think about that for a moment.
Have the two of you been getting along mainly because you do everything he tells you to do? Do you pretty much cater to all his wishes and go along with what he always wants to do? If any of that sounds about right, then you may be talking about a fellow who will increasingly begin to control you, and in marriage, that can be a nightmare. Those are my thoughts based on your description. Best wishes. Be happy.
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A
female
reader, hello1 +, writes (10 March 2008):
 This guy is a jerk, just be thankful you seen his true colours now before it was too late. So go and get those braces
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 March 2008): i think he was looking for an excuse to dummp you in the first place, if someone has been with you for 2.5 years, he is your friend and supossely he loved you i wouldn't matter if you have braces or a huge nose or anything else. if he loved you he would have accepted you no matter what.
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A
male
reader, gabba's say +, writes (10 March 2008):
 I think braces are rather sexy myself. He is obviously an idiot if he would dump you because of that.
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