A
female
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*rizzylizzy
writes:My boyfriend has been asked with work to go to Australia for 3 months to work. I am worried that is too long to be apart and our relationship won't withstand it.. He has said he won't go if I say I don't want him to. Do I have the right to stop him doing this or will we be okay? He says he wants the experience of going away but also the money is excellent so we could build an extension on to our house... I don't know what to do.
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 March 2008): I think let him go and with your blessing. 3 months is nothing in the scheme of life. Equally - why don't you brak up some of the time and have a holiday half way through with him, make this your opportunity and experiance too.
The fact that he has this opportunity is something which you should look at in a positive way. Ask yourself why you consider that this period would effect your relationship and just sort out how you can counter the distance between you. I am a great beleiver in the fact that sometimes absence definately can make the heart grow stonger.
But I guess it depends on how strong the heart is in the first place!
A
male
reader, Uncle Trev  +, writes (10 March 2008):
Surely it is only three months - how about you going with him?
As for the money - if it is this good and you know he could earn this good out there then it has to be considered.
It is quite possible for a relationship to handle a three month absense and with the internet and cheap telephone calls it would not be impossible to keep in regular contact.
Many women complain about their lazy partners not working and not pulling their share - it looks as if you have got a good bloke here who is willing to work and if he does this then who knows what other work could develop as a result of it?
Either let him go or go with him but don't stop him.
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 March 2008): Let him go. It would not be right to stop him. The relationship will survive the test, it will be even stronger if you let him go with confidence. Hold him back and you won't get all that gratitude and he won't know how much you trust him, which I am sure you do. Treat him as you expect him to behave and he will honour you. This chance is a great way for you to cement your relationship into something grown up. Grit your teeth and show no fear. If it didn't survive this small test it would not be worth having anyway.
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female
reader, howcomehoney  +, writes (10 March 2008):
 Let him go. If you two love each other, it won't be a problem. Three months isn't that long. A hundred years ago it would have been a lot harder, but now you can keep in touch very easily - you'll be able to talk to each other via the internet or on the phone every day. Don't stop him from doing it, he will end up resenting it even if he doesn't say anything.
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 March 2008): How would you feel if the opportunity arose for you and he didnt want you to go? Crap.Well i think that you should let him go, tell him to keep in touch. And also tell him to go with the thought in mind that you two could go in the future for a holiday there and tell him to source out somewhere for you both to stay, that way you have something to plan to in the future that involves you both going.
take care
xx
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 March 2008): Let him go cos if you don't,he will always hold this against you whenever you row no matter what it is about! Its best to let him experience this now on his own. He's gonna be making great money like you said and it will come in very handy to you both.
My boyf went for 2 months over a 18 months ago and like you I thought it would be the end of us but... It actually brought us closer together, made him realise what he was missing out on. We stayed in contact mostly via txts and the odd call but cos of the time difference it was hard but we survived. It was great to wake up in the morning and find texts from him that he had sent to me during the nite/his day and vice versa.
These things can work out, you just got to have the trust and faith in your boyf. All you need to do is stay busy and occupied so you are not spending all your time thinking about him. Go out with your friends, have fun also and just enjoy yourself :)
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 March 2008): I understand your insecurities and concerns, however, I think if he did not go he would always regret not going and this may lead to him resenting you.If your relationship is stable, built on trust, honesty and love then you should have no worries. Let him go or go with him......great opportunity for you both?
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 March 2008): I think you should let him go, on the agreement that he calls you or updates you regularly! Yes, this is a once in a lifetime chance for him, and as you say, it pays good money that would definitely come in handy, so take the plunge and let him go for it. Surely you trust him? Well this will be a test of faith and trust for both of you, so this could be a very healthy thing for your relationship - even if worst comes to worst and he cheats or something.. Which I'm sure he won't! But if he does, at least it shows you what kind of a man he is before you get in too deep. As much as he might deny it, he won't thank you for holding him back, so go for it honey. Good luck :]
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