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| | *his_years_love's profile:I've been on the road since i was 16, i've seen a lot of the world and met a lot of it's people and learnt to deal with whoever I cross paths with accordingly. I'm great at analyzing situations and finding the root of a problem and how to solve it. I learned quick how to break down a situation, understand the potential good and bad consequences and the ripple effect those consequences have on those around me and involved with my life. I believe those willing to take responsibility regardless of justification and excuses are always those who succeed in their relationships, and I have a huge desire to help people learn how to do this--I don't keep many people in my life who are incapable of grasping personal responsibility (although I believe being responsible can mean any number of things, it's definitely not about working your 9-5 and paying bills in my mind), and I guess you could say irresponsible people make me tick.
I'm happiest single at this point in my life, but I have a VERY open view about relationships, marriage, and reasonability within a partnership. I hope I can help open your mind and shape your own individual tailored idea of love and how you can make a difficult thing work for you. |
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Should I reconsider the trip for my reputation? Is it too early to go on vacation together?
Q. I'm 21 and I've been dating someone from my university for two months. We've planned a 3 day trip to another state for spring break. We both think it would be really fun to explore another city together. However, my mom was furious when she...
A. 15 March 2012: Make the decision that reflects YOUR personal values, whatever they may be. Morals and beliefs are one of the most important factors in what defines whether we end up happy or miserable--always do what feels right to you and don't be bossed around ... (read in full...)
Abrupt communication cut off with the married woman I love, should I use someone to talk to her seen as she is ignoring me?
Q. I'm a lesbian who had a mutual understanding relationship with a married woman - nothing intimate, we just go out and have dinner. We'd keep in touch through a famous social network, usually through private messages. I usually joke a lot and in our ...
A. 15 March 2012: Good for you! Think of this as a necessary learning experience and seek comfort in knowing that the ones we truly love the most are those who have the biggest roles in shaping who we are--even if it comes from us losing them.
Whenever you miss her... (read in full...)
Abrupt communication cut off with the married woman I love, should I use someone to talk to her seen as she is ignoring me?
Q. I'm a lesbian who had a mutual understanding relationship with a married woman - nothing intimate, we just go out and have dinner. We'd keep in touch through a famous social network, usually through private messages. I usually joke a lot and in our ...
A. 14 March 2012: To put it bluntly (which you need to hear), it's your behaviour that has caused this to escalate to this point, period. You harassed this woman when she probably only needed a bit of space to figure some things out and deal with her decisions ... (read in full...)
My teacher has helped me through a very hard time...but now I am developing a crush on him?
Q. Sorry in advance or the long post. :) This has been going on all school year, and I just don't know what to do. Here's the story: After summer I got a new English teacher because my old one retired. He's fresh out of teacher's university, and ...
A. 25 January 2012: DO NOT TELL HIM ABOUT THIS POST!
he will start to think if you're telling strangers on the internet about this crush and how you percieve the relationship, he'll think you've told others and he'll get freaked out and back away out of fear for losi... (read in full...)
Should I get back together with my partner or go travelling?
Q. My partner and I broke up a couple of weeks ago. We desided it would be best to take a good break from one another as our whole relationship we have been living together. I was really gutted about the breakup and really love him alot, we are getting ...
A. 30 July 2011: TRAVEL TRAVEL TRAVEL!!!! I cannot stress how much being on the road will bring you clarity!!! Either you will realize how much you love him and will go home more ready to commit and feeling a little more settled and a lot less like you have to 'find... (read in full...)
I'm in love with someone a ton older than me who I can hardly see anymore. What do I do?
Q. I am 14 and I realize that at this age most of us are throwing around the word "love" like nothing and we're highly immature, but I'm willing to bet everything that I am truthfully in love because: I have never been so happy to see someone's smile ...
A. 18 November 2010: I have to dissagree with everyone saying 'oh you're not in love you're too young' etc etc. When I was 13 I fell HEAD OVER HEALS in love with an instructor at one of my summer camps. He had a girlfriend (who he's now married to and has children... (read in full...)
My husband says he doesn't know if he loves me because of my weight
Q. My husband has told me three times on three seperate ocassions in our 6 year relationship that he doesn't know if he loves me, and that because of my weight he is no longer atracted to me. He has a lot of issues and has started councilling and was ...
A. 10 November 2010: I am not married so I don't have much advice about what TO do but I can say absolutely to the second answer from the anonymous reader NO NO NO NO NO.
Do NOT tell him to help you and if you DO be VERY careful about how you do it and consider enli... (read in full...)
Completely in love with my 27 year old teacher!
Q. I don't know what to do. Im completely in love with my 27 year old teacher (im 16, so 11 years difference) Yes we have our days when we don't really get along but I guess every relationship has these. He means the world to me and I know I mean the ...
A. 10 November 2010: You remind me SO much of me in high school. What concerns me the most here is how you use the word 'we'. It's obvious that you have your feelings for him, but you wrap this man up in them and make them his too in your description of this experien... (read in full...)
Love is a one way street!
Q. My husband and I have been married for 7 1/2 years and we no longer have sex. The last time was in 2006. He says he loves me but doesn't want to be intimate at all. We've both gained about 40 lbs each over the last 6 years and he says we're too fat ...
A. 3 March 2010: I am not married, and never have been so I do not by any means understand the dynamics of marrige.
However, it sounds to me like he is insecure about the situation and takes it out on you.
He's gained weight too, maybe he feels HE is too fat to h... (read in full...)
I've always been attracted to girls but never their personalities.
Q. This is gonna sound pretty stupid. I'm 17 years old and I seem to be a bit confused. I've dated a handful of girls in my life but I've never really felt that "spark". I've always been attracted to girls but never their personalities. Suddenly, I've ...
A. 3 March 2010: As a young woman who was one a 16-17 year old girl...
GIRLS ARE ASSHOLES!!!!!
not every girl, but certainly the vast majority of teenage girls make it REALLY hard for people to like them.
I am embarassed and ashamed of who i was at that age, so... (read in full...)
Attracted to older men...
Q. Hi, I don't know if any other girls 16-18 share my unfortuante, ya could say, liking for older men. By older I mean like 50. Well i've always wondered how older guys see it? I mean like do they think that these younger girls must be immature? Mus...
A. 3 March 2010: Okay so i can hear the 'you need a father figure' posts waiting to be thurst upon you already. honestly, my dad is and pretty much always has been MY BEST FRIEND. as in i tell him things i don't tell my friends my own age, i'm twenty now but it's... (read in full...)
How do I get my old teacher to be with me??
Q. I'm graduating high school in a couple of months and I can't wait to finally start my life! However, I've fallen hard with a former teacher of mine who's 31. I'm legal now and don't want to cause him to lose his job or make him feel uncomfortable so ...
A. 22 February 2010: I went through the same thing as well. Totally attracted to a teacher, very friendly, we were actually close in a non student-teacher way while I was in his class. I knew he had a family and never persued my feelings for him but I did maintain... (read in full...)
I'm an author looking for your stories about teacher/pupil relationships...
Q. Hi all Have a bit of an unusual question but here goes - I am a published fiction writer in the UK, and am in the early stages of writing a book about a teacher/pupil relationship. I have been reading through stories on this site and others ...
A. 13 May 2009: haha too cool i'm currently writing a novel of the same type and did a lot of my research on this site!
best wishes!... (read in full...)
Male Teacher, Female Student and a Father-Daughter Relationship
Q. I'm sorry for another one of these questions.. My philosophy/religion teacher is middle aged, and a very handsome man; but what has won me over most has been his confidence, down-to-earth demeanor and corky sense of humour. He has led an admir...
A. 10 April 2009: Hey... Senior year is really different from the other years of school, because you're becoming more a woman than a girl. You stop seeing teachers as enemies and start to see them as people, potential friends even. I was in my senior year l... (read in full...)
I am wondering what this is doing to my body?
Q. Hey, I was just wondering what this is doing to my body. At the moment I am eating nothing all week apart from on Fridays when I have a binge. After this binge I am sick but I only make myself sick three times after each binge, no more and no less....
A. 18 October 2008: as a recovering bulimic i can tell you from experience the best thing to do is get help for this NOW.
i know its terrifying, scary, embarassing, etc..i know that and i know its unfathomable that your parents find out...but you need to get on this... (read in full...)
How do I get to know my art mentor better?
Q. I'm 18 and in love with somebody who seems inappropriate for me, because he's 47 years old. He's also my mentor of art performance in the school. I can't get him off of my mind. I think about him all the time. When I first met him (the year bef...
A. 30 September 2008: i'm sorry to say that there are so, so many things wrong in this post.
a)the second reply that says age doesn't matter
b)he's married
c)he's involved with your school
the list goes on and on!
i know the answer up there saying go for it is ... (read in full...)
I'm nervous to be seen naked by my boyfriend.
Q. I really want to have sex with my boyfriend but I am kinda nervous being naked around him! I've tried to like get over it but it just wont go away! I really like my boyfriend and he would never force me to do anything I didnt like! I am dying to ...
A. 31 March 2008: if you don't love him enough to be confident infront of him naked then maybe you need to reconsider taking the big step to sex..you're still young you've got plenty of time.... (read in full...)
Can you be a virgin and have anal sex and get pregnant?
Q. ok here goes I'm a virgin and had anal sex for the first time, now I'm having pregnancy syptoms like stomach pain, back ache, dizzness and nauseousness and I wonder am I pregnant? help me...
A. 31 March 2008: i can't believe how many people are saying it's impossible to get pregnant through anal sex! dr john is the only one on here with any common sense!
many people get pregnant just from hand jobs or oral sex! all it takes is the semen being intr... (read in full...)
I'm really depressed and want to runaway..
Q. I'm a 13rd old girl. I'm in gr.8 so I am still in public school I've been going through alot in my life lately. I've just been a really sad, lonely, depressed young girl. Even at school recess, i'm all alone outside. I've been crying alot when I'm ...
A. 13 March 2008: i went through exactly the same thing when i was your age. you remind me so much of myself back then..and ihad the same feeling of just wanting to run from it all and start over...i know its been said before and its hard to accept but things to get ... (read in full...)
I'm a teacher and have formed a good online friendship with a quite mature teenager(17). Am I wrong to want to meet her - or even to be talking to her?
Q. hi there. i am a 28 year old teacher..been working near London for about 5 years.. problem is I met a girl on line about 4 months ago..she is 17 doing 'A' levels in a different school (about 100 miles away) i might add, and is quite mature.....
A. 27 December 2007: i have a fair bit of personal experience with almost exactly the same situation...same age difference...same deal with chatting online..he was a teacher...
it's a lot to write so if you'd like to chat about it PLEASE message me on here, and i'll... (read in full...)
My bf wants me to have sex with him next weekend...please help asap.
Q. I am 12 years old and my boyfriend is 15. He told me the other night he wanted to have sex. I was playing around and said yeah ok then he was like do i need to bring condoms. I was like yeah then we didnt do it but still he wants to next weekend. ...
A. 2 December 2007: tell him flat out no! if you're uncomfortable with something, especially of this nature he needs to know about it! just be honest with yourself and with him remember that even with a condom there is a risk of pregnancy-especially whe... (read in full...)
I'm 21, she's 17... Is this too much of a difference?
Q. im 21 and thinking of asking a girl out thats 17. is that too young? opinions please....
A. 1 December 2007: hey! look it really REALLY depends on the people involved more than the age... i dated a 21 year old when i was 15...granted i was the only one of my friends who had that big of an age gap, but we got along fine and had a normal relationship. 2... (read in full...)
Am I ready?
Q. i'm 15 and there's a guy i really love. we have talked about having sex lots of times but i don't know i'm ready or not. can you help me?...
A. 24 November 2007: hey hun.
try to really think about the doubts you are having about sex...why did you feel you needed to ask us in the first place? is it because of morals? the risks of STD and pregnancy? the other person involvede?
there ARE reasons you are doub... (read in full...)
Why can't he invite me too when he goes out with his friends? Am I being unfair?
Q. hiy, i have been with my boyfriend for 1 year now and he has started going out with his friends in the evening once in a while, it annoys me because i dont ever go out with any friends of mine, and he didnt go out for the first 7-8 months .. it bot...
A. 22 November 2007: hey darl look at it this way if you had a chick flick night with your best friends and just wanted to pig out on chocolate or whatever and swoon over orlando bloom would you want him around? guys need their time together without girls there the ... (read in full...)
PLEASE HELP....Is it bad to date someone 20 years older than you?
Q. I'm 17 and I've always been a girl who's parents were always so proud.. I'm a pretty good kid. I dont drink... smoke... cuss... I'm a virgin... I'm christian and have an amazing relationship with God. But recently I struck up a friendship w...
A. 21 November 2007: look you seem to be mature for your age, and having good Christian morals and values has helped you to really assess the situation rather than simply jump into it and do something foolish...
how did you two meet?
what types of things did you do b... (read in full...)
Is he just showing he cares?
Q. Im friends with this guy, weve know each other a while now, only he keeps putting his arms around my stomache n stuff like that and he keeps constantly hugging me. I dont mind him doing it but does he want to go further than friends or is he just ...
A. 25 October 2007: it depends alot on his body language when he's doing it, and in what situation he's doing it. i have a lot of guy friends who will do that to me but its more when we are just rough housing and play fighting...we beat each other up a fair bit ... (read in full...)
What size do boys like
Q. do boys like size 6s or 4s? (English sizes) or do they prefer 10s and 12s? maybe 8s? Skinny or curvy? Wat is sexier? ...
A. 25 October 2007: look a common miss perception is the thinner the better.
i play on a guys sports team and so 95% of my close friends are male...from my experience with them 9 times out of ten a guy would rather date a girl with some curves than a girl who is unnn... (read in full...)
I want to meet him, but I also want to do the right thing.
Q. Dear cupid I am 29 and I met a really cute, sensitive and ravishing guy who said he was 18 online. We exchanged pics, spoke on the phone and chatted on Msn a lot. Then we planned to meet up next Sunday, and he suggested we could go for a walk in...
A. 25 October 2007: well i reckon that regardless of age or any other variable meeting in a seccluded place for a first date is ALWAYS a bad idea. he may very well be a great guy but the reality is until you have gotten to know him A LOT better it's just not a smart ... (read in full...)
He argues with me, just because. Will our counselling be a waste of time?
Q. So I'm with a 32 yr old and I'm 26...when we met we got along sooo well. Then we moved in and found out he gets bothered by the toilet tissue being downside or if something is laying there for more than 20 min, etc. He has a really bad temper and ...
A. 19 October 2007: i have to dissagree with rcn on this one.
it sounds like he may have OCD.
one of my closest friends has OCD and has to have little things her way...for example we will be watching tv and i will turn the volume up and if it is lets say at 15 she w... (read in full...)
I have to make a decision between these two countries, both achievable financially. It will affect my future, so how do I decide?
Q. Hi - not sure if anyone can help with a decision of the heart or head as I need to make a decision on whether to move to Seattle, WA (USA) or Melbourne, Australia. There are plus and minus aspects to both but I just cannot decide and have spent ...
A. 16 October 2007: Hey! well i am a canadian and i moved to a suburb of melbourne just over a year ago. I absolutely LOVE australia. the price of living here is MUCH higher, however...small things you wouldn't think of like produce, bottled water, etc cost MUCH ... (read in full...)
I fancy my teacher! Any advice?
Q. i really fancy my teacher. sometimes i think he like my and sometimes i dont. its hard, when he cmes over 2 help me in class and stares into my eyes...i just...go mad inside!!! i catch him staring at me sometimes but i know hes nt a perv, hes 29 and ...
A. 9 October 2007: sweety i know exactly what you are going through. the bit at the end about listening to his favourite songs and crying...i have been there. a while ago but i remember it like yesterday...and i know for every person who told me it wouldn't work i ... (read in full...)
I have pain in my hip and stomache. Any idea what it could be?
Q. hey for the past 3 days ive had really bad pains by my right hip and stomach and they wont go does anyone have any ideas what it could be ...
A. 9 October 2007: good for you for going to your doctor!
i know i felt exactly that when i had my appendix removed a few years ago they told me repeatedly i didn't have appendicitis! i went through several ultra sounds, blood tests, the works! what they can do is p... (read in full...)
Losing my virginity (next Saturday) what should I expect?
Q. Im losing my virginity next saturday with my long term partner. We have everything ready. My mates hosue will be free so we're using hers. She said she'd leave the master bedroom done up perfect for us like silk sheets, dimmer lights, oils, slow son...
A. 9 October 2007: Just be sure you are really ready!!
make sure you are safe (i can't stress this enough...use a condom)
and understand that the first time usually doesn't feel so amazing and is a fair bit painful...not to scare you though!... (read in full...)
He's torn between his mother and me. What do I do?
Q. hey guys/gals. any advice would be appreciated. my fellas family are just driving me mad! ive been with my boyf for nearly 4 yrs now, both come to a point where we would like to get engaged and married. HOWEVER, his mom is just being a pain in the ...
A. 9 October 2007: is this woman reasonable when it comes to at least talking and spending time with you at all?
if so why not take her to lunch?
try to explain that you understand that he will always be her baby even when he has his own, but you love him and want... (read in full...)
Should I keep loving him or forget him?
Q. man ok see theres this guy and i am totally in love with him. We did go out before we were together for about 4 months and then he listened to a bunch of rumors and thought that i was cheating on him so he broke up with me i pleaded for him to take ...
A. 9 October 2007: sweety this boy obviously does not respect you or treat you well, and i think you know that.
you are young and should enjoy your life not tie yourself down to partners who will just hurt you! take what you have learned from this relationship and ... (read in full...)
He began watching porn, then doesn't want sex at all, what's going on?
Q. hello everybody i am confused about something but i will try my best to be brief in this note i have been with this man for seven years and it has not all been smooth sailing but it has been lovely for the most part, we have been very dedicate...
A. 9 October 2007: It may not seam like something worth considering at first, but your boyfriend may have a serious addiction.
much like drugs and alcohol, porn can give an outlet for people to escape reality. He maybe started off watching it occasionally, which is o... (read in full...)
I have a new partner, we want to live together, but because of her pension we can't.
Q. i have met a new partner we have been seeing each other for 6 weeks we get along extremely well we are both aquarians the idea of living together in the future came up and she has straight out said that due to her pension if we were to move in she ...
A. 9 October 2007: As complicated as the situation is, you both seam to love eachother very much which is wonderful!
at 6 weeks however, you are at a very early point in a relationship to make a step such as living together-especially when there is a dependant chil... (read in full...)
Someone who abused me transfered to my college and is starting again.
Q. i am 16 years old with a boyfriend of 18 and we are very much in love. i have clinical depression (external) and my boyfriend is a great support for me , i was bullied all the way through highschool and they made my life even more of a misery than ...
A. 9 October 2007: everyone else's advice seems excellent so far
the only other thing i would suggest is to talk to a counsillor at school. This girl likely has problems herself and is trying to seam cool or powerful to her friends. explain the situation and ask ... (read in full...)
How could he love me and move on so fast, when I'm still trying to pick up the pieces??
Q. I am a 21 yr old college student attending same school as my ex BF We dated for 3 years but I broke things off this summer because I was not happy with the lack of effort he put into our relationship. He was very upset; even wrote a long letter to ...
A. 9 October 2007: Men are interesting to say the least.
although your ex may have been very much in love with you, and likely still cares very deeply for you, he is doing this to move on with his life.
women often tend to live in the past for a while after a relati... (read in full...)
He's verbally abusive but I love him
Q. Dear Cupid, You really got it wrong this time. I just broke up with my boyfriend of one year and am going through some hard times. I really love him, but after struggling for this whole time we were together I finally see the part of him I could n...
A. 9 October 2007: The harsh reality of life is that not every relationship will work-as hard as we may try to help it along the way.
any relationship's ending is hard-whether it be a friendship, a romantic relationship, or otherwise. The best thing you can do f... (read in full...)
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