A
male
age
51-59,
*raigb
writes:i have met a new partner we have been seeing each other for 6 weeks we get along extremely well we are both aquarians the idea of living together in the future came up and she has straight out said that due to her pension if we were to move in she would lose that and be dependant on my wage she said that we could not live together but she loves me and wants to be together forever she was talking about marriage and telling and showing wedding dress designs she came up i do love her and could spend the rest of my life with her she also has an auto imune disease and went for tests and they found her heart to be enlarged and is having ecg,s everyday for the next 2 weeks her daughter also has a disease and is slightly retarted and can only be fed through a tube going through her nose in to stomach as she has severe siezuires with normal food all that i accept and i am there for her but my head says to go but my heart says to stay but the thought of never living in the future with her i am very confused as to what to do any advise would be a great help thank u
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male
reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (9 October 2007):
 Too soon to be thinking about this, HOWEVER, unless you live in a Home, and are just in apartments, you might try living in apartment right next to each other or across the hall from each other.
She is right to worry about her pension. It is not just her she needs to worry about. It is her daughter too. I do not know how pensions work, but it sounds plausible. The fact is your relationship may not last a few months so why should she risk giving up her pension at all?...the fact you had the slightest doubt of "head says go" is a red flag. Focus on building the relationship, and ease up the pressure you are putting on her.
-Frank B KErmit
A
male
reader, Tommy7  +, writes (9 October 2007):
I think you are moving way too fast. 6 weeks is to short of a time to think of making the kind of decisions you are contemplating.
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A
female
reader, this_years_love +, writes (9 October 2007):
 As complicated as the situation is, you both seam to love eachother very much which is wonderful!
at 6 weeks however, you are at a very early point in a relationship to make a step such as living together-especially when there is a dependant child involved. Consider that living together is not the only way to become closer to somebody...i would suggest that you two spend a lot of time together and just enjoy the wonder of your new love before jumping ahead to worrying about who will take the trash out and cook meals and such-these things may not seam like a big hurdle right now, but can easily tear a new relationship apart. Living with somebody changes everything(i know from experience), so i would suggest that you stay in the relationship, stay close, spend time together and get to know eachother for a longer period of time (a few more months minimum) before you consider whether you want to commit to moving in and accepting all of the reprocutions that come from that.
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