A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hiy,i have been with my boyfriend for 1 year now and he has started going out with his friends in the evening once in a while,it annoys me because i dont ever go out with any friends of mine, and he didnt go out for the first 7-8 months .. it bothers me why he cant invite me too. it just makes me mad, is this silly? please help? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2007): on the good side, he's independent and has a social life apart from you.
on the bad side, he could be out looking for someone else.
schedule times to go out with YOUR friends on these nites! why not?!
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2007): I had one relationship crash due to the girl being clingy and jealous about me spending time out with the mates - and I don't even mean partying, just gaming, talking, drinking at their place...
Guys need their time alone every now and then - Ask yourself what he'd want to do if he were single? Now, aside other women, would you want to prohibit him from doing that stuff he wants to, just because you are in a relationship?
Get used to the idea that he wants to have time alone, or he just might figure out that he wants to have a lot more time alone, if that's the only solution to get even little.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2007): Don't worry about it! Why don't you have some nights when you go out with your friends. Just because you're dating someone doesn't mean that you have to spend everysingle moment with them.
Relax, chill! Let him go out with his friends. If you are that bothered then ask him whether you can come sometimes, but to honest with you, you shouldn't be bothered. x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 November 2007): Its normal for guys and girls to want to go out with their friends every now and then independantly of their boy/girl friends.... I'm with my boyf 2 years and if he wants to go out with his friends I don't have a problem with that either. Its good to be able to go out every now and then on your own with your friends - be it the girls or the boys!! There's nothing wrong with it!!!
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A
male
reader, chlez83  +, writes (23 November 2007):
I know you expect to do alot of things together,including going out but that i can assure you would bring problems to your relationship.Allow him to hang out with his mates and you do the same.It'll also help you get your mind off him for a good while.Really.it's not silly to feel that way but it will be if you allow it to control you.Tell him how you feel but don't sound possesive or demanding,guys hate it.Make plans for both of you to go out just the two of you or in a group and table it with him.All in all give him space,live your life but both of you need to reach a compromise about going out.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 November 2007): You're completely unjustified. I think you should try to build up your relationships with your female friends so you aren't alone when he's not around. Stop trying to monopolize the poor man's life.
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A
female
reader, this_years_love  +, writes (22 November 2007):
 hey darllook at it this wayif you had a chick flick night with your best friends and just wanted to pig out on chocolate or whatever and swoon over orlando bloom would you want him around?guys need their time together without girls there the same as girls want theyre nights out with just the ladies..it will do y'alls relationship a heap of good to have a bit of time apart from eachother now and then anyway...that way you don't feel smothered.guys nights are guys nights and thats it...they should stay that way the same as girls nights should stay girls nights. you need to start spending more time with your friends and stop worrying about him having some time to himself-i assure you its healthy to be away from eachother now and then.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 November 2007): Why are you annoyed because you never go out with your friends? That's not his fault.
I think it's perfectly acceptable that he should want to go out without you every once in a while. Just because he's in a relationship with you does not mean he has to spend every night of the week with you and neglect his friendships. Maybe he got sick of not seeing his friends for those 7-8 months and decided to do something about it.
You don't really have the right to be annoyed at that.
You should go out with your own friends every once in a while, that way your social life actually extends beyond your boyfriend.
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A
female
reader, x_goddess_x +, writes (22 November 2007):
 he might need some chill out time with his mates because i bet there r things they talk about and chat about tht ud be like ewwww to plus ya dnt need to be with him all the time and he only goes out now and then you go out with ur mates
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A
female
reader, love-him +, writes (22 November 2007):
 Hey babe, you are so like me :) i didnt go out with my friends for the first year :( and if he is going out, why dont you with your friends, or ask him if you can go too.. I hope i helped, mail me if you would like to talk x
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A
female
reader, just-ask-xx +, writes (22 November 2007):
 It's not silly, maybe he just wants to be a guy without any worries because there's a female there. Guys are like that!! =D I suggest that you have a night with 'the girls' and also a night with all of your friends and his friends too, even if it's just a trip to the cinema.
I hope this has helped, and I hope you stay with your boyfriend for a lot longer.
love just-ask-xx
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A
female
reader, Gemini1506 +, writes (22 November 2007):
I reckon instead of being hung up on the fact he doesn't invite you out. Suggest it yourself. Or meet up with some girlfriends and invite him along and tell him to bring his mates. He should get the idea that he should start inviting you out more
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