A
male
age
41-50,
*uyguy1
writes:Dear cupidI am 29 and I met a really cute, sensitive and ravishing guy who said he was 18 online. We exchanged pics, spoke on the phone and chatted on Msn a lot. Then we planned to meet up next Sunday, and he suggested we could go for a walk in a 'lonely' field near his house. I was very excited as he sounded and looked just right. Then in the last chat I had with him he dropped a bombshell. He said he was not really 18, but he was 17. He said he would turn 18 in December this year. I am now totally confused. Will I break the law if I meet him and take him to the fields where for all intentions, we may end up doing kissing, for instance? And am I breaking the law if I continue to chat to him on the internet? I am confused - wish he had told me he was not 18, and I am now finding it hard to get him out of my mind, as I do so want to meet him, but also want to do the right thing - that is I do not wish to break any law, or take advantage of his age. Please help.
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2007): You need to meet in a public place for the first time, say Macdonalds or a cafe. Please do not meet in a field! What are you a pair of cattle? And, i am not happy with the fact that he lied to start with, what else has he lied about? Is he lying about something now? who knows. Be careful and be prepared to walk away, therefore meet in a public place and keep safe.
take care
xx
A
female
reader, this_years_love  +, writes (25 October 2007):
 well i reckon that regardless of age or any other variable meeting in a seccluded place for a first date is ALWAYS a bad idea. he may very well be a great guy but the reality is until you have gotten to know him A LOT better it's just not a smart idea. he could have motives that you may not have thought of-while you may think it might be romantic, he may be planning on getting you in a vulnerable position far away from help-there are many things he could do to you from rape to murder and a lot in between. if you want to meet up, MAKE SURE it is in a safe, open, public location. BE CAREFUL be smart. use common sense don't get wrapped up with romantic feelings and make rash decisions. think this through and make a well educated decision
best of luck
xx
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A
male
reader, dapone 1 +, writes (25 October 2007):
 hi,
if this guy is seventeen then he is at the legal age of consent, you will not be breaking the law, he is accepted as an adult, so you have nothing to worry about on that score.
The thing that does bother me is that he lied to you about his age, i do not want to put you off but, if i were a female, meeting a guy for the first time, i would meet in a crowded place, loads of people about just in case, and not want to go walking in a lonely field, as wonderful as it may sound.
I have read lots of terrible things that can happen to people who meet other people on the net, and would be very cautious when meeting people from this media, thats why i suggest a crowded place to meet, for your own safety.
Why not ask him for a change of venue, if his response is negative, the best course of action would be not to go at all and block him from MSN, another word of caution if he is not there and a man or a woman comes up to you saying he has been held up and ask them to pick you up, the best thing you can do is get out of the situation altogether,run away and go straight home or a place of safety with friends, but if he does decide to meet you in a crowded place by himself and you have a great day out together then that will be OK, but i would still get to know him well before you go to a deserted area alone with him for your own sake.
hope this helps.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2007): Well, you obviously lie about your age as well. It says you are 30-35 years old, and you said you are 29..so what's the difference? I think you're too old to be messing around with a 17 year old. But if it is legal in your country,(here in the u.s. it's 18) and you know it's just going to be a fling, go for it. But like the other person said, meet him in a public place 1st. It concerns me that he wants to meet you in some "lonely" field somewhere. He could be a freak, like a homophobic man trying to kill you or something. You never know. And use a condom, every time, no acceptions..I would ask to see his ID too because what if he is lieing and he's really an older looking 15? Then you'd get into some trouble. Just take these precautions..and it should be o.k.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2007): Hi,
I think that a) You need to be careful. There are a lot of crazies out there and for him to want to meet you in a lonely field is kind of dangerous for you (yes he's sent you pics and all that jazz, but there are some talented people out there that are good with tricking people). so i would probably want to meet in a public place (especially to start off iwth), and then if you feel safe and aren't worried that you're going to get 'charged' or something like that then go for a walk, but keep ur guard up ok!!! stay safe!
b) I was in a relationship with someone 10 years my senior and eventually i just realized that the things he would want i wouldn't want yet. I wanted to go out and party and he was ready for kids and a house. i wanted to go travel and he'd done that ages ago. I don't think that it can work, but there are lots of success stories about age differences.
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