A
female
age
36-40,
*elaney
writes:Hi allHave a bit of an unusual question but here goes -I am a published fiction writer in the UK, and am in the early stages of writing a book about a teacher/pupil relationship. I have been reading through stories on this site and others like it, and would be extremely grateful if those of you affected by feelings or relationships with teachers could private message me your stories, or post them in reply to this question as part of my research. I will not use any names or any exact details of your situations, I simply need to learn more about the thoughts and feelings of especially the students in these situations. Best wishes,Delaney. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 July 2010): I had a relationship with a science teacher at my secondary school. We are still together now, 7 years after first meeting and 5 and a half years after our first kiss!My secondary school was in the south of England, in the suburbs of one of the large cities. In the county league tables it was mid ranking, so is far from perfect with issues ranging from pupil motivation levels, behaviour issues and poor staff retention. The school did have a few key redeeming features, most notably a strong bond between students, that often lasted long after leaving school.In Year 9 (aged 14) I had a student science teacher take my class for the spring and easter terms. I had always liked science at primary school, but due to too many bad supply teachers or regular teachers who would stay only long enough so as to secure a reference for a better job else where I had lost interest and motivation. This new student teacher, aged 22 at the time, changed everything for myself and the whole class. He worked under our regular teacher, Mr Smith, who was actually a really good teacher - close to retirement but we had given him a hard time simply because as a class we had become disaffected with school. I think Mr Smith was also a lucky break for this new teacher, being old school his philosophy was "what ever worked". I think had our student teacher been mentored by a more modern younger career type, as liked by government inspectors, he may not of been so confident to inspire us all, in the way he did.This student teacher had recently finished a biology degree and was really keen on dissection and freakish stories about what weird parasites can do to you. Totally off syllabus but his lessons seemed to capture the imagination of the whole class. Even some of the boys who "hated school" often bunking science lessons, suddenly wanted to come along. In the minds of us girls, some of the young male PE teachers were "fitter" in the traditional sense of the word, but this young science teacher 5'9" blonde hair, blue eyes, who obviously who used a gym lots and kept himself in shape, had an amazing sense of humour and was just so kind. Quite a few of my class fancied him, or certainly liked him in a way you like a big brother or member of the family. We all worked for him, we all wanted to do our best for him. I however, very much fell in love with him. Looking back the moment he walked into S9 (our science lab) I felt something I never had felt before, or will ever feel again. As a 14 year old, I was becoming aware of my body - and this student teacher was always very professional, but that didn't stop me taking the opportunity to brush myself against him if I could, or stay behind at the end of a lesson to ask him questions. I had a group of girlfriends that together we would always try and talk to him if he was on duty in the playground. He volunteered to help the cross country team, of which I was a member. I vividly remember the time we had a cross country competition and he was in the back of the minibus with the students (the other two teachers in the front) and I sat next to him. Both of us in shorts, his bare legs against mine, It felt electric. He was a popular teacher, he took some year 9 and year 10 classes during his training - I think 99% of the students through he was great. He use to joke about with the boys, playing practical jokes on some of the naughtier ones so as to win them around. I know my close friends knew I fancied him, but in the mix is was a very private thing. When he finished his teaching practice part of his PGCE, half way through the summer term and told us he would be leaving the school, the collective cry from the class was was substantial. I myself, nearly burst into tears. Every day I had come to school, positive and motivated. Just seeing my favourite teacher enter or leave the staff room, walk down the corridor or even hear other teachers or student mention his name would send my heart beating. This was a dark, day - how could this happen? (Little did I know that this was how teachers were trained, and he had to go back to University to complete some assignments). The next day at school, he wasn't there anymore - gone! I bunked school and went home and cried, like I had never done before. I had had a few "boyfriends" before, and the breakups had been hard, but this was an emotional fall of everest proportions. He wasn't even a boyfriend, he was just one of my teachers. I stopped doing my school work, lost motivation, stopped eating - even to the point of my mother noticing. My mother eventually coaxed out of me what was wrong and I told he exactly what I felt. Surprisingly, my mother was really understanding about it. She even managed to say, "well he can't be that much older than you, your father is 9 years older than me, it's not that strange, maybe your paths will cross again, maybe they won't" We talked and talked, and my mother let me own my feelings and not feel embarrassed about them. I am so glad she listen to me a spoke with me like that. For the next few weeks, I managed to hold my emotion, but so as to be positive about my true love, I took every opportunity to get myself close to him by reading science books and watching science TV shows that I am sure he would have been watching. I did find out later that he preferred western movies, anything with Clint Eastwood in, rather than David Attenborough natural history documentaries. Had I know, I would have been watching western movies too!That summer we had a science/geography/leisure and tourism field trip to North Wales. Nearly thirty percent of my year group were going, about 90 students in total. For such a trip there would be a need for quite a few teachers. I didn't realise it at the time, but that student science teacher was also a qualified Mountain Leader and outdoors enthusiast. The school had asked him to help out!It was during this 10 day field trip that I really got to talk to this teacher and I got the slightest of hints that any feeling wasn't just one way. On the climb up Mt Snowdon, my favourite teacher was the group back marker. I let myself fall back so that I could talk to him the whole way. He was such a gentleman and held my hand over styles and gave me the confidence to try some of the trickier rock scrambles. All the students on this trip loved talking to this teacher and I think the other staff really appreciated that he had a way with everyone. If he asked, even the naughtiest boys to stop mucking about they generally would oblige. He just commanded such respect. There was also another fit young male PE teacher on the trip as well as 5 other older teachers. This PE teacher was also really popular with everyone, many girls fancied him too. In a way I think the other teachers were perhaps most concerned, if there was any concern, about the PE teacher. The young science teacher, who was often talking about different species of birds and animals and looking for fossils, perhaps came across as too sensible to raise concerns.On our last evening of the field trip we had a big barbecue and students were allowed to stay up late and party. We could also go for walks around the local area, so long as we stayed together on paths. The science teacher decided to form a small group to go off to look for bats later at dusk, so myself and 2 other students (my best girlfriend and a boy from our class) decided joined him. We went looking for barbastelle bats, which occupy the ecological niche that swallows do in the day time, notably over rivers and bodys of water, catching the insects that fly there. This walk alongside the stream into the woods was romantic, to say the least. At several points we crossed small streams using stepping stones. This gave me an opportunity to hold the hands of my true love quite a few times as he helped me across. We had flashlights and two bat-detectors so we could form 2 groups of two. I stayed with the teacher, the other two - who seemed to forming a relationship of their own, were happy to fan out. There was a full moon that evening, with just the sound of the stream and the gentle rustle of the trees it was a beautiful night. I spoke to the teacher about his plans and found out he would be taking a year out to travel. I was excited for him, with his plans of visiting China, Chile, Russia and Japan. On the other hand I was scared I would never see him again. I told him then, that we was the best teacher ever and he must come back to teach me. I told also him he was my favourite person. He told me I was his favourite student because I asked lost of questions, and sometimes argued with him! The coach trip back to school was long. Luckily I got to sit next to my true love and he had an iPod (real luxury back in 2003!) with double headphones. I listened to his music all the way back. The songs, on that iPod have in effect become the soundtrack to me life. During the last evening I had managed to tell as many other students as possible about the teachers plans for travel. Just before the bus we were on, got back, not sure how it happened, the whole group of students started chanting "we want Sir, we want Sir!" Making it totally obvious that my year group wanted him as our teacher! At school, when I got off the bus, I was met by my father. I insisted we waited until the teachers had finished supervising the unpacking of the busses and seeing the students on their way. I took the opportunity to introduce my father to my favourite teacher. I couldn't be sure my mother had told my father what I had told her, but either way my father instantly took a like to him. My father said nothing when I went to hug my teacher goodbye. I think there was a tear in his eye too. Totally unprofessionally, my teacher gave me his iPod, said he wouldn't need it on his travels. Teachers aren't supposed to give students presents, but he made it kind of OK by saying that I was to use it to download and listen to sciency podcasts! I asked him again to come back, to our school he said he would try. We said goodbye and as he walked towards his car, I watched through the tears in my eyes. I went back with my father, he didn't say a word, nor did I. It was the loneliest walk of my life.On the last day of the holiday I was shopping in town with my mother and providence may have it, my favourite teacher was also in town. He was in the Boots store stocking up on stuff for his travels. He looked gorgeous in his travel shorts, with stubble and muscles. I introduced him to my mum and they had a chat about school and where he was travelling to. I will love my mum forever for this: she suggested we swap email addresses so we could stay in touch. That we did. We exchanged quite a few emails, he sent me photos by email of really wonderful places (this also helped move my Geography predicted grade form a B to an A*). We spoke on Skype twice, once when he was in Australia and once when he was Chile. On my birthday, he sent a kimono, fan, chocolates and other souvenirs from Japan. This wasn't total favouritism - the whole class got a postcard from all his destinations (the tutor group notice-board looked pretty amazing by the end) and at least two parcels of souvenirs. Awesome teacher. I am not sure, even now if this was done to surprise me or out of professionalism, my true love hadn't told me he would be back at my school for my Year 11 so as to do his NQT year. Fortuity had it, that not only was he to be my science teacher for 6 lessons a week but he was also my form tutor!!! Year 10, had been boring at school, I had worked hard because I had promised I would, but there was no real passion. Too many temporary teachers, who didn't connect with the kids. I think it fortuitous, perhaps even for many in the year group, that he returned. I hadn't taken too much care in the morning of the first day of that term, I wasn't expecting anyone to impress, my makeup was functional. To have my true love waiting for us at the start of tutor period on the first day - he was wearing a brand new suit, looked very smart - yet had not necessarily aged, looked wider, worldly, very sexy, authoritative. If I could have, I would have grabbed him, kissed him, given my body to him there and then. I wanted to - instinctive, but I just shyly smiled at him as I walked through the door. Science lessons were fun, we all learn't lots. My true love, was due to inexperience, probably not technically the best teacher in the school, for his style was really quirky - he did hold students attention through interest. We did more practicals that we had ever done before, friends with other teachers seemed to do far less. His charm was that he respected us all, trusted us to learn by exploring. He set us lots of work, stuff to learn, mini tests, presentations to prepare. For me it was a labour of love. For the rest of the class, even the laziest boys, wanted to be praised by this man. On his trips he had taken thousands upon thousands of photos, pictures that he used in his lessons. Snakes in Australia, scorpions in Africa, plants from Japan and always pictures of something crazy he had seen for fun. Tutor time was good too, much less serious than other tutors groups. Best of all, my favourite teacher stayed late after school every day to help any student who wanted help with science (or any subject). Many from our tutor group took advantage of this, including myself. It was often during this informal sessions in the afternoons and early evenings that I really understood again why I loved this man, in a way that I was certain no other year 11 girl could understand. Often it was just myself and maybe another student or two. This extra help we got, allowed myself and many other student to push grades to their potential and beyond. If there was a crazy or even rude way to remember something, this teacher would know it. As the autumn term progressed my true love would confide in me during our after school study sessions, nothing personal, but professional things. He explained the stress he was under trying to finish his NQT year. He explained that when there was another teacher in the room he was being observed, like a driving test. He had passed all theses assessments with our class but was worried about a Yr. 8 class he was taking, due to the behaviour issues in the class. It was quite apparent the Principle of the school liked this teacher, he was popular with the kids, thus popular with the parents… The Head of Science, however, was a late 30's very officious lady. Maybe she had originally fancied my true love, but it was apparent she did think highly of him now. She was insiting he be formally observed with the behaviourally hardest kids in the school. The head of science didn't like his style, wanted him to use more government approved methods (which in my opinion meant boring lessons). When I understood the implications, that should my true love fail 2 lesson observation his chances of staying with us for the most important year of our school lives would be diminished. Not least that it would be hard to see the man I loved, I had to act. Together with some friends, their siblings, from across the school in many year groups, we schemed. How could we get those year 8's to be as good as gold for our teacher? I had one very promiscuous friend of mine in year 11 offer to sleep with the boys, should they tow the line, to some of the boys suggesting offering them free cigarettes and booze to help out! In the end we organised that the class of year 8's (who behaved more like a street gang outside school) would meet us at a recreation group near the school one evening. The toughest year 11's, myself and some others gave them a pep talk. A deal was struck, if year 11 heard that I was happy with that year 8 class, they would be given "privileges" in school by year 11, as would they if they gave the head of science hell in her lessons with them. Should the counter be true, then Yr. 11 would find reasons to make their stay at school and in the areas around town where they liked to hang out, hell. Simple; carrot and stick. In late November of that year, I spoke with my true love at one of the after school revisions sessions in his lab and we discussed the year 8's. He couldn't understand how all of a student they had become putty in his hands. Their books were exemplary, most did their homework, yet for other subjects they did none and he had been observed by the Principle and County Inspector with them and had passed with flying colours. I let it slip, some of our scheme. The look, my favourite teacher gave me, I will remember for the rest of my life. After this, my favourite teacher became year 11's favourite teacher, and we were his favourite kids. One and the same. Teacher and students, when it is like that it is almost a sacred relationship. At Christmas, we were separated. I gave my true love a christmas card on the last day of term and CD with my favourite tracks on it. He gave both the tutor group and the whole class a small box of sweets each. I hadn't been forgotten, I was given a small parcel, obviously a book. It turned out to be Jostein Gaarder's "Sophie’s World" - it really got me thinking about knowledge and how we look at the world. It remains one of my favourite books to this day. I had been first kissed by a boy when I was in Yr. 8. Nothing memorable, more he grabbed me and thrust his tongue into my mouth. In the early part of Yr. 9, I had been to a few parties with friends at boys houses and had been kissed with boys trying to put their hands down my top and elsewhere. One two occasions during years 8 and 9 I had had relationships with a few boys that had lasted a few weeks. Usually just meant they had exclusive rights to grope me at house parties! I had often fancied boys, often ones older than myself, but this fancying would come and go. I guess even in Year 8, I had realised what many of my peers were doing, wasn't reality for me, my heart wasn't in it. Seeing that student teacher just after Christmas in Yr. 9 changed everything. My dreams, every night, became intimate, passionate, emotional. In my heart, he was always with me. There could be no-one else. My 16th birthday was in late January. My parents wanted me to have a large party, to celebrate the special occasion. Of-course, if there was to be a guest list of only one, I knew who exactly that would be! I openly discussed this with my mother, who helpfully suggested we ask all my close friends from Yr. 11, together with some of the most popular young teachers from the school. She would of-course, make this above board and get the Principle's consent. In the end I had my true love, one of the male PE NQT's, a female NQT from geography a female music teacher and about 70 or so of my best friends form Yr. 11. We used the village hall, with disco, food, games and every one in fancy dress. I understood the teachers would probably spend some talking with my parents and the other adults, but also with us. I danced a bit with the PE NQT and as much as I could with my true love. I did my best to not make it obvious, but I made sure his hand touched my breasts at least once and hold my bottom quite a few times. During the slow dances I held him close, I was starting to feel 16. Back at school, my emotions were getting too much. Sometimes it felt like I was playing baseball, sending my feelings out, getting no return. I needed tennis, love set and match. Most of Yr. 11, would have not said a thing if I had been overtly seeing that teacher. Most of the guys by now considered him a friend first, their teacher second. The girls all thought he was lovely. He was one of us. I did realise that maybe I should continue to be discreet with expressing my feelings publicly but somehow I needed to get the direct message to my science teacher, how exactly I felt about him. I spoke with my best girlfriend, who was in my tutor group but had a different, less awesome, science teacher. I got her to speak to him directly, act as the messenger. She did, but the result was not what I wanted to hear. The message I got back that he was flattered, but couldn't and didn't want to be with me. My world went black.Maybe as revenge, maybe out of madness, the following week, the first time since I was in Yr. 9 I went on date with a boy. I went to town with a guy from college ( a year older than me) who had gone to the neighbouring school. He was a friend of a friends brother. I enjoyed the film, I enjoyed talking. We kissed, which initially was OK, but when his hands started to wander and he tried to place my hands where he wanted them, I jolted. This was certainly not where I wanted to be, I need to be honest with myself. Had my dreams of the past two years meant nothing? Hurting this guys feelings, maybe, I had to leave quickly and end that relationship before it had even started. I would try directness this time, with no messenger, I would say what needed to be said. The following day was a Friday. Revisions session on Fridays, as could be expected were not well attended. I would be alone. As my true love marked books, I spoke with him. I told him about the previous night, what had happened - not expressing my feelings yet - I wanted to see his reaction. Nothing was said, but I could tell in his eyes, I am sure I could, of perhaps a pang of jealousy or was it that he just wanted to protect me? I asked him what did he feel. He didn't answer. He just explained that because he was a teacher, in a position of trust, even if I was 16 it was illegal with the threat of imprisonment, for him to have any type of non professional relationship with me. It would be borderline legal if he was at a different school, more acceptable if he wasn't a teacher at all. He didn't want to go to jail and he wanted to be around to see Yr. 11 get their GCSE's. He did agree that we needed to talk about this, but felt school wasn't the right place. He said I could join him hiking the following afternoon if I wanted. He gave me a time and a place to be, I promised I would be there. When I got home, I spoke with my mother. She felt his words about the law and responsibility were correct. She felt he was a gentleman, very professional, she felt many weaker teachers, perhaps suggesting the NQT PE teacher that was at my party would probably not be so hesitant towards a direct invitation like I had been giving. She felt it was something I should be grateful for, that I should be prepared to wait. It would only be 6 months more before I had my GCSE results and was no longer his student. True as it maybe, I wanted him so badly, now. My mother gave her blessing to me meeting him on the hike, indeed, she would give me a lift there. There is large oak tree on the village green in the neighbouring village, it was under here that I was to wait. I was dropped off a few minutes early, so from under that great tree I could watch my true love walk down across the neighbouring hill, towards the village and towards me. When he arrived I ran to him, put my arms around him and hugged him. We then walked westward towards the woodland on the next hill, saying little as we walked. After about an hours brisk walk we arrived at the footpath that leads along the river. Despite it being a saturday, on a clear day in mid February, there were few people about. The path led into some wooded land beside the river, a secluded spot, bound by nature and the serene stillness of that English chalk stream. It was here that we stopped on a park bench, set into the bank at the edge of the river. The seat was dedicated to an Arthur and Rose, who had passed away some thirty years before with their epitaph simply stating that time and tide await no one.I told, my teacher, in my own words that since Yr. 9, the moment I saw him, all I could hold in my heart was him. I told him that I might be young, but at 16 I was sure this was what I felt and I was sure this was a feeling that time wouldn't change. He stated that when taking my Yr. 9 class he had picked me out as special, there being something connecting us, but had done nothing because he felt it was untimely to act. We held hands, with tears welling in my eyes due to emotion I hugged him. I told him I loved him and that I always would. We kissed. I have always regard this as my first proper kiss. It was intoxicating, every part of my nervous system tingled, my heart raced. It was perfect. I can still taste that moment now, his breath, his scent, the texture of his checks against mine. It must have been a good hour we spent, in the tranquility of that afternoon holding, caressing, kissing. We walked on for another two hours, towards another rustic southern English village and into a back street lined with small Victorian terraced houses. This is where he lived, it was smaller and cosier than my parents house but inviting nonetheless. Inside his house, the lounge had all the toys of a single male: large TV, piles of DVD's, piles of books and magazines, radio controlled cars, game consoles. The dining room had piles of school science exercise books, including mine! The kitchen was simple, not messy, but I was already thinking how I would make it more homely. I guess we both knew what we were doing was right, in the spiritual or human sense of the word. We embraced again, and lowered ourselves onto one of the large couches in the lounge. We kissed more insistently and unlike with my previous experiences it felt natural when my hands started to explore his body, and his began to explore mine. We undressed, slowly - I had no embarrassment, it felt totally natural. With his lips and fingers he bought me to orgasm, the biggest of my life, thus far - sensations I never knew were possible. I kissed him all over, he was, like me, totally naked, there was nowhere I didn't kiss and caress. This was very much a first time for me, but it was lead by passion. I took him into my mouth, and he climaxed there and I swallowed without a second thought. Having listened to some of the conversations of my friends in Yr. 11, I knew lots of things even if I hadn't tried them for myself. This wasn't a physical experience, however, it was more emotional, metaphysical. The collision of two souls.As we relaxed in our mutual post orgasm repose, we talked. We discussed sex, I wanted to do it there and then, but he suggested we wait. I think he must have gathered, without me saying anything, that I was still technically a virgin. He felt it was something you only lost once and we had plenty of time and we should make it ultra special when it did happen. We also discussed how we should be. He told me, we mustn't get caught and it had to remain a secret for another 5 months. I swore not to tell anyone about this. Since I did appreciate the risks he was going to and that I had waiting all my early teens for this moment, to have it and hold it like this was, it felt romantic. We spoke about how at school he must still be the teacher, and we would have to find imaginary or secretive ways of expressing our love in public. For a moment, this covert love seemed a challenge, when compared to some of my class mates who spend every break time and some lesson time holding hands with their other half. Thinking about it there as I rested my head on his muscly chest, the furtive messages would actually be a lot of fun.We took a shower together, and ate some food, then he drove me home. I invited him to speak with my parents, hesitant at first he relented. Over tea and cakes we talked about our walk and his collection of western DVD's (something he instantly had in common with my father) and school. Of course we didn't mention what we did on the couch, but we didn't need to; It was our moment in time. After my true love had left my mother and father both said what a lucky person I was. Later that evening my mother suggested she make an appointment for me to see the doctor, now that I was 16 and getting more independant I should be on the pill. At school, with 3 months until the commencement of the GCSE's final exams all of Yr. 11 were working hard. On Friday and Saturdays I would often visit the one I loved. We would go hiking, then I would do my coursework for other subjects while he marked work or planned lessons. I even was taught how to mark exercise books. Not sure some of my friends would be pleased that I had first marked their work! We ate together, watch TV, played games, and got naked together. At school we found fun ways of letting each other know about our love. Sometimes we would have matching socks, or he would in my lesson use alternate colours of whiteboard pen for the letters in the lesson title, or try and mention the Great White Shark 13 times in a chemistry lesson. Only I knew why he was really doing this. I would often try and walk past his lab, even if it meant taking a detour when I went between lessons, we just found fun ways of secretly communicating what we felt. Probably more fun than being overt and letting everyone know. During the Easter vacation, we had GCSE revision camp the first week - to which I went and so did he - more time together. In the second week, we went camping on the Isle of Wight for 4 days. Under the covers of a 3 season sleeping bag, in the mild dampness of early April, we made love for the first time. Waiting had been good, overlooking the beauty of Tennyson down, our bodies merged. For most of those four days we made love. The first time, was like I expected, somewhat painful, thereafter, when we were joined and he filled me with his warmth, I felt complete. I think with the magnetic attraction that was between us, my mother was wise to get me on the pill. Though honestly how I felt then, getting pregnant would not have bothered me. My man had a job, and income a house. I was infinitely better off that some of my girlfriends who had become pregnant by other Yr. 11's. During the exam's in June, I slept at my lovers house the night before each exam. he would give me a lift into school, dropping me off in a side road so we didn't appear together. I was massaged and made love to the night before each paper. I was totally relaxed and prepared. The school prom was fun. We agreed it was the last big get together for all my friends and year group so I should have fun. My lover was also a very popular, teacher for all Yr. 11, it was also his chance to say goodbye to all. We danced and partied as a big group. Our love was still a big secret. By mid August when the exam results were out, we had two bits of good news: he had passed his NQT and I had got 10 A* and 2 B's at GCSE. This was far better than the school was expecting, but many in my lovers tutor group and science classes exceeded expectations. When pupils have the love, of the teacher, and there are many types of love and when the teacher has the love of the pupils great mountains can be moved. My man had inspired many to get C's in the their GCSE science or other subjects when they had been written off in years past. My parents were ecstatic, but had I not found this man in Yr. 9, what personally, would I have got, what would be outlook be?In the September of that year I went to college, to study Biology, Chemistry, Physics and General Studies - with a little prompting from the one I love. He stayed at the school for one more term, so as to consolidate his teaching practise and teach without any helpful Year 11's around who can sort out unruly Yr. 8's. At Christmas he collected his Golden Hello (which paid for, among other things, our Christmas vacation to Paris and Rome) then rejoined the University so as to start a PhD in biological sciences. With a PhD student on hand, to help, my A Level's become good fun. I ended with two A's and two B's which were sufficient for me study medicine. That is where I am now, in the first year of medical school, at one of the top UK universities, living with the man who I have loved since I was nearly 14, who has taught me as a Yr.. 9, Yr.. 11, tutored me as an A Level student. Now I am a medical undergraduate he is even helping me in lab practicals for bioscience modules!I am 20, he is 28 and starting to lose his hair. I love him like no other. We plan to marry next year - I think some of the golden hello from his teaching helped pay for the engagement ring. My parents adore him, his family love me. His PhD best buddy, has a girlfriend eighth years older than him. When we go out as a four, does it really matter in the grand scheme of things? Had the letter of the law of the land intervened, my man could be in prison, my world destroyed and I would most certainly not be where I am now, nor would many of my compatriots form school be achieving as they have been. I suspect the Principle of the school had suspicions, but said nothing because it was private and he was old school. My parents were wise enough to see the virtue in this not the media induced fear. There are most certainly predatory males out there amongst teaching staff, but my man certainly wasn't one of them. I could not imagine life any other way, my story is probably unique but not unusual. There is a story my lover tells me that is apparently a folklore story from Japan, about life partners being connected by strands of red Yr.. string. Most people take a lot to unravel their destiny. How lucky am I, at aged 14 to find mine? I cannot understand how the law of the land, laws of professionalism can even consider trying to stop that beauty? Trust you instincts, trust your heart and be single minded, there is love in the classroom.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 June 2009): Hi!
I am also sixteen and i just finished my first year in high school. I had a gym teacher that was very hot, and everybody had "crushes" on him. It was his first year as a real teacher as well, he is 30 years old. He is very professional, he is very private about his life and he does not like to talk about other stuff than school "projects" because he finds it very inappropriate. I remember one time my friend (who is a lesbian) tried to hug him, because she always hugs the teachers in school and she is very cosy in that way. And he pushed her away and said that it would be very inappropriate if he did that. Anyway he was at first only my gym teacher, but then he said one day that he wasn't going to have us anymore, we were going to have a female gym teacher instead. We all thought like no, because he was a good teacher. Anyway he did not leave the school because it was only a problem with hours because he is a English teacher as well. So for six months we did not have him in any subjects. But we always said hi in the hall, and I had a few moments with him when he was talking with my friends (Who he still has in gymnastics). I've noticing him looking at me in the hallway, and one time I was talking with my current gym teacher, and he has his desk just next to hers. He was looking at my ass. I noticed, and it is really hard to explain because it wasn't just that he was looking, it's the way he was looking. It's like "I wan't You so bad", and of course I don't see a problem with that, you know "Look but don't touch" He was very professional, and he did not ever come up to me to say something, only when I said something to him, that's the only times we used to talk. But then after Christmas, we found out that we were going to have him in English C. So at first I just respected him as a teacher, because English is also my favorite subject. But then with the time I also started to like the way he looked at me, I almost started to tease him with these little stuffs. You know like dressing up in sexy (Not slutty) but sexy clothes only when we were going to have him. When I caught him looking I always throw my hair around little discreet, and touch and stroke my thigh and pull down my shirt just a little bit so that he would see more of my breasts. At first I just liked what I did, but then I realized how I was behaving and I stopped. I felt kind of silly, but I also realized that I liked him more than I first thought. He always asked me how I was doing, and that's something he never asked the other girls and they made it a big deal because I was a "teacher's pet" according to them just because of that. Anyway, he was still very professional and did not ever cross the line. Until one day, it was two weeks left until the summer vacation, and that's like three weeks ago. After months of just flirting and superficial conversations he made a move.The lesson had just finished and everybody ran out of the classroom and I had a lot of papers on my desk so I was slower than the other girls, and after a few minutes it was just me and him. He sat by his desk just watching me, and when I walked toward him to throw the papers he looked away, he seemed bothered and uncomfortable. I asked him what he was going to do that night (It was Friday). He said that he was going to go to a friends house with his girlfriend and he said girlfriend with a bit louder voice, It felt like he did that just to prove that he was taken, or something I don't really know, but I got a strange vibe when he said that. When I was done I was walking towards the door when he said "What are you going to do?" It made me turn around and walk towards his desk instead. I said that I had plans on going to a party but my friend's friends are not the kind of people I wan't to hang out with, so I had not made up my mind yet. He just looked into my eyes and said uh-uh. And then he walked away from the chair to the door, he closed it and looked the door. He turned around and looked at me. He said, "(My name), we both know that something that should not be going on is going on, you are very mature and I feel like we are attracted to each other" I was speechless, so chocked that he said that. But he was right, and I knew it. Then he continued and said; "If I weren't a teacher, and you were a few years older, then it would have been OK, but now it is not OK... we should both know that,(My name)". I was still speechless but finally said; "I know". He smiled and walked to his desk again and said, "Good, now we have worked that one out, just as long we both know nothing can happen it's OK with the rest". I did not really understand completely what he meant. I smiled back and grabbed my purse and began to walk towards the door again. But then I turned around and out of nowhere I said; "You are great, you should know that if you weren't my teacher I would throw myself at you" I don't know why I said that but I did, and that made him once again leave his desk and come up to me and he looked deep into my eyes with a serious face. He said, "We, no there isn't a we.. but we can never happen(My name), so please don't say anything like that again... you only make me wan't it more" Surprised of his words I looked down on the floor. Then I looked up again, into his eyes. I just wanted to kiss him, I liked him a lot and I did find him very attractive. I wanted him, It was like I could not control myself. He seemed nervous and swallowed his saliva over and over again. We just stood there for a couple of minutes, and then he looked away and when our eyes meet again we could not control ourselves. We shared a passionate long kiss, he pulled me against the wall and there we kissed. I hold him tight and he had one of his hands on my back and the other one in my hair pushing me against him. After a few minutes it was like we realized that we had both been living out a "fantasy". We immediately stopped and he could not look into my eyes anymore, he walked around in the classroom and he looked very confused. I was toooo, very confused. Then he said; "OK, Now seriously we can not do this... I was way out of line.. I'm sorry (My name). You should go and we should not talk about this again" I did not say anything, I took my purse and I left the room. When I was walking to my locker I felt like my heart was broken, just as i had realized that I was in love. I had already had a crush on him for almost a year now, and that had turned into real feelings. This was our last English lesson, because the week after we did other kind of activities in school so I did not have him anymore. When I saw him the first days after what happened, I just tried to hide and avoid him because I did not know what to do if our eyes meet in the hallway. I was not ready, but of course when I tried the most to avoid him I meet him everywhere I went. The first time was close to the school bathrooms. He looked at me and I looked at him, but that was it. Not hello, not anything else. The second time was when I needed to talk with my computer teacher, that also has his desk in the same room as Him. He wasn't there when I came in to talk to my computer teacher, but he came in later when I almost had finished talking to him. My computer teacher said that he needed to copy a paper and that I could wait there. So he left the room and once again I was alone with Mr "English". We looked at each other and then I could not stand not saying anything so I said; "I've been thinking about you" He looked away and then he said; "(My name), I think about you all the time.. but we have to move on" He looked at me and tried to smile, I felt a little better when he said that he thought about me a lot. It made it a little easier to try to move on. I don't know why... my computer teacher walked in after that so we did not say anything else. I smiled at him on my way out and then the last time I saw him was last week on the seniors graduation. He starred at me for a very long time, even my friend said that he was acting a little weird. But I haven't told anyone. And I won't. I think about him every single second, he makes me wan't to wake up every morning. And I do know that I must move on, it's the best thing to do, and I don't wan't to feel like this when school starts in late august. So that's my story, I've also read a few other posts here on Dearcupid because I wanted to see how it worked out for other people. But the only thing I found was immature girls who doesn't understand better. I believe that a person is who they are because of the environment they live in, and the bringing up (education) their parents give them. I do not think that I am immature enough not to decide if I wan't to sleep with an older man (Witch I have seen many people say in the advices to peoples questions). I do know what I wan't, And I would only do what I wan't and nothing else. And I only do stuffs that I believe is going to be good for me. And everything we do is a experience. Good or bad, we learn from them. And experiences gives knowledge.
Don't know if I was to any help, but anyway it helps me to talk about it.
Good Luck with your book!
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 May 2009): Hmmm where to start...
well I was 15 when this PE teacher came to my school for 10 months work experience. ALL the girls fancied him but for some reason i just thought, 'oh, everyone fancys him' and I was kind of found that unattractive because I dont like fancying a guy that everyone else does.
Anyway, 10 months of his work experience were up and he was offered a job at my school and he accepted.
Then it was the summer holidays and I went back in Year 11, after all the school crushes on him had calmed down, and I dont know why but I looked at him and realised just how gorgeous he was.
He was about 5'9, with light brown hair, brown eyes and a gorgeous smile. he had a really innocent face that I was drawn to and compared to this other pe teacher- another male with bright blonde hair and a cheesy grin- he was even more gorgeous.
Me and my friend used to go to the cafeteria at lunchtime, sit near him and giggle like idiots because he was honestly sooo lovely.
anyway, I used to go to basketball practise after school which he started to run and he helped me with all techniques and stuff. I realised i really, really liked him as a person- he was funny, charming, charismatic. he really treated me like a proper person instead of just a student.
One day after school I was the last to leave after getting changed from basketball office and he called me into his office.
We just started talking about loads of stuff and his phone rung, but he didnt answer it. He said he would get it later, and when I asked who it was he said it was his ex girlfriend, who he had split up with last week. I said I was sorry and out of nowhere we just kissed.
I was 16 and he was 24.
It was the nicest kiss in the world, but then he pulled away and said he was sorry and that he had just done something really, really stupid.
I saw him the next day at school and was talking to some of my male friends and when I saw him walking by I touched one of their arms and leaned in to say something to them. I dont know if he saw or not but that same day he came to my maths lesson and asked to see me.
Then he took me back down to his empty office and told me that he didn't know why but seeing me with other lads made him feel uncomfortable and maybe infront of him I could just cool it off a bit.
We kissed again and since that day he used to come into a few of my lessons a week asking to see me about something important and errmmm you know we would find somewhere 'private'
The thing is about student/teacher relationships is that some people regret them or get caught up in what they think is love, and sometimes you can look back on them and be so glad you had that experience.
My teacher was not a paedophile or a pervert- he was only 8 years older than me- and before anything serious happened with us he would always try and sit me down and explain it was wrong, and it shouldnt be happening and we had to stop it. But we never did because the feelings were there and when they are there's not much you can do to stop it.
I remember every single detail of our 5 month relationship.
And then I left school and, sometimes, I still see him around or if I go back to that school. When I do the spark is still there but I think we're both trying to put it behind us.
I guess we'll just have to see what happens.
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reader, Delaney +, writes (22 May 2009):
Delaney is verified as being by the original poster of the questionEvening all
Thanks to everyone who has replied - honestly this is great and it's all very valuable to my research.
To those who have suggested I have replied irresponsibly, I can see where you are coming from and I in no way advocate teacher/student relationships; perhaps I came across wrongly in my reply. Simply, I think writing a letter to a teacher who is leaving confessing feelings to them will bring some amount of closure, which otherwise may haunt these girls for the rest of their lives - and the poster was 16 which means in this country if he is no longer her teacher, any relationship is perfectly legal. However, if he was to return to the school obviously then that would not be the case. Sorry I should have perhaps made that more clear. My intentions are not to 'manipulate' anyone into anything; Im not running some kind of guinea pig scheme I'm just genuinely interested in these situations for the purposes of my writing!
Again thankyou all, even the debate from those pointing out the negatives of these relationships is all very interesting.
Delaney
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reader, kitty_3  +, writes (22 May 2009):
 hey! i have a story for you so feel free to pm me!
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reader, celtic_tiger +, writes (20 May 2009):
 to the anonymous poster - thank you for the compliment!
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 May 2009): celtic tiger i agree with most of your points. you have shown that you are a responsible teacher and that there are still good ones out there.
(some/most)teachers abuse the relationship of trust and actually enjoy manipulating these kids.
i also agree Delaney was somewhat irresponsible with her 1st advise. i believe she is actually advocating teacher/student relationships.
what a pity - this will probable get me into trouble but i have to say it - first the teachers abuse the relationship of trust and Delaney i am hoping when you are corresponding with these teenagers privately that you are not giving them false hope. i m hoping this website will not be used for selfish gain and that these teenagers/kids will not be manipulated into bigger and dirtier secrets to unburden their souls. for now they think it is so cool for an adult to want to know their stories, their heartbreak and so on but i am hoping this does not blow up in an innocent someone's face.
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reader, celtic_tiger +, writes (20 May 2009):
I agree with the anonymous poster below.
I am a teacher, but I think I can safely say, that everyone, whatever their age, sex or race has had a crush on a teacher at some point in their school career. Be it, in primary school, secondary school with raging hormones, or at university. There will always be the teacher you secretly fancied the pants off. (often the strapping handsome PE teacher).
A lot of young people experience this feeling of a CRUSH, and mistake it for LOVE. Often it is just a case of growing up and discovering the feelings and emotions of adult life. The first flush of hormones and the beginning of sexual awakening can easily confuse you. So that it is very easy to mistake genuine teacher behaviour, of caring and being attentive as "he/she really likes me""they give me more attention""he/she keeps looking at me" etc etc etc.
More often than not, this type of thing, is very one sided on the part of the pupil. The teacher may not even realise what is going through the Childs head.
A teacher can show concern, be friends and treat the student as a person, a young adult, rather than a child - often something which may not happen amongst their peers, or at home, and sometimes, this can be mistaken for "romantic attraction", which then turns into infatuation and reading into signs which are never actually there.
I know that many of the young posters on this site who are convinced they are in love with their teachers think it is "true love", but how many of the teachers are actively trying to send out these signals, and how many have accidentally got themselves an infatuated love-sick teenager?
I think we need to try and educate these vulnerable children to show them, that what they are feeling isn’t love, and that these emotions are all part of growing up – and crucially, that if a teacher DOES reciprocate their feelings, that it is totally wrong, and they should be reported.
I feel that your answer to the first poster, agreeing that she should send her teacher the letter telling him how she feels was fairly irresponsible. What happens when she does? If he is a decent teacher he will report it to his headteacher, as this is an untenable situation, and he could get into a hell of a lot of trouble if she starts gossiping - teachers are ALWAYS guilty until proven innocent when it comes to this type of situation. She will be hauled up in front of the Head, and told in no uncertain terms, that this isn’t going to happen. Things will be awkward, she will be embarrassed.
I know some people do not agree with my views on this, but personally, I think teacher-pupil relationships are morally wrong.
I think any teacher that has a relationship with a student should be struck off immediately, as they cannot be trusted with children, but also that a lot of the time, children become infatuated and develop CRUSHES - just as they do with pop stars and film stars who they think are madly in love with them, and are going to marry in the future. Sadly, teachers are not posters on a wall, and whereas the pop star will never know that girl "A" wants to kiss him and have his babies, the teacher gets the full brunt of her obsession. Instead the teacher gets letters, flirting and the possibility of losing their job, and reputation if they even slightly step out of line.
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 May 2009): dELANEY, I don't know what angle you are writing your book but one thing strikes me all the time. these so called teachers take advantage of their students. they knew that the students see them as near perfect and they use and manipulate these girls into a sexual relationship. they so called high caliber professional men and women use their status to get between the girls legs, these girls are in all innocence just coming of age, and who is there to teach them about their first sexual encounters. why the upstanding teacher of course.
what these girls do not relaise is these teachers are grooming them , just loke how the paedos do it to other girls. all for sexual gratification. these girls if only they take off their rose tinted naive glasses will realise that their teachers are actually raping and violating them. theur so called loving married teachers just want to get between their legs, violate their virginity and still appear to be the upright citizens of their town. what a disgrace, what a farce. teachers have broken every rule in the teaching code of conduct. yet their girls naively think it is LOVE. in actual fact it is greed, violation, rape, and these teachers mess up the girls lives forever.
there should be a subject in school teaching girls about the pitfalls of teachers. telling them that it is RAPE AND NOT LOVE. BUT SADLY NOONE WILL DO THIS. AND THE GOOD TEACHERS OF THE WORLD WILL JUST CONTINUE RAPING AND MESSING YOUNG KIDS LIVES .FOREVER.
if the sexual acts were conducted byt he girls and ordinary males then our sick society will scream., write petitions and get the offender imprisoned for his rape. yet the teachers because of their posiiton of trust gets away with their sexual crimes. and we just let them.
the real paedos are actually in the schools. we are just too blind to see it. and the foolish students just give their virginity to these sexual predators. these girls don't know how many students the same teacher has slept with. they also think that their teacher is only having sex with them and not their married partners.
the school environment is a sexual mating place between teacher and student. no one want to tacke this ao yes, teachers you just continue to RAPE and conduct sordid sexual conduct because you can.
it is not a love affair but a CRIME CONDUCTED. BUT NO BODY WANT TO SEE THE REAL SITUATION. WE JUST ROMANTICISE THIS SICK CRIME.
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reader, reign154 +, writes (20 May 2009):
Wow the number one subject isn't it? Student's want for teachers. You know it is pretty cool that you are writing a book on this and asking people their stories because it lets people express them selves and open up to you without feeling like they are being judged. I think that's what people here really want someone that will listen to them and try to understand them without always judging. So i say congrats to you. :). Now for me i know personally what it feels like to want a teacher to have the same feeling for you as you do for them, and how many times you come to the reality that it isn't going to happen like a story book fairy tale. I remember meeting my friends teacher and i always thought that there was something between us by how our eyes met or how i felt tension whenever he was around. I read into everything he said and each look he gave me. Sometimes i wanted to ask him or just throw myself at him, but i wasn't brought up that way. I'm not a quiet person at all but when around him its like he knew what i was thinking before i could say it and i guess he knew how i felt a little when we were around other people. I have to admit i loved being alone with him because it gave me a chance to get to know him a little. My friends always would say that i was an open book when it came to him and you know what they were prob right. I would try to go to tutoring even when i didn't need to just so i could spend time with him. I wasn't obsessed with him at all, but i guess i was a bit in love.But what is love? i mean people say this all the time, but what does it really mean? Anyway that was last year, but this year is much different for some reason now when i would get near him i would get angry or we would have a dispute and i really doubt either of us knows exactly what it was for. I tried to avoid seeing him and would walk by him in the halls as if he wasn't even there and i guess he got the point because soon he started to do the same thing to me. My senior year is basically over and i've been having dreams about me or him crying while we were talking, Strange right, but i guess its a message telling me that i need to bring some closure and try to start over with him even if this will be the last time we will see each other. I don't want things to end sour between us so i have to close this once and for all so that i wont have any regrets. Srry this is soo long but i want you to try and see how it is through the eyes of someone who did fall in love with their teacher and is now trying to say see you soon instead of saying good bye.
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 May 2009): Hi,Saw your request when I was reading through the questions and thought I'd breifly share my experience.A couple of years ago I was in a commited relationship ( same sex) and had just started college. One of my tutors was very friendly and nice and took a lot of interest in me. After a year or so we became closer and their was heaps of tension between us. After a social school function we had too musch to drink and I ended up sleeping with her. After this the whole thing became a nightmare. People found out, but as it was only a 'rumour' she got really crazy and was very emotionally abusive. She yelled at me all the time, would cry and scream at me when she was stressed and tried to run me down infront of other tutors( probably so they wouldn't believe me, even though I told noone what was going on). She even tried to convince other tutors to fail me so I couldn't come back the next year... which they wouldn't as I was a good student. She made my life a living hell for another year before I got my degree. Now I am a high school teacher, and even though this happened to me at college I would never ever dream of doing this to a student. It was so unfair as the balance of power leaves the student feeling powerless when it all goes wrong.
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 May 2009): Just a quick message to A female reader, anonymous, writes (16 May 2009):You say you havent found closure in 6 months. A friend of mine has taken 2 years before she found any type of closure only to go and see the teacher again by chance and it has opened up all the old wounds. You will find closure though!.
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reader, xCharliix +, writes (18 May 2009):
 heya.. im in a situation at the mo. and it sucks. :)
i've got loads more to tell you private message me :)
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 May 2009): Just a quick message to "A reader, anonymous, writes, (13 May 2009):" i.e. the first answer: Hey there (And Delaney too!), I was in your predicament. For details, read my question titled 'I love my teacher who now lives on the other side of the world, what do I do?' To this day I regret not having the guts to take some time and sit down with that teacher just so we could explain how we felt about one another. Because now, I have no closure to this thing I started with him, and so I have no way I can move on. And whilst you might read my story and think 'Nah, that'll never happen to me.', it will happen. If you don't have closure, you're not going to be able to move on. Because after he leaves, you miss him CONSTANTLY, you think about him CONSTANTLY, you fantasize and dream about him CONSTANTLY and he seems to be in your mind far more often than he was when he was with you. And everything just builds up. It gets a lot worse before things start to look any better, and still, in 6 months, I haven't found any closure, I haven't found a way to move on. PLEASE listen to me, and save yourself the agony, the pain and the utter suffering. Give him that letter, please give it to him. Make it clear to him that you want a reply, BUT THAT IS IT. Make it clear to him that you realise this is jeopardizing his career, and that you DON'T WANT TO PURSUE A RELATIONSHIP WITH HIM. Make your feelings clear to him, and that is all. He should write back, stating his feelings clearly as well. This will provided good, solid closure for you, which ever way he answers. But please, please, please do it, it's the only way you're going to be able to move on from him, and I just don't want you to have to learn that the hard way like I'm doing, because it's too late once you don't do it, isn't it. P.S. - Maybe you should find out for certain whether he's leaving or not, because things may become a little awkward for you both next year if he does come back once you've exchanged letters. My best wishes, xxxDelaney, I admire your perseverance in writing a book on this subject. You may find my story useful, however a warning: it doesn't come with a happy ending........Do you reckon you could let me know by posting another question when your book is finished and published? I'd love to read it. Best of luck, xxx
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 May 2009): My story is a same sex story between me and the most gorgeous maths teacher I have ever met.
We are so incredibly close, she has told me stuff shes told no-one else. Shes told me she trusts me. We share books, we have so much in common. We remember things we've told each other. we ask each other about things going on in each other lifes.
We just get on so well. Its like she knows me inside out already.
we cant take our eyes off each other, we flirt constantly. We have little inside jokes. We congratulate each other on things. We are proud of each other.
We are 18 and 28, both female. But its not going to stop me. She is amazing, I have never met anyone who understands me the way she does. She has this smile that can just take away all the problems in my life. I hope that when I leave the school, i finally get to tell her - however deep down I know she already knows. She doesnt seem to mind tho, I dont go about making it un-obvious.
I am in love with her, with her - not the maths teacher the person. The 28 year old female, who likes sport, reading and school holidays!. The one who talks to me as a person not a pupil. The friend, not the teacher.
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reader, eagle101 +, writes (14 May 2009):
Hi, so I am in Jr. High and I love my teacher. Hes an amazing guy who loves to flirt with me. He also puts his hands on my shoulder and back when I talk to him. He does not do that to anyone else I know. Also I wanted to spend time with him one day so.........I stayed after school on a HALF DAY. We talked, flirted and we just got really close. If I could re-live that day I would. I hope this helped you out with your novel somehow! (Other people might say I am CRAZY for "loving" him. )
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2009): yeah, I'm almost 17.
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reader, Delaney +, writes (14 May 2009):
Delaney is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks very much so far, they're both great, everything helps at this stage.
The first anonymous poster, I think, yes, go for it. You're right you will have to wonder for the rest of your life if you don't, and I'm a firm believer in 'no regrets'. However, if he does return to teach at your school whichever way things go it is likely to be a little awkward; if he reciprocates your feelings then you will have to work out between you what to do.
Samtfs, can I ask how old you are?
Also if anyone else wants to reply feel free, as I say I need as much feedback as possible really.
Delaney
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reader, this_years_love  +, writes (13 May 2009):
 haha too cool i'm currently writing a novel of the same type and did a lot of my research on this site!
best wishes!
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 May 2009): Here's the question I just recently asked...if you have any questions or comments, or want anything in more detail, you can message me at anytime! Good luck writing your book, let me know how it goes!
Okay, wow..I cant believe im doing this, but yeah this is another dumb teenager in love with her teacher, well in this case, my former teacher. I know there has been many questions like this, but i just need some help...
Well, when i was in 7th grade, i saw him a couple times in the hallways and I, as well as half of the school, thought he was really cute. Then 8th grade came around and I was actually enrolled in his class. My friends and I were happy we had him and we would jokingly talk about marrying him, and stuff like that. So i can pretty much say it started out as a joke.
Anyways, i got to know him more, as my teacher, and he was just amazing. He would help me if i had problems with any other teachers, If i wasn't feeling well, he would be so nice about it. I also had problems at home at the time and i got depressed and quiet, when usually im very loud and outgoing, and he would always ask me what was wrong, and if i was okay...I regretfully never told him anything because im not really an open person and its very hard for me to trust people(i don't know why), even though i think he could've probably helped me through it. He was/is the only person who could make me smile when all i wanted to do is cry. Anyways, I started to talk and think about him all the time, and truth be told, i still do. I would get depressed if i went a day without talking to him, I always tried to find a way to run into him, Not to mention he made me look forward to school everyday...So basically my whole life revolved around this man. He probably could've told me to jump off a bridge and i think i would've done it. He knew i had a "crush" on him, my friend told him once, and he was flattered. He didn't act awkward or anything after that, if anything, it made us closer.
Things at home eventually got better, and i got better, and I remember him telling me that he likes "the new me, the happier me".
He encouraged me to do better in school, to do sports, to just be a better person.
I never called it love, always told myself its an obsession, it'll go away as soon as i leave middle school.
Summer came around and he got married..which made me feel horrible. Well, i left middle school and went into 9th grade, and i still could'nt stop thinking about him. I went back to the school he teaches at many times because i play basketball there..(the school he teaches at, the school i attend, and my house are all by each other)...The more i saw him, the more it killed me, so i stopped going there for a couple of months and somehow something always brought me back..i always wanted/needed to just see him. Tenth grade came around and same story, im still head over heels for this man. This time i have alot of other problems,fell into depression again, but this time its alot worse. I got myself doing stupid things he taught me not do, ofcoarse all out of anger, its like whenever i have another problem, i start to think about him and it makes everything so much worse. I came to the school he works at, many times, to either play basketball or whatever my reason was. I could'nt even sit next to him without looking at his ring, without trying so hard to hold in my tears. He's still the same sweet man he always was. He still always gave me advice about life and what i should do in certain situations.He was always asking me what was wrong and if I was okay, because i obviously look like im depressed, and once again, I never told him whats wrong, because everything is wrong, and i dont think i could tell him all the stupid things i'v done..he would be so dissapointed. I care about this man so much, and i would do anything for him, and thats why i havn't been there for a couple months. I know its only been a couple months but im trying, and even though i know i'll end up going there to see him, im gonnna try so hard not to. I'm not here because i want him to risk his job and lose his family for me, i would never allow that to happen. I'v had boyfriends throughout the years but he's the only one i actually thought about every day of my life and i have never felt this way about anyone else. I can pretty much say Im in love with him. I'v tried so hard to move on so many times, and in so many different ways but i cant...I cant stop thinking about him..
So here is my question..
should I tell him? Before you start to critisize me, i dont want to tell him in hopes of starting anything..I want to tell him because i think it would take so much stress out of my shoulders and help me maybe get over him. The only way i'm gonna stop seeing him is if he knew. Even though i don't think he would make things awkward around me, i would'nt be able to face him if he knew. But i dont want to be selfish and tell him if its gonna bother him. But heres the problem..im not gonna be able to tell him face to face, because theres just so much i wont be able to say, and i dont want to write a letter because im scared he'll show it to his wife or other co-workers, because im more than likely to run into one of them because i live by the school. So should i tell him?If so, how?
or is there any other way to get over this man because its killing me more and more each day. I feel like if i get over him, my other problems will eventually get better and maybe ill start looking at life in a whole new way. I feel horrible even considering telling him because we have a really good friendship and i know this will probably ruin it, but i think im willing to take that risk. I'm just so sick of crying myself to sleep every night, feeling like crap everyday, Iv pretty much hit rock bottom.
Please if anyone has been through this, or i would like any male teachers point of view.
thanks
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 May 2009): Hi, I'm 16 years old and I have this thing for my teacher. He's only 24 and I personally don't think 8 years is too big of an age difference but it's illegal and morally wrong anyways.
At the beginning of the school year, I noticed this teacher looking at me when we passed in the hallways. It wasn't a creepy stare or anything like that. But his eyes would meet mine and he'd look away, and then he'd look at me again, and, of course, look away.
Well, when the third trimester came, I realized that I had this teacher for one of my new classes! I never thought too much of it but I kept getting more and more excited because I couldn't wait to finally be in his class. On the first day we had the new classes, I walked in his room and he was talking to another teacher. He looked over at me and stopped right in the middle of his sentence. Then he looked away and started talking again but he sounded distracted and different than before.
Well, the weeks progressed and I started liking him more and more and I kept noticing more and more signs that he might actually like me back. I had my friend count how many times he looked at me while we went over notes (it was 97 times in 25 minutes). He never came outside of his classroom between 4th and 5th hour but I stood right outside his doorway to talk to my friend at her locker and now he comes out and talks to us. The day I wasn't standing over by his classroom, he came out, looked to the spot where I normally stand, looked around, and went back in his room. My locker is right in front of his classroom. One time when I was at my locker, I watched him out of the corner of my eye. I watched him come halfway out of his room and go back in. Then he came out again halfway and went back in. Then I turned fully and saw him looking through the crack in his door. I know you're thinking that's weird but it wasn't for me. It was actually really cute and he seemed nervous to come and talk to me. I know he's an adult but he's still super young and it's normal to be nervous to talk to someone you like.
I write down everything that happens between us two. I have a calendar and I write down the things I want to remember everyday.
This is my story and I hope it helps.
But could you help me?
I recently found out that he might not be teaching at my school next year and I honestly don't know what I'll do if he doesn't. Do you think I should write him a note telling him that I'm interested in him and give it to him on the last day of school? I understand that it's wrong and I don't want to jeopardize his job or put him in an awkward position. But, what if I never get to see him again and he actually DOES like me back? I don't want to go through the rest of my life wondering what might have happened if I gave him the note.
Thank you. (:
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