A
female
age
30-35,
*loier
writes:Well, I'm 18 and I met this guy who is around 33.I met him by chance and we started talking and well I know him a bit and it was pretty nice. He was really sweet and all and he had asked me if i was alone or witn company and where I lived, but unfortunately i wasn't alone and had to leave. After a week I went again alone this time to his work and when he saw me he immediately remembered me and hugged me and all. he asked me again if i was with company etc and then asked me for my phone number he saved it on his phone and told me he had to wake up early the next day so we couldn't go to a bar or something right then but that he would call me soon to go out together. Then he had some things to arrange and I thought it would take him time so I just left and after 5-10 minutes he called me and said that i left and he didnt have the chance to say goodnight, he also said he was really happy to see me and he would soon call.And now two weeks have passed and he still hasn't called. I gave him a call this evening but he didnt answer (maybe he was at work) and now I'm just wondering...I mean I've read that yeah if a guy likes you he will call, but he is EXTREMELY busy. He works for so many hours and almost every night so it's difficult to find a day to arrange a date..i also think he may be considering the age difference and that's the reason he hasn't called..What should i do??Why since he asked for my phone number and said many times he would call, he still hasn't?Should i text him or call him again?I know most people will reply commenting on the age difference but please stick to the questions because I have already considered the age thing. thank you all and sorry this was so long.
View related questions:
at work, hasn't called, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, angelinvain +, writes (25 January 2010):
If he didn't call. He could be lying in a hospital with amnesia, he could have genuinely lost it, he could have left it in his pants and washed it? Ask yourself what do you think? Did you sleep with him? or not sleep as the saying goes.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 March 2008): If he's not calling he ain't interested Honey. I think all of the answers here have covered the reasons why he may have asked for your number, unfortunately some guys do things like this.
You shouldn't call him again, let him call you! xx
...............................
A
male
reader, Stroller +, writes (16 March 2008):
 Any more advice? Blimey! You've already had more replies than than most questions.
Personally, I think you should give him just one chance & call him. But if he doesn't pick up, doesn't return your call, or if you decide not to call him, quit bothering about it. Fade's absolutely correct about this - move on and forget it. There are plenty of fish in the sea, and you can do plenty better than a guy who can't be bothered to call.
...............................
A
female
reader, floier +, writes (16 March 2008):
floier is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks for everyone who has replied so far..He isn't married.He is really busy.I mean he works all day and afternoon and 5 days a week he works till 11pm. (the days he doesn't work at night, it's difficult for me, because it's not on the weekend)I guess it's true that if someone is interested, he will call..but afterall, why did he ask for my number, say he will call many times, and after five minutes that I had left, call to say he didnt have the chance to say goodnight and that he was really happy to see me again??? because if he hadnt called i wouldnt have his number, so i guess it would make more sense if he just wanted to be nice..any advice?
...............................
A
female
reader, korculan queen  +, writes (16 March 2008):
He is a player. For him to keep asking you if you are all alone. Did he say do you have a boyfriend or are you all alone. That would be the difference in my response. He sounds like a married man who just wants a hot young girl to relive his fantasies of what sex used to be like for him. Definitely a player and without the issue of age it seems like a relationship with this guy you will only be getting his breadcrumbs. Is this what you want a slice of pie or the whole pie to yourself? What do you know about him? do you know where he is from where his parents are how many sisters brothers he has? Have you met them? Have you been out with him? In private or in public? Something just does not gel with me about this and it has nothing to do with age. More differing weights and measures. Ie what you want and what he is offering are two different things.
...............................
A
male
reader, Stroller +, writes (16 March 2008):
He's a bloke. By this I mean that the chances are that Fade has hit it on the head, but there's also a chance that Eve's calling it all wrong. I admit there's a good chance that Eve's 101% on the mark, but most blokes couldn't organise a piss-up in a proverbial as far as women are concerned as it's possible he's just scatty, disorganised and/or overworked. He might've intended to call you but feels he's left it too long, feels embarrassed that he's done so, &c &c. Not every guy - 33 or not - is well-versed in the etiquette of North American dating, so if you really like him give him one (ONE!) chance and give him a bell. Maybe Phil is the Uncle of the moment on this one.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 March 2008): Great answer, Eve. And I agree --do not call him! If he hasn't dropped off the face of the earth , there is really no reason to 'not' call you. He's not that busy that he can't call you..it requires a two minute call...7 digits. Even faster if he has you on his speed dial. Or perhaps, as Eve said, does he have another female in his life?
So Whoa! there, girl! Try to slow down, girl. And think. Rationally, calmly and with clarity. I went back into the Irish archives and found an answer I gave to another female suffering with your same problem. She wanted to date an older guy who didn't call her and left her hangin'. I am here to repeat to you what I told her. You need to read this and take what you want from it.
You sound stressed. and very confused. And when a woman is feeling the confusion, the stress, she will obsess. And when you obsess about 'why' he's not calling, what are you doing to yourself? You are allowing your self-esteem to take a humongous nosedive. No one should have that kind of power over you. I don't care who he is. Do not call him....he knows where you are, he has your number...so just stop already.
Your posting makes me think of something I read once. "Men have traits in them that women would be really, really smart to adapt to" And that is, men don't put all their eggs in one basket. They leave openings and they know how to keep it all in perspective. They seem to have the courage to persist through doubts, failure and hurt and stay strong/steady. Women need to think 'like a man' so retain their sanity through these bleak periods of self-doubts. This guy hasn't even dated you and already, you are agonizing. And if you do this over just a simple thing as no calls from him when he promised, maybe you should stop dating, build up your self-worth, kick in a lot of courage and pride and when you feel strong...get out and date other people. Don't wait around for this fellow.
Firstly, this man is able to do this, because he is almost 15 years older than you. Either he is not interested, or he knows how to 'play the game'. You however, are showing signs that you don't. But you can change all that by dropping your angst, your insecurities and take this, day by day.
So for future dating purposes, twhether it's this guy or not, the key to getting a man to take note of you, is to play it cool, to be a classy, interesting, confident woman. So...have you empowered you own life? Are you working? Are you educated? Do you have a great life beyond him,? Do you have other interests? Do you have a solid, happy life..a ton of friends? These things are 'things' a lot of guys like in females. A guy wants a woman who has...a good solid life and most importantly she doesn't 'need' him. to give her a life! And if you are needy, in the wrong way he will spot it a mile away. Men absolutely hate seeing neediness in a woman. I want you to try an experiement...step away from the phone/computer and get out with friends and have a blast, laugh, have fun. Under no circumstances are you to call, email or text him. Resist. If this man likes you as you say he does, I guaruntee, that within one more week, he will call you. I f he doesn't, then hey..his loss! No sweat, you'll be out haviing fun with your friends! But just on the chance he does call, be polite, be positive, but be very busy. Cut the call short. Make a date for another evening, not that night...and make him work hard for you. After all, you are worth the hard efforts he will have to do, to get you. You are worth it, hun so believe in yourself. Take care, sweety.
...............................
A
female
reader, yeahsureyoubetcha  +, writes (16 March 2008):
 If he wanted to be with you he would have called.
He has not. No man is so busy he doesn't want to get laid. Calling and texting a lot tells a 33yo that in fact you are desperate. If you were important to him he would have responded. He did not.
...............................
A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (15 March 2008):
 If he WAS crazy on you AND HAD NO BAGGAGE then he would have called you. He's either fobbing you off, being nice to you to your face with no intentions of calling but just doesn't want to hurt your feelings or he has a girlfriend or a wife at home! Two weeks is more than enough time for him to have called you back if he was interested.
I certainly wouldn't call him again. He's not telling you everything here hun so I would forget about him and move on. I think he's a player, he saw a pretty face and fancied his chances asking you if you were alone. When you WERE alone it didn't suit him so he asked for your number and then you "had to leave". See if he calls you but don't sit there holding your breath.
~Eve~
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 March 2008): Perhaps he's a little nervous about dating a younger woman. I think you may have to take the lead here, call him, text him or whatever it takes to get his attention, and tell him you want to meet up. Ask him when he's free and take it from there.
If I were in his shoes I'd be trying to avoid embarassment about the age difference, but if you showed him that it didn't matter to you, he'd probably make some more positive moves towards you.
...............................
|
