A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:My ex split up with me in Jan and keeps on texting me. Either to see how i am, ring me up to ask if i'm with anybody else... He recently fell out with two of his best mates because of me. One of them tried to chat me up on a night out when i saw him, my ex nearly killed him, and the other mate stuck up for him.I wouldn't mind but he must know i'm still crazy about him. My family say he is a waste of space to finish me for no reason, we were together for 10 months, and got on great. I'm 20 and he is 22. I fell head over heels in love with him...there is no denying that. The problem is, we've met up a couple of times after the split and ended up sleeping together. It would be unfair to suggest he was using me because it takes 2 to tango, and i wanted it as much as he did, my issue is...i think i wanted it so i could be closer to him. I know he has always said he would be there for me, and that he loves me with all of his heart. I am his first love and i know he isn't joking around because there really isn't a reason to lie about it, i was never over the top kinda gf, if anything i was more laid back than him. It's just so confusing, the other night i had 10 missed calls and 4 texts, sent to me in the space of about 25 minutes....because he wanted to talk to me, he said i'm the only person who doesn't lie to him, and that he loves spending time with me...WHY SPLIT UP WITH ME THEN?!Nothing seems to make sense....can anybody give me any insight into this...do you think he just needs time...or should i just get away with what piece of heart i have left?Thanks and i'm sorry for ranting...i'm just so confused, and really feel like my head is up my ass!
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female
reader, thatgothgirl20  +, writes (17 March 2008):
 Wow, you know, the friend situation, the same thing happened with my bf. His best friend was flirting with me and telling me lies about my bf, so he went at him, and his best friend's brother defended him, and he lost two friends.
I say leave with what piece of your heart that you have left. It was only ten months and he got cold feet!!!!!!!
You have my condolences.
A
male
reader, Stroller +, writes (16 March 2008):
 Commitment-phobia. Whilst you continue to talk with - and sleep with - this guy you're just enabling him. Yes, it takes two to tango - it's nice to see such refreshing honesty - but if sex to you is about "being closer to him" and it's not to him, then you're just going to get hurt.
I think a little heart-to-heart is in order - maybe he's just afraid to say "do you want to get back together?" - but at the end of the day it's up to you whether you want the situation to change or whether you want things to stay like this forever. If he wants to contact you - to say how much he loves you and to keep acting like your his girlfriend, basically - then you're entitled to feel secure & loved, and he has to make some effort over that.
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A
female
reader, Bean317 +, writes (16 March 2008):
Thats really confusing, talk about mixed signals. Have you talked about the whole situation with him? If you truly want to get back with him and actually see it going somewhere, its your decision, your happiness. Just think about it logically as well as following your heart...i know it tears you in two. I would flat out ask him what he wants though. Something like, i don't understand what you want. We love eachother, you called it off and now it's like we're easing back into dating. Its not fair to you to be strung along not knowing whats going to happen, you can't put your life on hold to wait for him to make up his mind. First i would figure out if you're willing to try again. If so tell him you are, but you can't just be the ex that he sleeps with sometimes.
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