A
female
age
41-50,
*obme
writes:Me and my guy have been seeing each other for 6 weeks now and we are great together but I have one complaint! He doesnt call me much at all I have noticed the last couple of weeks. He will call when I am supposed to come over and maybe a couple times I will hear from him in text messages or a brief call. When we are together its wonderful he is loving and caring and surprises me with thoughts of him and I all the time.This week has been tough for me, he hasn't responded to me calling him or even a couple texts I sent him yesterday. I haven't heard from him since Monday night and that was maybe a few texts and I went to bed. I am supposed to see him on Thursday and I do weekly see him Thursdays and Sundays. Why isn't he calling me or responding back at all? He sees us strong and together but doesn't call me? I am confused and this makes me feel like he doesn't value me at all. I will get to the point that I am almost super upset and think I will stay home on Thursday and then he calls me like it's no big deal wanting me to come over. How are you supposed to keep a strong connection when you only see someone 2 times a week and no calls in between? Today I am not reaching for him, thinking I wont get anything from him and be let down again.At this rate although I adore him, I am reevaluating our relationship.He used to call me all the time and would always respond back from any texts all the time. I don't understand what has changed? When I have talked to him about this he says he doesn't want to get sick of me on the phone and would rather see me to talk to me. I just am not liking this no talking thing!!
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female
reader, MissWendlemoot  +, writes (21 April 2008):
 Hi! I really can relate to what you are going through! I put up with this roller coaster for 3 years and just now broke it off. We'd have a great time on the weekend; well part of the weekend, saturday night to sunday afternoon and I wouldn't hear a peep from him until usually Thursday and sometimes as late as Saturday. I would send maybe one text a day or every other day and no reply.The high from having so much fun on the weekend and the low from being ignored all week, was getting me down and making me depressed. I tried to talk to him about it and it would change for a week and then go right back to the same.I finally ended it and I feel much happier and not depressed.So if you haven't already, talk to him about it one time and see if he steps up and is consistent. If he falls back into the same pattern, maybe it is time to find someone else.Hope to hear your update soon!Good luck!
A
female
reader, tobme +, writes (19 March 2008):
tobme is verified as being by the original poster of the question To further clarify our situation here goes. We have known each other for over a year and a half and been great friends since. We are in a relationship exclusive to only him and I as well. Yes I need and want him in my life too. I just do not get him not just checking up on me or anything. I always call or text to see how he is and whats up. Today I get a text massage asking if I was at work. I said yeah and he said sorry to bother you call me when you can. I call and once again I get his voicemail. GRRRR!Maybe it is my insecurities popping up but its not like him to not return my call or anything!! I just keep telling myself maybe he is too busy. I know he doesnt like being on the phone but we live a half hour away from each other and I dont get to be with him much but 2 days a week. A phone call here and there wouldnt hurt! If I do not hear from him for 3-4 days I go numb alot and then he calls to have me over and "makes up" for me feeling like that. I feel like I am on a emotional roller coaster alot lately is all.Obviosuly he is ok with not keeping contact and just having me there 2 times a week.I just dont get it is all..
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A
male
reader, Stroller  +, writes (19 March 2008):
 Plus 5-stars to the anonymous uncle.
Guys perceive telephone communication differently to girls. There's some joke on the net which demonstrates this, but also numerous scientific studies. A guy phones his buddy and says "you wanna go fishing Saturday", "Sure", "k, see you then" - girls, of course, talk for hours.
Try and make the effort to call him and ask how his day was and what he got up to and how he enjoyed it and "what did you think of that?" Lots of open-ended questions give him the opportunity to talk about himself. But if it doesn't work the don't get hung up about it - really this is a minor thing, and it's completely normal for a guy to be this way.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2008): Whats with the phone obsession? Why not ask him if you can hook up with him another day in the week. Then he can see you and talk to you then. Bet he says yes.Good luck
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2008): Men don't talk and chit chat on the phone like women. Get over it, he'a a man not a woman. You said it's brilliant when your together. He loving, caring and surprises you. Don't loose a good man because you want him to be a woman.
Good luck
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (19 March 2008):
 You both have different needs and you should try to seek a compromise .
Maybe , you should pull back a bit and let him do the chasing.
.
It seems like he has settled into a boring routine which is predictable with no surprises.
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A
female
reader, Kiss Dont Miss +, writes (19 March 2008):
That's crap that guy is afraid of getting sick because of phone calls. It's perfectly ok when you are dating smb to find out how his or her day was, how she or he feels, what he or she is planning for the evening and so on. Maybe these two times a week is all he wants. He has 2 days for your relationships and the rest of week he is doing whatever he wants. Talk to him and explain that you are worried. You need him, not just two days, but all teh time. If you are in a serious relation, of course.Take care,kissdontmiss.com
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