A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I have been divorced with my wife for the last 4 years. She just uses the kids to hurt me.I don't know what to do. I was seeing them before for a little while and i had to work 1 weekend and she didn't like it.From that time she stopped me from seeing the kids and that was 2 years ago.It hurts me so much and i don't feel i have the strength to go through court again. i feel so down about it.Please, what can i do, please help????Many thanks
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female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (20 March 2008):
 If she is not letting you see the kids, you can go there every
weekend and camp outside her place until she relents.
Your children will make her change her mind..
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni did be friendly with her once and i ws hoping it would stay like that. I was having the children every weekend and they were staying over and i live in 1 single room but even that i was happy seeing my kids every weekend and they were happy too. And i do give a monthly maintenance every month, it's not that i don't give them anything. she should let me see them.Anyway, i had to work 1 weekend and she didn't like it. She started cursing me over the fone and told me that i'm always like that and that i will never see the kids again. Just for that weekend why?? because i was working.Well, my girlfriend texted her and said to her, if she really care about the kids why doesn't she let them see their dad as they are innocent children and boys especially needs their dad. and also she knows i have a girlfriend and she was sending the kids every weekend, so my gf also told her that if you really wanna be with your kids why don't you have alternate weekends, because as far as i know they go to breakfast club in the morning and the evening they stay for another club after school because she goes to work and that was 2 years ago. and she didn't really have time with the kids, that why my gf suggested alternate weekend.But from that time, she said she doesn't wanna hear from me or let me see the kids.I wanna thank you all for your supportKind regards
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2008): Don't give up. Thats what she wants. Soon there will be some other guy trying to take your place. Dig in deep and fight.
Good luck (fellow semiabsent father)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2008): This is a bit of a dark issue regarding the courts in this country. Basically, in order to be seen to be doing the right thing you need to return to court if your ex wife has broken the terms of any previous court order regarding access to your children. However, the courts are reluctant to take any drastic action upon the parent with whom the children live. For example, they do have the powers to send your ex wife to prison but this has never happened in this country as it would be detrimental to the childrens welfare to remove their parent from them.
If your children mean that much to you then you have to fight for them even if you feel you can not cope with the hassle another court proceeding would cause. If you feel that strongly that you can not cope then speak to your doctor and see if he can arrange some support counselling for you.
The courts in this country do not see the parents rights but the childrens rights and your children have a right to know and have a relationship with both of their parents.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318 +, writes (17 March 2008):
Make peace with her and have a friendly talk with her and discuss about the children's welfare and future together.
You don't want them to grow up without a father and she knows that too.
It would be better if you two can talk and settle this matter.
You may want to try to help them financially or in any other way.
Apologize if you have too and ask her what are her terms.
Alternatively , you could try to be friendly and helpful to her and hope that she will change her mind.
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A
female
reader, thatgothgirl20  +, writes (17 March 2008):
 1) Try to talk to her about how she's being.
2) Go to court.
Sorry, but I really don't see any other alternatives.
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A
male
reader, Stroller +, writes (16 March 2008):
 There are a couple of UK support groups for people like you - Families Need Fathers & Fathers 4 Justice. Get in touch and find some blokes who have been in a similar situation.
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A
female
reader, blueykisses +, writes (16 March 2008):
you need to fight for your children they have a right to see you how do you think this is effectingt them, it maybe hard but put a side your feelings and be a dad fight to see them every moment you waste not seeing them just hurts you and the children more
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