A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have recently found out that my boyfriend has been texting my friend's sister and met up with her once during the day for lunch. When I confronted him he said it is harmless and he thinks she is good fun and was only trying to make a friend from her and never wanted anything more. They both say it was only a couple of texts and they went to lunch as he was in the area. He swears he is not interested in her in a sexual or romantic way, but he never told me about the texts and the meeting and the texts only lasted a month and he sent her one saying "I'm not texting any more it's not fair going behind *****(me) back" and that was it.I just find this hard to believe and to trust him again, he is begging me to take him back, insisting nothing at all happened and never would as it's me he wants. What should I do?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2008): Yeah right just friends. So why didn't it crop up in conversation with you. He hid it from you but did finally feel a pang of guilt. Who knows where it would have led. If it was innocent he would not have felt guilty.Lets for one minute put the shoe on the other foot, what if you met up with some guy for lunch, i bet he would have gone ballistic.The good thing is he knew he was doing wrong. the bad thing is would he have stopped if not been caught.Its for you to decide that.Good luck
A
male
reader, Stroller +, writes (19 March 2008):
 I'd have no problem if he'd said to you "hey, X's sister is a cool person" - of course you'd recognise this was in a platonic way - "i think i'll have lunch with her when i'm over that way."But he's been hiding it from you - his text indicates that he's been sneaking around (even if he hasn't cheated on you yet).Dump the guy already! If he hasn't cheated on you yet, then he will do. "He swears he is not interested in her in a sexual or romantic way" is just denial - he enjoys the excitement and the thrill of the chase.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2008): To me it seems like he's pretty sorry, and even though what he did was bad, if it's any consolation, he DID tell this girl it was unfair, and they stopped texting. Everyone has times where they do stupid stuff they regret, and it sounds like this was one of his times. He regrets it, and wants you back. I think you should get him to explain EVERYTHING that went on, so you know it all. It might hurt a bit when he's saying it, but I assure you, you'll feel better knowing that nothing is being kept a secret. It'll take time, but I'm sure you'll find it in your heart to forgive him if you truly love him. But let him know this is his last chance! If he wants to meet up with people in future, he should tell you beforehand. Good luck :]
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2008): maybe he just got tired and wants to have sex. you should ask the other girl if they did it. and if she did bitch slap that ho
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