A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm 14 and my boyfriend is 15.Okay so here's the stichMy boyfriend has lately started on weed again and it has changed him big time, its got to a point were he doesnt care what i say or what i do anymore...Hes yelling at me like everyday now, i told him that he has changed since he started smoking weed again, but he doesnt care. I can't just dump him, if you say hes no good for you you can do better then dont even bother writing because i love him and i no deep down inside he loves me too. i just need no how to handle it.We have been going out for about 8months now and i just feel since he has started smoking again we have drifted apart. he used to be the sweetes guy when he stopped weed for about a month but then school came and he got stressed so he started taking it again. it really upsets me cause when hes stoned he doesnt give a shit about anything, or anyone even when hes not stoned now hes like that!!i love him so much, please dont write to me if all your going to say is i dont see why your with him, or whats so special about him. im staying with him no matter what. i just need to no what to do with him! please if theres anyone that can help me that would be great. i love him and there no way in hell will i break up with him so yall can foget bout that!! Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2010): I am going through something kind of similar
He's 15 I'm 14
he was smoking cigarettes and weed before we got together and god know what else... when i first found out that he smoked i started crying because I was scared and we barely even knew each other back then but my dad died of lung cancer from smoking and i guess it kind of brought back a lot of memories that i had kept locked up all those years. He told me he would quit smoking and i believed him then one day at lunch he lied to me and told me he had detention i caught him smoking weed with his other stoner friends. i got so pissed off and sad i just almost ran home but my friends ran into me and i just kind of fell over and started crying the big thing about it though was that he wasnt being honest with me. He started crying to when he came to talk to me even though he was still stoned... he hasn't smoke weed since then but he went back to cigarettes and kind of got me started on them and lately ... he has been saying all of this stuff about going back to weed and practically begged me to take a puff off someone's pipe I am kind of scared because I have telling him no and I really have no right to but... i really don't know how to explain what weed is to me but it tears me apart and i don't want to be like this other couple i saw like two weeks ago... that kind of scared me i want to just be able and go and say go ahead and do it hun i don't care anymore but truth is i do care and I'm falling apart at my seams
A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 March 2008): Stay with him then. If that's what you want to hear.
Maybe one day he'll hit you or cheat on you while he's stoned. But still, stay with him. Because you love him and that's all that matters.
Obviously with all the shouting at you and not giving a crap about you - he clearly loves you too. All men who love their girlfriends act like this....
...............................
A
male
reader, agtorange  +, writes (19 March 2008):
 Simple, he started smoking around the same time he started getting stressed out right?
The stress is probably causing his mood swings, marijuana cannot cause aggresive behaviour. If he's yelling at you that's purely stress, and if he gets mad when you bring up the topic of him being a stoner, that's probably adding to the stress and making him more angry.
As for him not caring about anything when he's stoned, that's probably not true, the odds are he's too high to show you the affection you deserve.
The source of your boyfriends problem is stress, not weed, but weed is probably adding to it.
...............................
A
female
reader, MBHP  +, writes (19 March 2008):
Im in the same mess, only mines on pills *grrr stupid!* to be honest, this isnt what you wanna hear but, it's up to them to decide they want to stop, you cant say anything to make them. part of me hopes mine has a scare to put things into perspective, i know that sounds awful but it might just be what it takes for him to realise. if you get onto him about it, he'll probably push you away. Maybe if you try and spend more time with him he wont do it so much. x
...............................
A
male
reader, Stroller +, writes (19 March 2008):
 Dreadful advice from Sexi - if you threaten to leave but don't then he'll just continue to walk all over you forever. Don't issue an ultimatum unless you're completely prepared to see it through.
Don't grass anyone up to the police - that's only involving yourself in that circle of people. What if they want revenge? He'll only find another dealer.
There's a good part of me that says "if you won't leave him, then why are you writing to us?" and my gut reaction was certainly similar to others here.
But, y'know, if we all walked away from people who needed help what kind of world would we live in? It's pretty hard to get a doper to believe he needs "rehab", but counselling or a tokers-anonymous group might be a good start. Tell him he doesn't need to give it up, but just explore himself a little - why does he appear to "need the weed" and can't go a day without a toke? Of course, if he doesn't want to there's not much you can do about it, is there?
There's something faintly worrying about the way you describe your situation and the way he doesn't care about you - at some point you need to recognise that your problems are yours and his, his. If you continue in this situations and remain unhappy then the only person to blame for that is yourself.
...............................
A
female
reader, duskyrowe +, writes (19 March 2008):
 You are far too young to take on the responsibility of your boyfriend who smokes weed. If you don't want people giving you lectures and you won't leave him, why the hell are you posting this letter????.
Cannibis can make a person act out of character, paranoid and can lead to schizophrenia. Do you really think you can handle that at such a young age? I hope you are sensible enough to not smoke weed. I think you really need to read up on the affects that soft or hard drugs can do to a person both mentally and physically.
What do your parents think of you dating a boy who takes drugs? I would go mental if you were my daughter. You are being extremely naive about all this and acting like a spolit brat.
The Aunts are on here to give you sound advise, if you don't like it then you should not write to an agony column. Should you??? I only hope you will learn the hard way. Good luck and don't come crying to us if it all goes tits up for you. We will only turn round and say " We told you so"
...............................
A
female
reader, Kiss Dont Miss +, writes (19 March 2008):
Take him to rehab. Try to talk to his relatives or his friends who you are sure want to help your bf.
That's the onely way out I can see. If your talking doesn't influence him, take help of others.
Wish you patience and strength.
kissdontmiss.com
...............................
A
female
reader, sexi  +, writes (19 March 2008):
 You dont want to leave him so why dont you just try threatening that you are going to leave and see what he does?If he doesnt care and continues to smoke weed then it is up to you and there is not much you can do to change his ways.
Regards
sexi
...............................
A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (19 March 2008):
 Is there any drug rehabilitation centers in your area?
You may ask him to report there to cure his drug addiction.
You can try your local gov. health centers or you can go to this link ;-
http://www.healthinsite.gov.au/topics/Treatments_for_Drug_Addiction
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2008): Tell him that weeds make willies wonky. And turn the drug dealer into the police--mebbe if the supply is gone he won't be able to find it to smoke.
...............................
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (19 March 2008):
 If you refuse to dump the loser looks like you just have to put up with his crap then. He'll probably drag you down with him, maybe even get you to start smoking the stuff.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2008): Kids say "I don't care about the problems because we're really in love."Adults know that unfortunately being in love isn't enough if two people are not good for each other.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2008): Well darling if you are already telling us that you won't leave the loser there's no point in coming on here asking for our help!
You can love him til the day you die and that won't help him or you. That won't stop him yelling at you. I mean IF he loved you like you love him he wouldn't be doin these things..........
...............................
|
