A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi there,i am 27 my partner 43 and we have been together for last 6 years. I love him dearly even we have a few problems - personal and financial... Last year i caught him up to sending emails to girl in Ukrain and even paying her for translating his emails because she did not speak english. We had a huge row, the worst ... for a week he moved out and went to his parents. Than he realised that he realy misses me... so we went back on together. Two weeks ago i came back from my holiday and found out from his email account that he signed up to another web looking for this time a russian girl. In his profile are only lies... I do not understand that... he says that all his life he met only the wrong girls... Than when i faced him to explain what is again all of this about he got furious about it. He even said that i should leave his personal life alone... That its only make him feel better, because withing 2 days he got over 500 hits by those women in russia looking for english men. So... and also he says that he does not care if he writes lies ... Why? Why would somebody do that? When i asked him about our life and love he just kept shouting that he does not love me and stuff like that. I really do not know what to do... Am i realy so stupid that i am still with this man who i love so much... i do not know realy...thank you for all your comments. I appreciate that.
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female
reader, thatgothgirl20  +, writes (17 March 2008):
 Leave him. This guy needs professional help.
You have my condolences.
A
male
reader, Stroller +, writes (16 March 2008):
 It seems pretty common for married guys to write to mailorder-bride agencies, and I suspect that it's because this is an escapist fantasy. He sees their professionally-taken portraits and doesn't have to deal with any of the real facts of day-to-day existence - moreover the lies he's constructing (to me) say that he's unhappy with his life.
Common or not, this is nevertheless quite unacceptable behaviour! He's saying that you're not good enough for him, and he's only sticking with you because he can be as much as a loser as he likes and you'll keep taking him back.
Arrange for a locksmith to visit sometime when he's out, change the locks and leave his stuff on the lawn. You are FAR better off without this guy.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 March 2008): He is contacting these women because he can. He is writing lies on his profile because he knows he won't get caught out. He is doing this because clearly he is unhappy with how his life really is - therefore investing time and energy into this fantasy life he has made up. By doing this he is demonstrating that he doesn't want to invest in the relationship with you, that having an online fantasy is more important than having a real life relationship. Unfortunately we can't make people love us, and we can't make them behave in certain ways. You won't be able to change him, and even when he said he had realised the error of his ways, he still hurt you again.
I agree with Ask oldersister - keep out of his personal life, and go and get your own life. You really don't need someone in your life who clearly doesn't care about you.
Good luck! In the longterm you will be so much happier! xx
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