A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi there,My boyfriend and I have been together very nearly 3 years. We went through a very bad patch, involving heavy arguments, often about petty things, but sometimes about my paranoid thoughts regarding him and other women. I'd often get very possessive and hate him talking to women, n case he starts fancying them...(Crazy I know, but I can't seem to stop the insecurities)...This bad patch lasted over a year, but we got through it because we loved each other so much. However, despite getting through this bad patch, things have never been the same, and the level of arguing was still too much until very recently (we're talking the past two months at best). I am still seeing improvements in both of us. I am learning to let go of the paranoid feelings - finally - and he is learning to stay calm, not get bogged down in an argument, and simply talk about things calmly. However, he has told me in the past months that he no longer feels like he loved me. He started saying he knew he should, but now he doesn't even think this. We decided to go on a brea, spend some time apart, no contact, nothing, in the hope that he might realise he misses me, and still loves me. Trouble is, we work together, so see each other regularly. I have now gone to University, so spend weekdays away from him, but stil see him at weekends. This break has so far lasted nearly 2 weeks. We did have a bit of a relationship for a few days beofre I went back to Uni, and he said that he wanted to because he cared that I was 'buggering off back to Uni', but since being back here, he seems o be snappy and hort-tempered with me, telling me I've had a moan about him talking to girls, when I honestly havn't. He just expects me to, and assumes I have, when I really really haven't. When we were together we were both really happy (I asked him if he ws happy and he said he was). Since being away he seems distant and really doens't want to be in touch with me becaswe we are on a break. Do you think the break wil work, or should we try being in a relationship? I don't know what to do...should we even be trying...? If he doesn't love me is there really any point? I still love him to pieces, and don't want to let go, but at times I feel like it's the only option. I love him so much and don't want to loose him. He is obviously willing to try something to try and mke it work, but I don't know what the right path is? Should we try a break for a month, and then try a relationship? Please help!!!! I don't want to lose him!!!!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, samurai girl  +, writes (21 September 2009):
 You should let this go and work on your insecurities. This isn't going to work and you are wasting each other's time. You are young and have your entire life ahead of you. Get to know YOU and work on yourself because no man is going to stay with you if you continue this behavior.
Good luck. You can do it :-)
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