A
male
age
41-50,
*hief524
writes:I've been dating this girl for 10 months. She was real closed up. I have broken down that wall a little. I still can't get her to spend much time with me. Lately it seem that her wall has come back up. I might see her twice a week. She is always making time for her friends and family. Which is fine, but when I try to talk to her about us spending time she gets defensive. Basically I've lost the conversation before it starts. She's also like that when I try to talk to her about anything. If she doesn't like to hear it, it becomes a fight. I've been holding things in for these reason and sometimes I explode. She says I have a problem because I can't talk to her. I have recently told her why I don't like talking to her but we are in a fight over a something I held in to long. So I don't know how that worked. For example last week was her birthday and she told me that she was excited about being able to hang out with me after we ate with her family. Her family left at 8:15 and then she told me her friend was getting out of class in 15 min. and coming over to watch a TV show. This friend that is another girl already comes over every monday to watch a show. My girlfriend went out with all her girlfriends on wednesday and then blows me off on her birthday. Several months ago her brother told me she has relationship problems, basically on how to act and be affectionate. It also seem that she is asking from me what she is not willing to give in return. I am ready to leave but I also feel that I have to much invested to give up on her. I haven't seen her in a week and a half. I just want to know what is going on and there is anything I can do or should I just leave while it is easy. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Datsun73 +, writes (16 June 2012):
Patience is a virtue, it's obvious that she has had problems with getting hurt with previous relationships. I suggest sticking it out if you think she is the one for you. My girlfriend has a freaking wall up like you would not believe. But I feel she is the one for me and I will stick with her and break every brick on that wall , till the wall is crushed to rubble. Oh and by the way, you think you got it bad? I haven't been with her alone just the two of us in 3 weeks man. But when we are alone and the cell phones are off, it is absolutely wonderful so stick it out if you can. I almost walked out twice but I do love her...hope it works out with you and good luck... Chris
A
female
reader, samurai girl +, writes (23 February 2009):
 It also seem that she is asking from me what she is not willing to give in return.
THAT is the key to your entire problem. She's not even attempting to give back what she gets from you. She is emotionally immature (take it from someone in her 30s who is still behaving in these dumb ways).
You sound like a nice fella. Move on and give your love to someone who will return it and treat you well. You don't deserve this.
Good luck.
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