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... Send *ica a private message | | | *ica's profile:I am older and wiser! If only the current me had been around to give the younger me some much-needed advice .. not that I would have listened anyway. As a teenager (and beyond) I thought that sex'n'drugs'rock'n'roll were the best goals in life .. how wrong I was. Ok for light relief but not to be pursued as a lifestyle. |
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Had sex and found out after...the condom split! What do we do now?
Q. Well yesterday me and my boyfriend had sex and it was all going well until we finished and noticed the condom had split. We are always safe and have never done anything unprotected but this suddenly happened and i dont know what to do about it were ...
A. 31 December 2006: There is not a 50/50 chance you are pregnant. The risk of pregnancy depends on a lot of things. Your best bet is to go to an emergency doctor as soon as possible. You can even go to a casualty/A&E (in the UK anyway) and ask for emergency ... (read in full...)
Is there a toll free number I can call, for my relationship problems?
Q. is there a free phone number i can call to talk to someone about my relationship problems ?...
A. 30 December 2006: People would need to know roughly where you live (country, region) to advise. Google would probably be quicker ...... (read in full...)
He holds grudges against me for a long time, even after I say I'm sorry! Any advice?
Q. My boyfriend has a lot of past issues and we never really argue but when we do, if i say anything nasty, which is purely heat of the moment, no matter how much i say sorry, he carries a grudge for ages, saying that i've really hurt him. i don't ...
A. 30 December 2006: He's told you, you've really hurt him. I'm never been persuaded that things said in the heat of the moment don't matter - I think they are what people really think. You thought it and said it deliberately to hurt him. I have to say I'd have a ... (read in full...)
Why do many females, that have been raped--become sexually active after this crime agianst them?
Q. Look Im at with young females so they ask me this question " Why does female became very sexaulity active after they been rape. So can someone please answer that question for me....
A. 30 December 2006: Do they? Please give us your source. I'm expecting university-level research here by the way.... (read in full...)
I am 14, and showing no signs of puberty. What should I do?
Q. im 14 years old and show no sign of puberty. what should i do...
A. 29 December 2006: This post is from a guy so no breasts is not a problem!
There is a rare syndrome which delays/prevents puberty - dont know a lot about it but it is treatable. However you might just be a late developer. Speak to a doctor, they will be able to ... (read in full...)
It hurts me to think he lies about masturbating!
Q. I am 22 years old and my fiance is 24. We have a healthy relationship, sexual and other. I understand it is normal to masterbate, everyone does it. But it hurts my feelings when he does it and lies about it, and covers it up. He never just does ...
A. 27 December 2006: I don't understand why you expect to be told about it anyway. I'm guessing he covers up because he's embarrassed about having to talk to you about it - engaged or not, you really don't need to know about it. I think the magazines & videos are a ... (read in full...)
How many BJ's on average, is average?
Q. How many blow jobs does the average man get per week ? ...
A. 27 December 2006: Well, I don't know any numbers but I'd guess that if asked, the average man would reply 'not as many as I'd like' ;))... (read in full...)
My bf is in his 30's and he's a bigtime 'Mama's Boy!" How do I deal with this?
Q. Need advise I am dating a man since for a year now. We are both in are 30's,but he is a few years younger than i.I have never ment his mother but by things mentioned she does not agree with this relationship. He is a BIG TIME mamma's boy and admi...
A. 26 December 2006: I don't know what you are getting out of this - not much, by the sound of it. He isn't that bothered and he seems to get what he wants and suits himself. You'd be better off looking for someone who meets your needs, someone who recognises that you ... (read in full...)
There's a sleepover soon, with alcohol. Should we do the nasty?
Q. I'm 15 and i really love this guy. Should i sleep with him? I know he feels the same way. There is a sleepover soon with alcohol and i dont know if things will just happen without me really thinking about it so i want to make my mind up before i go....
A. 24 December 2006: Lots of good advice here which you seem to want to ignore.. just one thing to add. (Though are you a troll?? underage sex, alcohol, bound to raise the temperature round here!)
In any situation involving alcohol, this idea of deciding in advance ... (read in full...)
He keeps going on about his friend who is a model and its making me insecure!!
Q. okay I've been with this guy for a few weeks, but I he's not making me really happy. He keeps saying how gorgeous his friend who is a model is. She just got a lay out in maxim. I feel really bad when he says "She's gorgeous!!". He's also made ...
A. 24 December 2006: I'm sorry you feel lonely - we all get that at times. But a relationship that puts you down is never the best option - it just drags you down as you are finding out. Thing is, during the time you're wasting with him you're not available to meet ... (read in full...)
He cheats on me! How do I get past this because I'm at rock bottom?
Q. I'm at rock bottom at the moment, me and my bf were together nearly a year when he started going out every weekend with him mates. this may not seem out of the ordinary but i at the time was working both friday and saturday night because my boss was ...
A. 24 December 2006: You get past it by not letting it run your life. You've quit your job because of his mother .. get a new job asap. Don't not go out in case you see them - that becomes a pattern. Go out, see your friends, put this guy firmly behind you - you're ... (read in full...)
Our relationship is great! It's his mate - he hates our relationship!
Q. i've been with my boyfriend for a while. We are really happy together. The problem is his friend. He is extremely hateful toward our relationship. He tells people my boyfriend just wanted a girlfriend so he could get sex and I'm probably giving ...
A. 24 December 2006: I don't know if it's any comfort but I suspect that this guy would have a problem with any girl seeing his friend, your boyfriend. In other words, it's not so much you as him.
I think you should stand well back and let them sort it out themselv... (read in full...)
My crazy sister gets home in two weeks... Help!
Q. I am 30 and my sister is 28. My sister is turning into the crazy woman from the film ‘single white female’. She is currently overseas but her return in 2 weeks is making me extremely anxious, almost to the point of panic attacks. She puts on this ...
A. 24 December 2006: Sorry but I don't think you'll get anywhere talking to her.. if she was able to see there is a problem then she'd do something about it. Sounds like she is locked into the behaviour - if she ever grows out of it, it will just disappear.
The o... (read in full...)
How can I ask her out again? I was rejected the last time I asked.
Q. there is this girl i love,when i asked her out the first time she said no,i guess because we were in the crowd.she then stopped talking to me.after me started talking to me.i would like to know how to ask her out a second time and to gain her trust ...
A. 23 December 2006: I don't think you should ask her out again. To be honest, that could start to get creepy for her. It was awkward last time but you have both put it behind you. Leave it there. If she really really wanted to go out with you, she'd ask you. I also ... (read in full...)
My partner says if I keep the baby-I'm raising it on my own! I don't know what to do?
Q. ive been with my partner three and a half years and fell pregnant recently and my partner does not want the baby an dsays if i keep it ill be bringing it up on my own i love this man and dont wont to lose him butknowing i have to get rid of the baby ...
A. 10 December 2006: Lots of reaction here. I'm guessing this is an unplanned pregnancy and you've just found out. As a result he has completely freaked out. You yourself don't know what to do next.
Now, I think we'd tend to support a pregnant woman who didn't w... (read in full...)
Should I contact an actor I've become emotionally attached to?
Q. I really like this guy; he's 10 years older than me. He's an actor; I don't think it's a crush or anything like that. I feel emotionally attached, even though I have never met him. Has anyone else felt like this? I have a chance to contact him, ...
A. 10 December 2006: You can't have an emotional relationship with someone you have never met. You feel attached because he represents something to you but he doesn't even know you exist. You could contact him but most likely you'll be just another star-struck fan. ... (read in full...)
What can I do to stop a married man coming on to me?
Q. Its this guy that I work with who keeps coming on to me because he think he love me. but I dont see him that way and I have told him that so many times he is also married with 3 kids. I told to talk to god about whats going on with him to see why ...
A. 10 December 2006: In a work environment you should be protected. Go to your boss. If he is your boss, go to his boss. ... (read in full...)
A work colleague's wife made an assumption about her husband and me! How do I deal with this?
Q. I was on a business trip last week and ran into a colleague who has been staying at the same hotel...but I did not know that he was. I was having breakfast in the dining hall when he walked in with his wife who had just flown in to join him before ...
A. 9 December 2006: You don't know their history. Best to say nothing to her.... (read in full...)
I want him so nbad, I've settled for just a sexual relationship! I feel so pathetic..what can I do?
Q. I feel so pathetic. My ex-boyfriend from high school (my first love) just came back into my life after I found him online. I got so wrapped up in wanting to be with him again that I settled for a relationship that is only sexual. I tried to get ...
A. 9 December 2006: You've heard it before because it's the only real option. You say he's idealized the perfect girl - you've idealized him. You tracked him down and now you're basically keeping him warm. He isn't doing anything to you in that you're doing it to ... (read in full...)
How can I find out about my dad who left when I was born? My mum shouts when I bring it up!
Q. When I was born, my dad left when I was very young. I can't even remember him. Now, 14 years on, I want to know about him. I want to know all about his life and if I have any brothers and sisters because at present I have none that I know abou...
A. 9 December 2006: In the UK a baby can be registered with no father's name so a birth certificate may not give the answer wherever you are. I'm sorry you are having this problem. For some reason you mum feels bad about her relationship with your father. This could be ... (read in full...)
I want to go all the way, but no girl has ever wanted to. Any pointers?
Q. Hey, I'm an 18 yr. old male. I'm a virgin, and I hang out with the kind of crowd where you don't find many. I'm a college football player, and a talented musician, so most of my friends are pretty popular. I've wanted to go all the way for some ...
A. 9 December 2006: You might be surprised to know just how many around you are virgins too even if they say they aren't. ... (read in full...)
My best friend is hanging out w/ another girl but not inviting me. I'm feeling left out.
Q. i have one friend well i have others but one best friend and we do everything together anytime i go out with someone else she will come or if she does i will come, its lyk we just come together we're very close but recently she has been going out ...
A. 9 December 2006: Sorry, but this is what happens with girls at your age. The combinations of groups come and go and girls do team up and leave others out. Is there anyone else you can team up with yourself to stop feeling so left out? ... (read in full...)
My parents don't get along with my bf and it's driving me crazy!
Q. Hi. I am 21 years old and have been dating my bf (first ever), 23, for almost a year. We've never had any problems or fights or anything, and i know he has a good heart and he treats me well. He loves me very much and i love him too. The only ...
A. 9 December 2006: I think it's time for you to leave home. How about sharing with female friends? Also wonder if your parents would have liked any guy you brought to meet them?... (read in full...)
Is it possible to find out a withheld number?
Q. Ok - does anyone know of a way of finding out the telephone number of someone who has called my mobile - As I didn't answer it, it was listed as a missed call (no number). It wouldn't normally bother me, but I was getting ready for bed @ 1.30am ...
A. 9 December 2006: It could well have a been a wrong number.... (read in full...)
I can't stop flirting with guys. I just need male attention all the time!
Q. I constantly need attention from guys and it is starting to affect all aspects of my life. I have a wonderful boyfriend of 4 years who I love dearly who gives me all the attention in the world, but, yet, I still find the need for attention from ...
A. 8 December 2006: Good that you can see this is a problem - that's half the battle. It might also impact on female friendships - other women could feel that you are pushing them out the way to get to the men. I have known women like that before and like you there ... (read in full...)
I don't know how to act during our split from one another - any advice?
Q. Hi there, My boyfriend has asked me for a break in our relationship. i cried a lot, was v upset and distraught but agreed, as i had no choice. He basiaclly wants to think about whehter I am the one for him long term. if he decides no, i gu...
A. 8 December 2006: Is this a cyber relatonship? Have you ever actually met? If not, I'd say back off and don't look to him for anything, even friendship. Confused as to why you think he would send a letter for some kind of official break-up certificate - he could ... (read in full...)
He hasn't responded back, do you think he's had second thoughts about our friendship?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years, and love him very much. A couple of weeks ago i ran into a guy i used to be friends with ten years ago. He said that he'd like us to meet up as friends (he knows i'm in a relationship). I agreed, but ...
A. 8 December 2006: Sometimes you can meet an old pal and it's great to see them, you realise what fun you had with them and it seems important to not lose touch. After a couple of days though your normal life takes over and they are not part of it. If he had been such ... (read in full...)
I would never have an affair but this online guy I like is married! Should I stop talking to him?
Q. Hi, im in a really weird situation right now. Im 22 and i've had 2 failed relationships, i just ended the last one about a year ago. Just about 2 weeks ago i met this guy online and we begin chatting, he's married and he's also 36 years old. He told ...
A. 8 December 2006: You are 22, please switch off the computer and go out and meet some real guys! Why sit in and sweet talk an older married man all the time? He's looking to fill his time - you should be enjoying life. ... (read in full...)
I have unwanted sexual thoughts and can't escape my past!
Q. Ever since my ex boyfriend i have been getting unwanted sexual thoughts about anyone. I would never ever act on it but i even get them for a kid i babysit who is 1. I think i only get them for him though because when i was 5-7 i got on top of ...
A. 8 December 2006: Please help yourself. As Irish says we've been through this before and a number of us gave you good advice. We can't help beyond that I'm afraid - it's up to you. ... (read in full...)
What do I tell my 4-year-old to keep her safe from strangers?
Q. One day my 4 year old daughter and I were talking about kidnappers after watching a story on the news about a 5 year old little girl that was missing. I told her to watch very carefully because their are a bunch of sick, pervert, weirdos out there ...
A. 8 December 2006: Apparently kids are more at risk from adults known to them. The thing about the boy and the search party sounds like an urban myth - what tired, hungry and scared 3 year old would sit and rationalise about whether or not to answer to his name? I ... (read in full...)
It's been 10 years since we saw each other and I still like him! But I'm too scard to make a move with him online!
Q. hey im 22 and i've liked a guy that i went to school with when i was 10. When we were both 12, he moved away and i never saw him again.I was heartbroken when he left. Since then i've had 2 failed relationships, always in between i've had thoughts ...
A. 7 December 2006: Well, it's wishful thinking. You don't know each other - people change rather a lot in 10 years especially as you were just kids back then. Don't build it into anything in your head because it is just a fantasy at this point, not love. You're not ... (read in full...)
I'm getting a colonoscopy - will the doc know I've partaken in anal sex?
Q. I am getting a Colonoscopy and want to know if the Doctor will beable to tell that i have had anal sex?...
A. 7 December 2006: I agree with the answers below that they have seen it all and don't care. Don't forget that doctors are human and may well have had sex themselves ;)... (read in full...)
Can a guy be with a girl long-term and not cheat on her?
Q. Is it possible for a guy to be with a girl for 3 years and 4 months and not cheat on her??? ...
A. 7 December 2006: Didn't you tell us a few days ago that you regularly go on dates with other guys, though they tend not to call back? You were thinking of dating "a back guy" for "a change" despite having a long-term boyfriend. No wonder you can't believe him, given ... (read in full...)
I know I shouldn't feel rejected when he goes out with his friends - what can I do about this?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 10months, living together for 6months, and when we are together everything is fine. However I am very possessive and every time he tries to go and see his friends I feel rejected, like he is abandoning me. So I sulk ...
A. 7 December 2006: I want to say 'get a life' but I don't mean it so much in a harsh way. He shouldn't be your whole world and it sounds like you are dangerously close to that. A healthy relationship needs time apart. Spend time with your own interests and friends. ... (read in full...)
My BF broke up with me suddenly - was his mum to blame?
Q. I really liked this guy and then we split up suddenly after i heard that his mum said i wasnt right 4 him cause i am stuck up my own arse! which is not true. He's 25 so do u think his mum had anything to do with our split?...
A. 7 December 2006: Only if he lets his mum make all his decisions which at 25 I would hope not. I assume he gave you a reason at the time - I'd stick with that one.... (read in full...)
He doesn't feel the same... how can I get over him?
Q. I've liked a guy for about 2 years and now I think I love him because I cry almost everyday and my heart hurts just thinking of him. I recently told him I had strong feelings for him and he doesnt like me the way I like him. I want to know how do I ...
A. 7 December 2006: You said "I think I love him because I cry every day and my head hurts." Love does not equal pain. I think you are and have been infatuated with him. Unfortunately he doesn't feel the same. You'd do best to keep him out of your life and move on with ... (read in full...)
My mum is coming with me to a health check... will the gynaecologist know I am lying?
Q. Hi everyone! I have to have a complete health check-up when I go home, and my mum's probably going to go with me (even though I'm over 20!!). The thing is that I can't tell my parents that I am sexually active, so I'll have to tell the gynaecol...
A. 7 December 2006: If the gynaecologist was to talk to your mother about you then that would be a severe breach of confidentiality and you would be entitled to make a complaint. I realise you don't want it to come to that but those are the rules the gynae works by so ... (read in full...)
Did I blow things when drunk?
Q. Hi please help!! I have been on a couple of dates with this guy and we got on really well he texted me everyday and said that he really liked me and could talk to me about anything but the last date we went on I got drunk, he wasnt drinking and I ...
A. 7 December 2006: Next time, slow or skip the drinking. You say yourself you can't remember what you said or did. Perhaps he's just not comfortable around people who are that out of it and doesn't want one for a girlfriend. Don't confuse being wasted with having a ... (read in full...)
How can I focus my mental energy without taking on hobbies???
Q. What are some ways to focus your mental energy away from thinking about someone? I'm not looking for things to do e.g hobbies or stuff like that but rather ways to stop spending time looping on useless thoughts whilst doing things....
A. 6 December 2006: Meditation is all about focusing the mind and getting rid of idle thoughts. There is a great deal of info on the web about it. You can take classes depending on where you live, or get a book/tape to help you get started. Stilling the mind in this ... (read in full...)
I'm thinking about the every three month shot
Q. i'm sixteen. My boyfriend and I started having sex a few weeks ago. He's been using a condom, but I think I'd feel better with something that's more effective so I don't get pregnant. I'm thinking about the every three month shot. Anyone have ...
A. 5 December 2006: Yes if you are an organised person who makes plans and isn't likely to forget the next appointment, as some have done unfortunately.... (read in full...)
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