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female
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*jmoonwalker89
writes: I'm at rock bottom at the moment, me and my bf were together nearly a year when he started going out every weekend with him mates. this may not seem out of the ordinary but i at the time was working both friday and saturday night because my boss was away and it meant i couldnt go out with him. he's in the army which means i only get to see him from friday til sunday anyway. i didnt mind cos i knew i wouldnt work friday and saturday for ever and i trusted him going out. then one night he went out with his sister and they had a huge bust up and he didnt come back home, he said he went back with his mates to theirs. We started arguing from then on cos i was annoyed at him going out while i was at work and him dancing with all these random girls, them buying him drinks and god knows what else. When he gets drunk he gets really flirty and horny and i dont trust him when he's drunk. anyway, a week after that it was our year anniversary and we went for a drink after i was at work. things between me and him werent that great and he brought this girl along who he flirted with constantly and stuff. basically, two weeks later i went to stay with my brother and he ended up sleeping with that girl. i'm finding more and more out about what he's done like, when he met her on that night out with his sister he told her he didnt have a girlfriend (even though i thought there was nothing wrong between us), and he cheated on me 7 times that same night. we were getting back together last week and he said he wasnt with that girl anymore cos he'd realised what a big mistake he'd made and he was still in love with me...then i find out a few days ago that he hadnt split up with her, he'd been two timing both of us. i found out cos while he was still asleep in the morning she'd been calling him and texting him asking where he was and why he was ignoring her. so i told him to get out of my life and i've changed my phone number.basically what i'm asking is..... how do i get past this because i'm at rock bottom. I just cant see a way of trusting anyone again. He was the first person i ever loved and he took my virginity. it doesnt feel like the relationship meant anything to him if he can tell someone he doesnt have a girlfriend and then sleep with her. She lives right near me which makes it so much harder because i'm afraid of going out anywhere incase i see them. i've had to quit my job because i worked in the village that he lived in and i worked with his mum. i know things could've been much worse but i just dont know how to move on. we were talking about engagement right before things went wrong i just dont understand his actions.
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anniversary, at work, cheated on me, drunk, flirt, horny, move on, my boss, split up, text Reply to this Question
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female
reader, mjmoonwalker89 +, writes (24 December 2006):
mjmoonwalker89 is verified as being by the original poster of the question it was always him who talked about engagement, he brough it up, he proposed to me after he did it lol. i just dont understand!
A
female
reader, pica +, writes (24 December 2006):
You get past it by not letting it run your life. You've quit your job because of his mother .. get a new job asap. Don't not go out in case you see them - that becomes a pattern. Go out, see your friends, put this guy firmly behind you - you're doing well with that in changing your number and not seeing him. Keep it up. Move on.
To be honest the fact that you were talking about engagement may be partially the cause - he's afraid of settling down. Let him deal with that.
Break-ups are hard and the first big break-up can be especially so. Good luck.
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