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I don't know how to act during our split from one another - any advice?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Breaking up, Dating, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (7 December 2006) 3 Answers - (Newest, 8 December 2006)
A female , anonymous writes:

Hi there,

My boyfriend has asked me for a break in our relationship. i cried a lot, was v upset and distraught but agreed, as i had no choice. He basiaclly wants to think about whehter I am the one for him long term. if he decides no, i guess he will finish it.

He said we will still talk and email ( we live in different countries). I havent contacted him since Sunday, when this happened. He emailed me yesterday and just asked how i was doing, etc, i emailed back a few lines, he then asked for my address so i emailed it to him.

Why would he have wanted my address? Is he going to send me a letter that it is definitely over? How should I act now? Not contact him at all? I want him to remember how nice I am and what a laugh we can have together, so should I call him and be all jokey and fun? Or will that just make him think we are like friends, and therefore better off remaining friends?

Thanks for any advice.

View related questions: a break, different countries

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A female reader, pica +, writes (8 December 2006):

Is this a cyber relatonship? Have you ever actually met? If not, I'd say back off and don't look to him for anything, even friendship. Confused as to why you think he would send a letter for some kind of official break-up certificate - he could easily do that by email or on the phone. Anyhow, don't let him mess you about.

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A female reader, AngelofLove United Kingdom +, writes (7 December 2006):

AngelofLove agony auntThe decision should be up to both of you, not just his.

What kind of relationship do you have with this person as he did not have your address already?

Whether it is to send you a letter or not, whatever will be will be. Wait and see what happens.

If it is to end it, then try to remain strong and move on.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2006):

This won't be easy to hear. Your boyfriend wishes to end the relationship. If he wanted time to think about where it's going, he could have taken that all along. You live in different countries, after all.

So, i believe you need to see this as the first step in your breakup. If you entertain hopes that he may change his mind, you most likely will be disappointed.

Start dealing with the demise of your relationship now. Don't think of ways to win him back, or remind him of how good you were together. He no longer feels this way. Don't waste any more of your time, head space or emotions on him. I'm sorry if this is hard to hear; but he has already left the relationship. He just hasn't said the words to you yet.

Start the rest of your life today; you WILL be happy again, you just have to want it.

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