A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:there is this girl i love,when i asked her out the first time she said no,i guess because we were in the crowd.she then stopped talking to me.after me started talking to me.i would like to know how to ask her out a second time and to gain her trust that i don"t want her for sex.but as a very close friend. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni have not seen her 4 a long time now.i am still trying to get her off my mind.thanks to all those who replied my question.i'm grateful.
A
female
reader, pica +, writes (23 December 2006):
I don't think you should ask her out again. To be honest, that could start to get creepy for her. It was awkward last time but you have both put it behind you. Leave it there. If she really really wanted to go out with you, she'd ask you. I also don't get that you say you love her but don't want sex, just to be a close friend??
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A
female
reader, Nikita  +, writes (22 December 2006):
 hi there. well just be friendly and nice to her but dont pressure her in any way. Treat her like a lady and make it clear that you dont want anything but friendship. when she sees that you've backed off a little, she'll relax and things will hopefully develop gradually and naturally on there own. when you feel there's been enough time and that you've gained her trust again then ask her out again. Suggest doing something you know she likes but make it clear that its not a date as such. You just want to go out with her as a friend and have fun. things may develop more from there then. good luck!x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2006): Well, I think you should just try being friendly and practice something called reflective listening skills. When she talks to you do not make judgement statements about what she just said but try reflecting back to her what she just told you in your own words so that she feels you heard her and can understand and empathize. Give her attention, but don't pressure her by asking her out again or telling her how you feel about her....just be friendly and play it cool until you sense that your feelings are being returned...when she starts laughing at you and touching you lightly, that is your cue to try again.
Good luck bucko.
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A
male
reader, childof1981  +, writes (22 December 2006):
 There is a concept in chess that if you offer a draw and it's rejected, offering again without a substantial change in the board is considered bad form. I think the same applies to dating, unless circumstances have changed substantially just accept that she said no and move on.
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