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female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: i've been with my boyfriend for a while. We are really happy together. The problem is his friend. He is extremely hateful toward our relationship. He tells people my boyfriend just wanted a girlfriend so he could get sex and I'm probably giving it to him. If he calls when my my bf and I are together and asks if my bf wants to do something and my bf says sure come do something with us, he'll say stuff ike "I don't want to do anything with HER, I only want to do something with you". I have never told my bf not to spend time with his friends, he still sees them all the time, with me and without except for this guy. None of his other friends have a problem with me. This guy likes to go out with lots of girls just for a one nite hookup, not to have a relationship. I don't know if he thinks my bf should be like that too or what. What should I do? My bf wants to kill him for the things he says about me and its wrecking their friendship. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 December 2006): There is obviously more to this story, no normal person behaves how your boyfriends friend is behaving.
I must ask - why exactly is your boyfriend still even on talking terms with this guy? Is he really that desperate for friends, how sad that he can't stand up for himself, nor you.
If one of my "friends" spread lies like that they would most certainly not be a friend any longer.
A
female
reader, Wisha  +, writes (24 December 2006):
 Dont let it get to you, the same thing happened to me!!! This guy liked going out and hooking up with one girl for one night, thats it. He got his own way and me and my boyfriend recently split up. :( The only advice i can give is when your boyfriend goes out with this guy, go out with your friends! And trust your boyfriend, make sure he knows tht! Merry christmas :) xxx
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A
female
reader, pica +, writes (24 December 2006):
I don't know if it's any comfort but I suspect that this guy would have a problem with any girl seeing his friend, your boyfriend. In other words, it's not so much you as him.
I think you should stand well back and let them sort it out themselves. If you bf is a decent guy and likes you, this friend will be 'downgraded' if not dropped. Try not to get involved. You say the other mates are fine - they likely get the same treatment from him.
Something I try to remember when I have to deal with someone difficult is that primarily they are unhappy - it really is their problem. I can't fix it, so I'll just be pleasant and go on my way. This friend does sound like he has issues with friendship, dating, sex .. you name it. I'm tempted to say he might have sexuality issues - can't help thinking about that movie 'Chasing Amy'.
Anyway try not to let it get in the way.
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