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*inner3mlt
writes: One day my 4 year old daughter and I were talking about kidnappers after watching a story on the news about a 5 year old little girl that was missing. I told her to watch very carefully because their are a bunch of sick, pervert, weirdos out there who torture and kill innocent little kids every single day. I hated to be so blunt about it with her but I wanted her to understand the mindset of these people. This little girl on the news dissapeard from a park in the middle of the day. Not long before that story I also heard of a little 3 year old boy who wandered out into a forest, where he lived. The thing was that there were search parties looking for this boy within hours and they could not find the little boy. Two days passed and he was found cold, scared, and in need of hospitalization. He heard the people calling his name he told his mom but he also was told to never talk to strangers so he ignored them. I also have told my daughter to never talk to strangers to. But this could have cost this boy his life. So my daughter asked me what should she do if she gets lost, since I have always drilled in her mind that you do not talk to strangers. I sat back and thought long and hard about that question. I came up with that if she ever gets lost and can not find me she should not talk to any men unless she feels he has no choice and it would put her life in danger. I told her that she should find a mother who has children with her, because chances are in your favor that she loves kids and she will help you and keep you from bad people. I hated bashing on men like that but I was wanting to give her the best answear I could because this was one of those answears she would be carry with her for many years and it just might save her life. Is this a good answear? I am sure if a kidnapper wants you he will take you at all costs and in that case this information may not be of value. But if it could save just one child from a predator then I think this answer has its purpose. Is there a such thing a safe stranger and who do you think they are? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2006): I think you might have been a little graphic in your description of the type of people who kidnapp young children, But to be honest it wont really do her any harm to be aware that strangers are'nt always nice.
I think that as long as your children are within eye shot of a sensible and responible adult then there shouldnt really be any room for such incidents. But having said that kidnappings will still happen.
I am all for keeping my son in eye shot no matter where we are, I think that some parents expect too much of thier children at such an early age. I have a 3yr old son and I would never take him to the park and let him run out of sight but I see mothers do this all the time It just makes me on edge. I fear for these childrens safety, I see this sort of thing in my local shopping mall too, children running around an open shop floor and their mother chatting away to a friend and then they realise that their child has gone and this child may have run out onto a busy road a got killed!.
Its just unbelievable, I dont think that children should be allowed out on the street to play until they are at least 7-8, they just dont have the abilty to safely judge situations for themselves until this age.
I know I sound like a crazy mum!!, but even when I am indoors I keep the doors locked so that my son cant escape and get lost in the woods for instance!!, I mean that cant be true Surely!!?.
So as long as you or someone that you trust is watching over your daughter until she is of reasonble age, then nothing bad should happen to her. I do think we put too much enphasis on our children when it comes to "not talking to strangers" if we are watching over our children like we should be then the strangers should'nt get a look in!.
ok I hope I have been of some help and just do what you think is best for your daughter.
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reader, pica +, writes (8 December 2006):
Apparently kids are more at risk from adults known to them. The thing about the boy and the search party sounds like an urban myth - what tired, hungry and scared 3 year old would sit and rationalise about whether or not to answer to his name? I know the world seems to be a scary place but I think it's important not to make kids needlessly afraid.
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reader, TELLULAH  +, writes (8 December 2006):
 Hi
I would think telling your Daughter about this has scared her from leaving your side anyway. Dont you think she was maybe a bit young to hear all that. I know you have to make them safe, but i believe if more parents spent more time with thier kids, instead of letting them play on their own, they would be safer anyway. Of course you cant have eyes in the back of your head, and if someone is dettermined to snatch a child, they will do it. But I do feel that in this world today, we tend to make our children grow up to quickly. Yes make sure she is safe, but be carefull just how you tell them information.
I worked for a long time in pre-school classes, and children are like little sponges, they take more in than you think.
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2006): I think your answer was a good one and very accurate although a lot of men would be okay to talk to you can never be sure,it was good to tell her that a women with kids would be the safest bet as it is quite true,although not in all cases i do however think it inappropriate that you told your daughter that there a: "bunch of sick, pervert, weirdos out there who torture and kill innocent little kids every single day".It would perhaps have been more suitable that some strangers might steal you from home if you talk to them and they would never let you go home,or they might even kill you(However the kill part might be too dramatic for a 4year old so perhaps leave it out?)I also think you have to be careful being so blunt and truthful as your daughter may be haunted by these ideas in her dreams and every day life
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