A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Two guys in my life: one educated, has money, basically of good status been dating for close to one year, but not caring, loving ever busy, no time for us. The other one, not educated, not well off. 10 years older, has kids but separated with mother of kids. He is loving, caring and respectful and supportful both want marriage. I am confused, what should i do?
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks guys for your answers.it feels good to talk to someone.am abit relieved, coz you have widened my thinking. now to answer a few questions that came up in your responses. i want to marry. i have no kids from anywhere, and honestly am into the non educated one, but my colleagues at work and society am living in were discouraging me from continuing with him, but non was giving any reason different from status related.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2007): Well if you are confused, I wouldn't marry either of them. You should marry a guy who you have absolutely not a single doubt in your mind that he is THE ONE. Obviously neither one of these guys is making you feel that way. Are they the last two men in the world?? I don't think so cause there are alot of men in the world.
So don't marry either of them! It's that simple. You are so young, just move on and find someone you are crazy about. Keep your options open. Why settle?? I just don't understand your reasoning. I mean I have never been faced with a marriage proposal but I have definitely been in situations where two or more guys want me and I didn't like either and so I MOVED ON.
You really should try to be more keen on knowing exactly what you want in life. I mean either you love one of them or you don't love either of them and if you don't, MOVE ON.
I mean do you really have so little love for yourself that you would settle into a marriage you are not even sure of?? When you love yourself you want what's best for you. And that means holding out for "mr. right" even if it means rejecting all the "mr. wrongs." C'mon be more assertive and more keen on knowing what you want out of life.
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A
female
reader, samohir  +, writes (6 December 2007):
 Thats decision that should be based only on Your thoughts and feelings.
You didnt mentioned Your feelings and thoughts? Do you special inclination toward 1 or 2 ?
Maybe you still cannot decide so better to wait,Thats only suggestion. But if you want get married, than choice one who YOU like ... To be more precise, The one you think you would be happier with, depending on your priorities on life.
If you feel comfortable only with material things than Go for the 1st, If you think that you need more Love support and Caring and somehow both can manage with financical issues Go for the second.
Sopme people can really be satisfied with no so much money in their life, and some Not. Look where You re standing!
Good Luck
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2007): You are the only one to decide. I have known women who married for "love" and became disappointed with the day to day struggle with meeting all the needs. The husband knows this, of course, and knows the wife is wondering if she made the right choice. That is a terrible thing for a man. So, be sure of your choice. And never look back, whichever it is. Rich and unhappy can be worse than struggling but happy.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2007): Love rules first every time with me. You will struggle for money, but so what, i have always struggled in life. You shouldnt push him away because of his background. Never choose someone because of their money status. My friend did that, the bloke turned out to be a greedy pig who wouldnt even buy her a meal out. sorry, but there is no contest here.
take care
xx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2007): You should go for the one that is caring and loving. Money and education are all very well and are useful in life but life has a lot of ups and downs and you need someone who will stand by you and think about you and what you need. If you go for money and status you will feel lonely but the one that cares would never leave you feeling like that. Of course if you don't like either of these people you should marry neither and wait for someone who makes you happy..thats the most important thing.
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A
female
reader, pgissyd  +, writes (6 December 2007):
 ok, so a cold marrage with money, or a warm marrage struggling like the rest of the world? seems easy to me xxxx
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