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Upon meeting up with him--I got shy and awkward. I think it put him off! How do I deal with this?

Tagged as: Dating, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (30 December 2007) 3 Answers - (Newest, 15 January 2008)
A female United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

Well, this old classmate and i who never talked back in school recently started talking online. we got quite close, it was quite apparent we liked each other's company, although until now, i was convinced both of us just considered each other just friends. He suggested we meet up when we were both in the city together and we did. except, I got really awkward and he eventually tired of trying good conversation. Now its really weird for us, and i want to show him that i take a while to get comfortable while meeting someone, and that he should give me another shot. If he didnt really like me, why is he being all disappointed right now?

how do i get back to how we were and salvage my pride at the same time? i really do like his company and miss him.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2008):

hey, i wrote the question..

the funny thing is, i'm not sure it was even a date. anyway. he's not talking to me now. he's just a jerk right?

i mean, who stops talking to a girl after they meet her?

PS: i'm not THAT unpretty. :)

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A reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2007):

umm. this is a hard situation, next time you meet you should bring both your friends

then the situation will be less awkward as others are talking

explain to him you are the same person and you will be after a short while of meeting, if he doesnt want to meet you again he obviously isnt worth it. xx

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A female reader, pgissyd United Kingdom +, writes (30 December 2007):

pgissyd agony auntYour chatting to him online right? Then write to him saying your really sorry about how awkward it was, you were just really really shy that night, and you would love to try again sometime. Explain how you feel for him, and maybe give him some tips on how to make you feel more comfortable or perhaps ask him of he knows any tips on relaxing.

Most of all, ask to try again, somewhere its more relaxed, make sure there is a purpose to your meeting, so instead of meeting in the park and taking it from there, go to a theme park together, go on some rides, have fun and things will flow better. You will have something to talk about right there, you will have rides to argue over and he can show off at the fair ground.

movies are pointless as you cannot talk and physical intimacy is almost expected, going for a walk on a first date isnt a great idea, although it works for some, as it means you have to find things to talk about.

Find a mutual interest and go do it together, be it a day at the races, go carting, horseback riding or a theme park. if your doing something active together then you wil always have a topic to talk about when your mind blanks.

Hope that helps a little.

Take care and keep us updated.

x

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