A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriends sister is coming to visit in two weeks. When we were discussing where she was going to sleep he said in our bed. He does not want his sister to sleep in the guest room because he doesn't want his sister to have to sleep in there. He stated that she will sleep in our bed and he will sleep in the guest room. I am having an issue with a few things. First, he totally left me out of that equation, where am I going to sleep? As long as his sister is comfortable and okay, the who cares about anyone else. I'm wondering if I will always be put third, after his mom and sister? Will it always be like this and I am just going to have to deal with it? Im sad and confused and I need some ones help who knows more about this stuff than me. Help! Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Jamer70  +, writes (9 December 2007):
 well not being rude i think your being a little selfish here. Its his sister here, shes staying a little while, and its proberly not often. He wants to treat her right, aas shes family (not saying your not) So he wants to put her in the nice room. As its only for a little while, i think you shold just go along with it, or even help make the guest room nice enough for her to sleep in. But thinking he is putting his family before you in a trivial matter like this is petty.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2007): Same happened to me but i understood that he really wanted to please his sister who visits once a year or less. I did not make a big deal out of it and it was not a big deal.
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A
female
reader, pgissyd +, writes (9 December 2007):
 my mother in law always sleeps in our bed too, when she visits. But I dont mind so much, its only for one night. Have you asked him where your expected to sleep? Have you offered to make the spare room nicer for his sister? new sheets, maybe a lick of paint, remove excess clutter and so on? maybe he would be less reluctant to let her stay in there if it was nicer??
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2007): Maybe you should discuss it with him and explain to him that you'd like to be involved in the decision making as well. What's wrong with his sister sleeping in the guest room, it is after all a "guest" room and his sister will be the guest. Especially if his sister is visiting alone and not with a partner. I'd say stop it now, sort it out with him, or he'll just keep making decisions without regarding your thoughts and feelings.
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