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female
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*arcy61
writes:An old relationship is in the process of being renewed. He says he wants to keep it casual, but is constantly saying and doing things that don't define casual. He comes over several times a week, sometimes, twice a day. If I don't call him, he comes flying over to find out if I'm alright, calls me by endearing names, tells another female acquantance that he's involved with someone (me), jokingly tells a mutual male friend that he doesn't like him hugging his "woman" and abruptly disappears inside. Refers to sex and "sweet loving". Is it wishful thinking or is he more into this relationship than he's willing to admit? Like an idiot, I am in love with him and have been for 20+ yrs. Somebody help me out. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2013): At this point I think you truly need to define the relationship.
If he says he wants casual then tell him straight up to ACT casual and do keep your options open for someone who will actually want to spend time with you as your man. :)
Good luck! :)
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (26 April 2013):
 it's wishful thinking on your part OP. You are in love with him and want way more than he's willing or able or wants to give you so you cling to every thing and try to make it fit your needs.
nothing he is saying or doing reeks of seriousness.
I have one rule about men that say they want to keep it casual... BELIEVE THEM.
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reader, CindyCares  +, writes (26 April 2013):
 I think it's wishful thinking, OP, if it's more than 20 years that you are in love with this guy, I suppose you are both well into your adulthood, if he was really into this relationship and wanted something serious with you, why would he be playing juvenile games, why would he not just date you exclusively , why would he say he wants it casual, with the risk of sending you straight off into the arms of the next guy who has a little bit more to offer you ? Why would he spoil it, why would he risk losing you by telling you he wants less when in fact he wants more ?
The things you mention , too, do not strike me as love declarations. I mean, it's nice that he feels comfortable and cozy with you so he feels free to come over often- but , in fact, I think that in terms of being serious with you, it would be more telling if he'd see you maybe less, once a wek or so, but he'd take you out on regularly planned in advance and regularly respected dates, as it is it just means that he comes over when he's got time to kill, mayb he's just got plenty of time on his hands, which is nice but not a love proof.
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2013): Yeah it's wishful thinking.
OP we guys are incredibly honest when it comes to tempering expectations.
It's only the "I love you, you're everything I ever wanted, I want you forever" stuff that you have to be careful of.
When it comes to not telling you what you want to hear, we are 100% honest.
He said it's only casual that's all it is. Seriously OP he means what he says and he wouldn't have said it if he wanted something serious with you, he wouldn't have spoiled it that way and risked losing you by saying "only casual".
OP don't get your hopes up, he's made himself clear that this is all you're going to get.
All these signs and things are just what FWB's do. If you don't treat the meat around the pussy with kindness and attention then the you lose the pussy.
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reader, Glacier  +, writes (26 April 2013):
- Actions speak louder than words -How long is this renewal of your relationship going on?Give it a bit more time.
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male
reader, peanut_gallery +, writes (26 April 2013):
Well, regardless of how into this relationship he is, his means of expressing it seem erratic and juvenile. Hopefully, he isn't like this in other areas of his life.
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