A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:My husband and I have been married for 24 years and have always had an active sex life together, at least 3 to 4 times a week even while he's been truck driving and is only home 3 nights a week, it's still 3-4 times a week. In all these years I can only remember having an orgasm without some kind of stimulation to cause it maybe a dozen times if that. Usually I can only orgasm if my clitoris is stimulated but never with just him inside of me naturally. In the past 2 years I've noticed that even with all that I try, toys, watching movies with him, having sex scene fantasies in my mind during sex, I'm now finding that it takes so long before I can actually climax. I always do have an orgasm but it takes so long to get me there and I'm worried this might bother him too. But I noticed he takes longer to orgasm too! Is it our age? We're mid forties. He also wants me to tell him my fantasies aloud during and I've finally started doing that and it helps him but not me. What is wrong with me? What is wrong with my body? It is so frustrating, nothing seems to turn me on anymore, is it because I fantasize to myself or play with myself too much? What can I do to try to not only speed up the time it takes but to also be able to orgasm with just him and nothing else? Please help!
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clitoris, orgasm, sex life Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Caring Aunty A  +, writes (8 May 2013):
 Yes well I’d like to find that bastard who designed it that way myself. I don’t remember signing an agreement to close this shop up early! HA! Not that it was a convenience store 24/7 or a shopping trip once a week… But this men-o-pause it’s called that for nothing? Anyhow, it’s like nature showing us our bodily season is approaching winter… BRRRR! Get a rug and not a rub :)Luckily for some of us we’re still in the autumn phrase as I call it (Peri-menopausal); where if you get your blood circulating (walking) and health in order (diet) this may postpone the inevitable for a little while longer and helps you no matter what… However there’s also genetics that plays a part. Now if you’re getting yourself frustrated etc, this in itself it’s going to do you any good. Here some female friends of mine are on HRT which has significantly helped their marital Sex-life. Perhaps it’s worth a try? You may like to try exercising as mentioned to increase blood follow and stimulate those brain chemicals. Or seek natural remediesMeanwhile the brain is the biggest sex organ, so the more you clutter it with worry, frustration and not accept ‘certain’ changes it will shut it down a lot quicker than desired.Take Care – CAA
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (7 May 2013):
 Yep welcome to middle age.... I can only have orgasms from clitoral stimulation and it has to be very precise so it's not something my partner can give me... and even I have found that it takes me longer and longer... my BFF is 6 years older than I am and she told me, "yep, getting THERE gets harder and harder"
gawd it sucks doesn't it?
there is nothing wrong with you or your body... you could talk to your gyn and see if they want to run hormone tests to determine where in peri-menopause you are... I'm 53 and just finishing up...
btw I masturbate if not daily than at least 4 times a week... it just takes more time as we age...
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A
male
reader, peanut_gallery +, writes (7 May 2013):
It isn't crazy to imagine that you may be less horny since you play with yourself. All people are different but since you aren't getting turned on as much, you may wish to lay off the masturbation and see if that helps.
Are your masturbation fantasies the same ones you share with your husband?
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (7 May 2013):
 Welcome to "middle age."
Now, print out this submittal and show it to hubby... and tell him that you believe that you and he need to work on your love-life... so that BOTH OF YOU have a good and active one...... After all... it IS possible....
Good luck....
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