A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'm in an awkward situation with my neighbours and need advice...My husband and I live in an area whereby none of the houses have a garage and there is only 1 car space in the drives. There is an alternate parking area which is 10 minutes walk away.This doesn't affect us as we have 1 car that we share. Our neighbours on the other hand have 2 cars and 1 of them has to use the parking area so my husband and I agreed that they could use our parking space when we aren't in. My husband and I work for the same company and travel a lot so usually we are away 2-3 nights a week and those are the days the neighbours can use our space.This was all working out ok until 2 months ago.... My husband and I went abroad for 10 days and before we left I spoke to our neighbours - letting them know they could use our drive (we were taking our car to airport) and gave them the date and time we'd be back. I even text them both 2 days before advising them of when we were coming back and they responded.Now when we got back it was around 9.30pm and we noticed their car was still in our drive. We had 2 suitcases, hand luggage and duty free bags so we needed our drive back in order to unload our stuff- otherwise we would have happily parked in the other area and walked over.When I knocked on their door and asked If he could move his car he said " you want me to move it now?!" I was polite and explained about our luggage etc and he reluctantly moved it. I found it all a bit odd as he knew we were arriving back that day!What we have now noticed is that he and his wife both avoid us... They don't stop and chat and if they see us the head inside.My husband thinks maybe we shouldn't have asked them to move their car but I disagree- it's out drive and we needed it back! I wasn't rude to our neighbour and I still text them to let them know when they can use the drive but the never respond.... I don't fancy getting in to a confrontation with them but I don't think we did anything wrong... Any advice? Thanks.
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 May 2013): I think you were nothing but nice and considerate. They sound a little rude actually, and they also sound like they are taking advantage of your kindness.
But what is the question..not sure what you are after.
A
female
reader, Caring Aunty A  +, writes (8 May 2013):
 They responded to your text, knew when you’d be returning and still had the cheek to feel inconvenienced and give you the cold shoulder on top of it!Given that we’d like to get along with our neighbours; how good were these people prior to this incident? Do you see this as temporary break, malfunction in there human behaviour? How important is there neighbourly friendship to you?Meanwhile for them to act sheepishly – avoidant means they’re at fault… So until they get a grip on their issue you are best to remain cordial and none perplexed about their guilt and grudge. Don’t take on their maladjustments as your own.Eventually all things will subside in time, after all they’re the ones losing out on parking space!?Take Care – CAA
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (8 May 2013):
 Looks like this is a single incident that has taken on a life of its own. There's plenty of "ungraciousness" that took place.... and so anyone can open the dialogue to cancel out what happened. By that, I mean:
1. Your neighbors were "wrong" to have had their car in your spot when you returned.... You felt it was best to ask them to move it, then.
2. You could have parked your car behind their's, briefly, for as long as necessary to unload it... then moved it to the available spot which is walking-distance away..... You chose not to do this....
So... print this "reply" out and show it to your neighbors. Ask them: "Do you suppose we should continue our estrangement? .... or, do you think we would do better to apologize to one-another and get on with life?"
Good luck....
P.S. If they opt for the continued estrangement, take the bottle of wine that you had in a bag, and go home. IF they opt for the joint apology, reveal the wine and go in and have a laugh about how this incident blew out of proportion.....
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (8 May 2013):
 Perhaps they are avoiding you because they are embarrassed at their rudeness?
Stop texting them at this point and ignore them back.
They actually should have moved their car timely and should be giving you a GIFT of some sort for your kindness in letting them use your space.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 May 2013): give people an inch and they take a mile! sadly its often best not to offer in these situations, ur fella is crazy to say you shouldnt ofasked them to move their car. its your space!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 May 2013): You're definitely in the right, but the question is how you're going to live next door to these people comfortably. No point letting things escalate or get unpleasant. They're ignoring your texts and avoiding face to face contact. If it were me (and I'm sure most would disagree) I would put a little card through their door with some small gift/chocolates from the holiday destination. I would NOT mention the car in the driveway, I'd say, 'Hi Sally and Mark, not had a chance to catch up properly since we got back - brought this back from Greece for you - Enjoy!'This will let them know there are no hard feelings, and let them know it's OK to face you again. Let's face it, you ALL know who is right, but backing down is hard. This gives them a way out. I'm British and I think this would work for British neighbours.Good luck
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A
female
reader, Honeygirl  +, writes (8 May 2013):
 It sounds like you inconvenienced them by coming back home and getting them to move their car.
These people are jerks and are not your friends. Why do you think you might get into a confrontation with them - just ignore them, stop all contact. They are making you feel guilty for something they have done.
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A
female
reader, Got Issues +, writes (8 May 2013):
 I would just stop texting them to tell them they can use your driveway. Let them see your empty driveway and wonder if you've just gone out for the evening or for several days. They were clearly in the wrong and were rude about it. And holding a grudge for two months? Pathetic.
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A
male
reader, peanut_gallery +, writes (8 May 2013):
I'm amazed that you would even let something like this trouble you. You give them your driveway to use during your absence and then they complain? What possible motivation would that leave you to EVER let them use it again?
If they aren't embarrassed to act like absolute asses, you should have no second thoughts about telling them that they have abused your kindness and consideration.
I wouldn't let those jerks ever park in my driveway again. Long term, it's for the best that they are avoiding you. I wouldn't want them near me anyway.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim +, writes (8 May 2013):
 You did nothing wrong. They may be embarressed that they had to be asked to move out of YOUR driveway.
If you are going away for another protracted trip just do as you did before, let them know when you are leaving and when you are returning, let them know you are doing this just in case they would like to use the space in your absense.
If they need to be asked to move their car again when you return, then ask them to move it and for any trips after that don;t offer them the space.
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A
female
reader, Brokenv  +, writes (7 May 2013):
Personally I think your neighbours are a-holes. You gave them the time date etc for them to not be in your lane and they ignored it. I wouldn't want them as friends let alone neighbours.
You seem like a nice couple who can have lots of considerate friends. Don't worry about them. I wouldn't offer the space to them again and back away from any kind of relationship except politeness.
Good Luck!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 May 2013): Stop texting them.
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