A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My Gf and I have been dating for 7months. Im 19 and she's 20. 2 days ago her ex and some of his friends were in her city and asked her out. The very last minute she left, she told me she'd stay the night with them. (at the time i didn't know her ex would be there as well). The day after she said she'd go out with them again, but be home by 11pm. But she stayed the night anyway, without telling me. I texted her and sent her a short email, but she doesn't respond to any. I barely heard from her the last 2 days. I trust she won't (physically) cheat on me. But i feel unconfortable about it. I don't really know what to do. I know i don't need to accept this. But i just don't want to lose her.. what should i do?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 May 2013): No Hurt feelings but just imagine how many steamy and erotic moments your g/f and her ex might have had for sure before you met her well past is past but your g/f going back again to spend the night with her ex and you believing she did nothing is like keeping a fresh meat infront of an unleashed dog and expecting it not to eat it. And you said she didnt respond to your emails or calls most probably shows that she really dnt give a damn about you cos if she did she would have kept in touch with you by anymeans . In my opinion all this time she was using You to get back to her ex whom she still loves and seriously with the amount of trust You have in her she really by all means dont deserve you and you deserve someone better. Move on dont hurt Yourself.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (3 May 2013):
 Cheating is more than sex. Emotional cheating in my opinion is worse.
You say you don't' want to lose her but what are you losing? a girl who making you nervous about the relationship? a girl who you clearly don't trust or believe?
You have good reason to not trust. IF I had to spend the night with my ex nothing would happen but I would be calling my husband BEFORE it happened. WHILE it was going on and as I was on the way home. IF i had no choice but to stay I would be the one being apologetic.
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A
male
reader, peanut_gallery +, writes (3 May 2013):
You are right to feel uncomfortable and she probably knows this will make you feel uncomfortable. Would you put her in such a position?
Just because you have been going out for 7 months doesn't mean she is yours to lose.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2013): The biggest single issue is to develop trust in a relationship with open and honest communication. Did you both agree to a single monogamous relationship involving only you two? If you did she broke the agreement. Simple as that. But I suspect you don't have such a agreement and probably never talked about dealing with previous relationships and x boyfriends,x girlfriends. So your next step with her if she magically reappears and plays stupid or acts like nothing has happened is to ask her if she was intimate with her x. If she does answer you then make a decision. But I believe you don't have a leg to stand on because you and her are not a mutually exclusive item. I even believe she will lie full knowing she might be able to snow ball you with her sniffling bull shit story. You decide, as a women who is in a successful relationship with one man only I believe she is a cheat and will always be one. Much like a drug addict or drunk. With my present boyfriend we have a lot of trust and there was this big grad party but I couldn't go. I told him to go but he said he didn't want to go because the last time he went to a year end party his old girlfriend was there and got tanked and grabbed him in the crotch. Why am I saying this? Because my boyfriend is sensitive of course but he knows that he doesn't want to put any road blocks up in our relationship. He also knows what I don't like in our relationship and that is another women touching, feeling or grabbing my man. So out of consideration he just said he would take our dog for a long walk and grab a star bucks after and go to bed early. Do you get what I am trying to say to you? Boy girl love each other. Boy out of consideration for girl avoids any potential situation by making a comprise he didn't have to do at all. Girl happy at end and boy will get his just reward. Why couldn't your girlfriend out of consideration for you avoided the situation she got herself into? She didn't because she is selfish. She didn't because she doesn't really hold much value in your present relationship with you. She didn't because in all likely hood you both didn't set agreeable boundaries in your relationship. She didn't because she is more than likely a lie and cheat. What should you do? Tell this hoe; honey its over you can go back to your x again. Move on with your life learning that from this experience you have to establish and earn trust in a relationship. Once that is done you have to set boundaries. The yes and no of how both of you will react in public, separately and together. Move forward and do better in your future relationships.Good-luck...
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (2 May 2013):
How do you know she won't cheat on you? Many good people cheat when they put themselves in a position to, and spending the night with her ex is cheating just waiting to happen.
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