A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Every now and then I go on my boyfriends computer to use it and sometimes I find screen shots of him skyping with girls who are showing their ass to him and stuff like that. Or conversations of him having "online sex" if you will, with random people he finds off of chat roulette or something. I confronted him about it today and he said he's had issues with porn even way before he met me.This honestly disgusts me and makes me feel horrible about myself. Like I'm not good enough for him. I also feel like him doing that is a form of cheating. Idk.I don't know what to do about it. I feel absolutely disgusting Can someone help me?
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (9 May 2013):
 Porn is NOT caming. PORN is not INTERACTION with live people.
I don't care if my hubby looks at pictures or watches videos... but I would draw the line at LIVE interaction with others.
THIS is not a reflection on YOU being good enough. It never is.
IF he can't or won't stop the live action activity I would consider leaving if you can.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 May 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks guys. nothing is too good right now. we got into a terrible argument yesterday and he ended up spending the night at his friends place. i'm really sad right now and i don't know how to handle all of this.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 May 2013): If you have a problem with this, which I totally understand why you would, your only options are to accept it or leave. You can't make him change. He has to want to on his own, and it doesn't sound like he does. Also, looking at porn is one thing, actually interacting with women is another. If you keep after him, the only thing he'll do is start hiding his online activities better. I only kind of agree with the poster who said it's about the actions and not the women. I'm sure that's true for some men, but in the case of the OP's boyfriend, I'd say it's both. After all, if he's getting off on some woman showing her ass for him, it's her he's lusting after in that particular moment then, no? Also, what about guys who search for one porn star in particular? Obviously that means they lust for the woman they're seeking.
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A
male
reader, peanut_gallery +, writes (9 May 2013):
He does what he does. This is not about you. It has nothing to do with you not being good enough and there is no reason as to why you should feel horrible about yourself.
You can talk to him and invest the time and effort (and all that this entails) it will require to make him stop or you tell him it is time to part ways.
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A
female
reader, xAx  +, writes (9 May 2013):
 In my opinion, live cam is cheating as there's actual communication and interaction.
He says he has issues...what issues?
To me, it sounds like it would be hard to stop completely. I think you two should compromise. He sticks to non live porn and you accept it.
Also, personally I've had problems with my boyfriend too. I know it's hard to get your head around, but 'normal porn' has nothing to do with you. Men have bad imaginations and need images so that they can wack off quicker, this could mean from being 30 minutes to 5 minutes. Some men just need a release. And porn helps to provide that. Also, it's the action they're getting off to, not the women.
I hope you sort things out.
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