A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I have been in a second time around relationship with a passive aggressive man. I understand he will not take responsibility for his actions, and will simply be contrary in order to evade "giving in" to me.He had insisted that we become engaged in order to build trust, but now, over time, he has gotten me to back down on all of the important issues we had agreed upon at the point of engagement. I have come to resent his manipulations, and broken off with him.I don't think he realizes that he is taking out his anger on me. He just says that all relationships are like this, but I don't believe that.I believe that there are men out there who will talk through and try ernestly to understand the point of view of their woman, and also, not break important promises.The promises that I speak of are for 2 examples:-During our breakup, he had another woman. I told him I wouldn't be intimate with him until he was tested for STDs. I did not have another relationship during that year and half. We have been "engaged" for four months, and there has been no intimacy. I won't because I am afraid of an STD and also know that I won't enjoy it because of that fear. He blames the lack of intimacy on me, and says that he has an "instinct" that I don't want to do it with him.-He told me that he would move down to where I live (a beautiful beachfront community) and find work here so that we could be together. I have asthma, and near his home there is a foundry. I can't move there for health reasons, even if I wanted to give up my forested surroundings. He went back to work within two months with the same company, which means he works 3 hours away from where I live again. He now insists that I move there, and says I am being inflexible.I am really hurting, because I had broken with him once, after 2 1/2 years, spent a year apart, then had him come back asking for us to marry and that he would come here to be with me. I accepted on those terms. I am distraught, and lonely, and don't have much family.What family I have would have no sympathy because of my previous stint with this man, so have no one to talk to.I feel stupid and useless, like a worm who has no self respect or value. How can I get myself straight?I should have known better.
View related questions:
engaged, std Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, peanut_gallery  +, writes (30 April 2013):
So, you are lonely and don't have much of a support system, therefore you have to be with this "less than stellar" guy?
I think your reservations are correct and the stupid thing is to allow your insecurity to lead you back to a questionable relationship. You live where you live and obviously wish to stay there. Find someone local.
|
