A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey guys. How do you deal with people you really dislike?Basically, there is a girl who is the girlfriend of a friend of mine. Not only does she always cheat on him and treat him really badly, but she also knows my boyfriend, and she is always all over him as well and never leaves him alone. She flirts a lot with a few guys who are close friends of mine also and it's just really annoying how she is all over everyone all of the time.She has basically been bullying me since she met me and has a really mean personality. She would always say mean things to me right to my face and always tries to harass me online. I know the simple solution would be to just ignore her but with her dating my friend and flirting with my boyfriend and my friends etc, it's really hard to ignore her or even avoid her. How should I deal with my strong dislike for her?
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (30 April 2013):
 Give us an example, OP, we can run a little role play for you.
"Awwwww, poor poor Sally, feeling bad about yourself again? Have to pick on people to feel better? Well, if life is that rough, I'm sure you need some sort of outlet for your rage and aggression. Pity it seems to be me, but I'm a big girl and have been taking it from you for a while.
"So, what seems to be the problem today?"
Kill her with kindness, drown her in syrup, float her in bubble bath…
I'm sure the aunts who have responded would love to coach you a little in this.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (30 April 2013):
 I love the kill her with kindness routine.... works great as it confuses them, takes the wind out of their sails and gives you the upper hand.
can't be a mean girl with no one getting upset by it.
I'd laugh at her... "really, that's the best you got? keep trying sweetie, you'll get it right one of these days." and keep going.
and for all things block her online... no need to see her crap. Take away her power... no power to upset you, no fun in her game, no fun in her game, she finds a new game.
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A
male
reader, peanut_gallery +, writes (30 April 2013):
Just outclass her. That shouldn't be too hard! If your friend and boyfriend can't see her for what she is, perhaps you should start hanging around more perceptive people.
I realize that sounds a bit harsh but if her boyfriend puts up with that treatment and if your boyfriend doesn't ask her to stop, why should you be upset?
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (30 April 2013):
 "Kill" her with kindness, that way SHE gets to look like a total twat in front of others.
If you are alone with her, ignore her.
Keep her off your Facebook and anything else. Block her or whatever you need to do.
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A
female
reader, largentsgirl89 +, writes (30 April 2013):
 Full on confrontation is one option. Call her out on all of her bs. The cheating, treating him badly, harassing you and flirting with your boyfriend.
Girls like this are usually really immature and insecure to the point that they always need to have the attention on themselves.
I personally would ignore her and laugh at her antics, but then confront her if that didn't work.
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A
male
reader, TrancedRhythmEar  +, writes (30 April 2013):
 Ill be real. You need to grow some balls n tell her to f### off without caring how she or others react. U need to look out for number one. Dont play that passive ill put a fake smile on when shes around BS. Deal with this right. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (30 April 2013):
 Block her online so she cant harass you - at least that will give you some peace when she isnt around!
If she is mean to your face then you have a few choices:
1. Laugh in her face and either a) walk away or b) say 'your pathetic, have you not got anything else to say?"
2. As soon as she walks over to you turn around and walk away
3. Be mean back to her - she needs to learn to take the abuse back if she is giving it out, as you get older if you are mean to someone chances are they will give it straight back so the saying 'give as good as you get' will come into play.
If I were you, I'd go with option 1 and laugh at her when she is nasty and then just walk away. That will really hurt her, bullies are mean to people to make themselves feel better so if she realises that you just think she is funny and pathetic then she will know that she is not hurting you so her comments are pointless.
I'm not the sort of person that could ever be nasty to someone's face so I couldnt personally do option 3. Equally with option 2 its not enough, walking away wont hurt her enough to make her stop so laughing at her and making her feel silly for her nastiness is your best option. I'd just laugh at whatever she says to you and say 'ok whatever' and walk away. When she figures out that she doesnt bother you and what she says doesnt hurt you, it will take the fun out of it for her.
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