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... Send *Jmomabear a private message | | | *Jmomabear's profile:Everyone always comes to me for advice. I would never steer anyone wrong. My outlook on life is unique and abstract, I usually see what most people can't but I am not immune to being blinded by love either.
I got married in Vegas on 7-7-07. I live in central NJ but am well-traveled and have been in many long term relationships. I've studies psychology, philosophy. I had high honors in my science classes. I have a very analytical mind. I can be a little harsh with the truth, but I always just call it as I see it. That you can count on me for. |
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How do I cope with my fears about my future?
Q. Hello i am from lebanon 21 years old in a seriours relationship with a girl for 1 year we love eachs others so much and we live in same country all this seems good even i cant see her alot cz of her parents and the distance ... i am studying ...
A. 13 December 2007: If your studying to be in accounting, don't worry you will be fine. It takes a while to find the right fit since all accounting jobs seem to be drastically different from place to place (bet nobody told you that huh)
Love is love and if she is your... (read in full...)
What are these 2 lumps on my vagina?
Q. hi, i really need some help, i know you are not doctors and stuff, but i have noticed a lump, about the size of 2 peas entwined, on the right hand side of my vagina, it isn't painful to touch but i don't know what it is. i am not currently sexually ...
A. 13 December 2007: Do you shave down there? I have gotten skin tags from shaving. If they don't itch it could be regular HPV. I would definately have the doc take a look. You just never know.... (read in full...)
My life was great until I met him...and fell in love! Now that he's gone-I can't get back to my old life! Help?
Q. I'm a single woman, mid fifties, - I look after myself, make the most of myself and am confident I look good. I have a great job which I enjoy, grown up children who I have a great relationship with, and a circle of good, close friends. So, what's ...
A. 13 December 2007: Oh dear... You are right on about getting a glimpse of what you would like to have. No matter how you or anyone else tries to rationalize it as right or wrong, the void still exists. Even though he wasn't secure and stable enough ... (read in full...)
Can you tell me what my dream meant?
Q. Hi well i got this dream that came out to be really akward to me cause it was about me having a BoyFriend but i wouldn't go aginst my religion so basically i wouldn't do anything like that so then i don't get why i'm getting this dream its about a ...
A. 17 November 2007: I think it's pretty simple. Subconsciously you want more contact with this or a person and since you refuse to let yourself, you are living out your secret wishes in your dream. I think the hate in the dream stems from sexual frustration. You ARE 18 ... (read in full...)
Every day I put on a brave face and go out with my family and friends but it's getting harder to cope with the break up. Help!
Q. I broke up with my ex two months ago we were together almost 5years, I thought I was coping, but now im not so sure. Everything I do reminds me of him,and im constantly thinking about the past, it just seems that we were together for so long, and ...
A. 17 November 2007: The best thing I can tell you is stay focused on why you left him and over time your heart will start to believe your mind. Find new things or old things you love to do and let it consume you. Go help people less fortunate or take up a hobby, ... (read in full...)
Since he married me, he doesn't seem to consider my needs in the bedroom. What can I do?
Q. I was recently married 4 weeks ago and our sex life has gone down hill. Since I said I do the sex lasts about 30 seconds and he doesnt care about my needs. I have told him that I have needs to. So he says we will have to have sex twice. After the ...
A. 13 October 2007: Just dont let him in until 30 seconds before your ready. That'll fix him. Make HIM work for it if he wants it.... (read in full...)
There are 8 of us living in a 3 bedroom house and it's driving me up the wall!
Q. dear cupid... i dont know what to do. i have a really bad home life and its driving me up the walls. my parents are divorced and my mum currently has a boyfriend who lives with us along with his four kids. but the problem is only one of them is o...
A. 4 October 2007: Hey girlie, I'm wondering how your doing. Did you ever try to get help? What has come of it? Are you in a better spot now or just dealing with more of the same.
I hope things are better for you. Being a mom myself, my heart goes out to you.
... (read in full...)
I cheated on my fiance with a guy we both use to work with
Q. I cheated on my fiance with a guy we both use to work with. My fiance and I are no longer together. I am no longer working with the guy I cheated with. My ex fiance is also no longer working there. I really like this other guy a lot. So my ...
A. 4 October 2007: I think you can persue him if that is who you really want but not right away, if for no other reason then to save face. You should take some time and show your new man you don't jump from guy to guy...not to act disinterested but you don't want to ... (read in full...)
We were together a long time and I am still grieving the loss of the relationship.
Q. I hope someone can help me here...a lot of good advice on this site. My boyfriend basically dumped me about a month ago..it was awful at first but it really is getting better. I have not seen him or spoken to him in that month but I will see him ...
A. 14 May 2007: Letting him see you sweat will only give him an ego boost he doesn't deserve! Seem indifferent if you can. Don't be rude. You can say hi but don't give him any attention either. If he wants to talk to you, he will approach you. ... (read in full...)
She's so talented and I'm a geek. Does she really want to be with me?
Q. Okay so, I met this girl online a few months ago (just to make it clear, I am a bisexual girl myself), we started emailing each other, we would write really long ones every day and talk about everything and anything. We sort of just connected. After ...
A. 14 May 2007: Its so funny how people define themselves and other people...It really doesn't matter what either of you do. Its all just a peacock display anyway, not the real person. It's what they want everyone to see. What is important is having compatible ... (read in full...)
Why do I always fall for people who are not interested in me?
Q. I am sixteen years old and I have never had a boyfriend. I am not delusional. I know that I am not extraordinarily pretty. And I know that not everyone you fall for will feel the same way towards you. But, seriously, for me it's a repetitiv...
A. 14 May 2007: How did your father treat you? Was he a source of love and acceptance or was he always judging you and critisizing? Was he interested in you? These are the things in your lives that usually shape our future relationships with men and ironically what ... (read in full...)
What can I do to get him to buy what we REALLY need for our home?
Q. My fiancee and I have been living together in our own place. Money has never been an issue but there are things we lack that we need in our place, and no matter how much I try to talk to him about it he just doesn't get it. Over the few months, ...
A. 14 May 2007: ALL men are like this. They have this need to buy 'toys'. My x went out and bought a muscle car after I had a baby at your age instead of home and family. Some men will never grow up. The best you can do is to find someone who buys toys that you ... (read in full...)
When we made out his leg started shaking
Q. When I was making out with this guy his leg started shaking is that a bad sign?...
A. 11 May 2007: Thats a very very good sign!... (read in full...)
I'm married to her but she has become moody and she's hard to love. I met someone else and I want more-what should I do?
Q. I've been married 9 months to someone who used to be lovely, but over recent months has become easily annoyed and moody, and very hard to love. just recently I met a girl who I get on really well with and we connected, but altho were good friends we ...
A. 11 May 2007: So your wife was once lovely, but now isn't. I don't think most guys understand what it takes for women to maintain themselves, then when they aren't able to, the men can't understand why when she did when she wasn't married. So instead of judging ... (read in full...)
Now that I've found someone new, my ex suddenly wants me back and cries every day because I'm not there...
Q. hi i was in a relationship of almost two years in a half i broke up with him because he would lie and hang out with girls and never answer my calls and never write back to my text and then all the sudden everything was my fault its been 8 months ...
A. 11 May 2007: Yep I agree. He's putting on a show until he gets what he wants, which is for you NOT to be happy. Then once he has you where he wants you...he will go back to the same behaviors you broke up to being with over.... (read in full...)
Can you tell me something to help get rid of the ugliness I feel I have?
Q. Hi. I need some help, your the only people i can turn to for an honest opinion really. 1) I'm Ugly. People tell me im not. My friends tell me im not, but i know full well I am Ugly. I have spots, i have spot cream, and my features just ar...
A. 10 May 2007: Are you a victum of mental or emotional abuse or does manic-depression run in your family? If what your saying is true the one with the distorted view must be you if everyone can see the beauty in you but you. You need to learn the art of self-love. ... (read in full...)
He says that we will marry and have children, but cant seem to believe him as he wasnt there for me!!
Q. I'm really confused about the way my boyfriend feels about me. He says he loves me, says he's going to marry, says we'll have children. He says all the right things, like i'm the most important thing to him and he just wants to see me happy. (h...
A. 9 May 2007: Don't wait until you need him again if your really in doubt. Make up something just to see what he does, like your car broke down or something. Do this a few times to see what his track record is going be. ... (read in full...)
I'm 13 and think I masterbate too much! How can I stop?
Q. Im 17 and like most guys, i masterbate. I started when i was 13 and have dun it at least once a day, sumtimes up to 4 times a day. All i can say is that i have lost all feeling for it and now i do it because i am either bored or just been watchi...
A. 8 May 2007: You are so normal its not even funny. As a matter of fact, the more you beat yourself up over it, the more you'll do it. Start penciling in routine wanks in your schedule, lol. Seriously. Your not hurting anyone or yourself. But what would be a ... (read in full...)
My confidence is really low and I'm a size 18 (UK), do guys really want a girl this size?
Q. I like this guy alot but my confidence is really low, I'm a size 18(uk) and im quite tall so its kinda spread out but do guys really want this especially when they're like 18? any thoughts? ...
A. 8 May 2007: Younger people are mostly superficial until they learn. Most younger guys don't like bigger girls so its kinda self-serving. You get to weed out the jerks without having to blink. You might want to consider older men who've been there are require ... (read in full...)
I'm not over my ex of 2 years ago and I keep comparing my new BFs to him! How do I stop this once and for all?
Q. i broke up with this guy a few years ago and he was my 1st proper bf. I still always think about him and the gr8 times we had together. Since then i'v never felt the same way about anyone even though i have had other bf's. it's really tough be...
A. 8 May 2007: What is it that your ex has that your new bf's dont? Is there a solid trait or is it mostly that your heart is still with him until you find someone elses heart to call home? Its normal to feel for the last person you were happy with when you can't ... (read in full...)
He told me things he doesn't love about my character and I just feel so much pressure to change myself!
Q. I have the feeling, I'm fighting for my boyfriends love all the time, but he can just sit there and be lucky, he is loved... Is this normal that a women has to do this? It was me doing the first step, asking him if he wants to be my boyfrien...
A. 8 May 2007: Ok baby, you really can't make anyone love you or change. They either do or they don't. I mean you can be what he wants you to be, but even that might not be enough. Then what? It will go back to the same situation.
If you walk away and show him... (read in full...)
I wanted to believe her that she was my perfect girl. Am I wrong to be stressed about her past?
Q. Ah well, here goes, lots to tell... I met a wonderful girl 2 and a half years ago, she was beautiful and sexy, and was interested in me, however, the months before we actualy got together people were telling me to stay away, and suggesting some ...
A. 8 May 2007: Society is funny like that. Men are allowed to exploit woman's emotional needs, then turn around and call them 'sluts' for falling for THEIR game.
She clearly has been abused and trying to hide her shame for being so vunerable. Now she has a di... (read in full...)
Is a 38DD bra size at 15 years old too big?
Q. i am 15 and a 38 DD is that normal. i think i'm to big for my age?? hElP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!...
A. 8 May 2007: Is anyone like this in your family? Next thing to consider is do you consume milk, eggs, chicken or beef with growth hormone? They will give you HUGE ta tas.
Are you a big girl? If so they just might be in porportion with your body.... (read in full...)
He told me things he doesn't love about my character and I just feel so much pressure to change myself!
Q. I have the feeling, I'm fighting for my boyfriends love all the time, but he can just sit there and be lucky, he is loved... Is this normal that a women has to do this? It was me doing the first step, asking him if he wants to be my boyfrien...
A. 7 May 2007: Ok, why would you be worrying about loosing someone that finds it challenging to be with you? It is unacceptable to work for someones love, ESPECIALLY if your female.
The ratio is this: A guy will not treat a woman well unless he feels she is o... (read in full...)
How can I win her back?
Q. I'm 19 and have an ex gf who i absolutely adore, the thing is, she's with another guy and treats me like crap. I can't stand it and i really need her back. I finished her but i didn't think of the consequences, how can i win her back?...
A. 7 May 2007: Wait, you want someone back that treats you like crap? I agree w. Eve!... (read in full...)
I'm ready to have a baby but to tell the truth I don't no if I am. What should I do?
Q. ok i have a couple ? i hope you can help with all of them! so me and my boyfriend have talked about haveing sex and having a baby even at our age. we've both had sex when we were younger!! we've also both talked about french kissing which ai...
A. 7 May 2007: If you can't support yourself, you are not ready to have a baby. If your that desperate to have a family then get a dog or something and share that with him. You have NO idea what your playing with and if you get pregnant, either way its damaging to ... (read in full...)
I really want her and I to go the next level...problem is-she has a long distance bf! What should I do?
Q. I've gotten to know this flat-out amazing woman for a few months. We've hung out and become pretty good friends. But from her body language and demeanor around me, it's clear to me that she wants what I want -- to be more than just friends. My p...
A. 7 May 2007: Yeah dude, you need to call her bluff. There is obviously something she gets 250 miles away that she hasn't given you the chance or feels that you can't give to her. Either way, for your own mental health you need to get it out and move on with or ... (read in full...)
I need help with trusting my husband even though I have no grounds for not trusting him!
Q. I have been married for 10 years to a wonderful guy, he is the father of our three kids, we started dating in high school over 13 years ago. Recently he told me that if i dont start trusting him he's going to leave. I agree with what he said about ...
A. 7 May 2007: You know, sometimes people need a little freedom...ESPECIALLY in a committed relationship. Just to go and do without having to take the extra to 'report' in. Sometimes I get so stressed that I need to do that from time to time. Maybe he is very ... (read in full...)
Out of your league?
Q. If one topic is bound to generate heat between me and one of my friends then it's the perennial question of 'leagues'. Quite simply she insists they exist and I insist they do not although in practice I still sometimes think in terms of them. We all ...
A. 7 May 2007: I think it is important in male-female relationships, that in a man's perspective, he should feel his woman is out of his league and doesn't deserve her to ensure he will treat her the way a woman should be treated. Think about it guys, have you ... (read in full...)
Putting your soul first
Q. Love, arguably the most widely discussed and pondered subject in all the world, seems to be the greatest mystery to us as humans. Love makes us feel alive. It makes us feel whole inside. It gives us purpose. It fuels our hopes and dreams. It ...
A. 6 May 2007: Watch when you get back into a committed relationship because the time you take for yourself can easily slip away due to chores, kids, job, social demands and any other expectations placed upon you. I used to be like you and your right, its WONDE... (read in full...)
Open relationships- Do they ever work??
Q. open relationships; many believe they are pointless as they believe if you want to have sex with someone else, then the person you are with is not the one for you. however, i recently read that about 1% of hetrosexual marriages have one person them ...
A. 6 May 2007: Having open relationships...I am 100% against it. That is what being SINGLE is for. And people who are willing to part-take I would be very wary of them. They are probably people with commitment issues, esteem issues...all people who 'operate' from ... (read in full...)
How can I tell if he's "Mr Right?"
Q. Beeing togehter with my boyfriend 2 years and 5 month, how can I find out, if he is Mr.Right or not?...
A. 6 May 2007: Does he put you first? Do you share common values? Do you both go the extra mile for each other? Do you feel secure and emotionally/mentally sound when your together? Has he talked about having any kind of future with you? Whats goin on there dear?... (read in full...)
I have been having trouble finding her physically attractive. She's not terribly overweight, but she does have a fair stomach to her.
Q. My girlfriend and I have been going out for over a year, and have been involved a fair bit longer, and I can quite see myself spending a good many years with her. Lately, however, I have been having trouble finding her physically attractive. She's ...
A. 3 May 2007: Over the past year I have grown a gut. I didn't start out with it. I started emotional eating when I noticed no matter how good I looked I just didn't get the response I was used to getting. Now its a matter of why bother when even when I did look ... (read in full...)
There are 8 of us living in a 3 bedroom house and it's driving me up the wall!
Q. dear cupid... i dont know what to do. i have a really bad home life and its driving me up the walls. my parents are divorced and my mum currently has a boyfriend who lives with us along with his four kids. but the problem is only one of them is o...
A. 2 May 2007: You are too young to be this responsible. She is taking advantage of you and its not fair to you or the younger kids who are left to be raised by another child. You have the right to go to the counselor at school and tell them everything. They are ... (read in full...)
I'm in love with two people...
Q. Help, I think that I'm in love with two people. I'm a 23 year old single mom. I first got involved with this 33 year old who now wants to marry me after a very abusive relationship with my child's father. He has a great job and everything going for ...
A. 2 May 2007: Yeah, as I said you would loose your freedom with him, but after reading this its obvious he wants total control. ... (read in full...)
Has anyone any advice on how I can improve my body?
Q. I am sixteen years old and am concerned with my body. I know that it is not right to be overly concerned with my body, but it would make me feel better about myself. Unfortunately i cant seem to get the body i want. Do not get me wrong, i and not ...
A. 2 May 2007: Your still filling out. Relax and just work what cha got. Wear those outfits us hour glass figured women would look like strapped hams in! ... (read in full...)
If you have sex before you start your peiod does it do any damage inside you?
Q. hi. i am just wondering if you have sex before you start your peiods does it do any damage inside you. i have posted this questions 4 times and it doesnt seem to come up. i really need to know. i am sexually active although i am 16 i havnt yet ...
A. 2 May 2007: When you get your next physical, bring it up to the doctor. Most women start getting their period at 11-13. Your very late. They might want to do some bloodwork on you to make sure your levels are within range. No permanent damage will be done ... (read in full...)
There are 8 of us living in a 3 bedroom house and it's driving me up the wall!
Q. dear cupid... i dont know what to do. i have a really bad home life and its driving me up the walls. my parents are divorced and my mum currently has a boyfriend who lives with us along with his four kids. but the problem is only one of them is o...
A. 2 May 2007: You gotta tell your mum in private. Yes, maybe there is somewhere you could go maybe to an aunts or friends house until things settle down. You are at a stage where you need lots of support and it seems mum is busy putting together a new family. ... (read in full...)
I feel like "we belong together" and like "he is MINE". I sound like a stalker!
Q. I'm 33 and I've started seeing a guy who I really like. We've only seen each other a few times but have known each other for almost 6 months. We click. The feelings I have for him I've never had for anybody else before, and I'm quite shocked that ...
A. 2 May 2007: I agree, do not tell him. Rather you should be observing and asking yourself does it feel like its mutaul, your feelings for him? If you have to guess, the answer is no. If there is a moment of hesitation after asking yourself that question, then ... (read in full...)
I'm in love with two people...
Q. Help, I think that I'm in love with two people. I'm a 23 year old single mom. I first got involved with this 33 year old who now wants to marry me after a very abusive relationship with my child's father. He has a great job and everything going for ...
A. 2 May 2007: Well it depends on how good the support you have is already. Is your living conditions adequate and so on for you and your child? If its not then its a no brainer to go w. the 33 yr old. However, with being 'taken care of' comes a price. You will ... (read in full...)
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