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I'm not over my ex of 2 years ago and I keep comparing my new BFs to him! How do I stop this once and for all?

Tagged as: Dating, The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (7 May 2007) 2 Answers - (Newest, 8 May 2007)
A female United Kingdom age 36-40, anonymous writes:

i broke up with this guy a few years ago and he was my 1st proper bf. I still always think about him and the gr8 times we had together.

Since then i'v never felt the same way about anyone even though i have had other bf's. it's really tough because i met these two guys who want to both go out with me, but i keep comparing them to my first boyfriend. they all look similar and dress the same and r really cute (just like my 1st bf) so my mates said i've not got over him. Even so i don't really know what i could do about it now because he broke up with me and now when i see him around i don't even have the courage to speak to him or look at him because i felt so let down by him when we broke up.

What should i do about him and the other two new guys?

One of them has recently divorced and he really opened up to me about everything and i feel there's a really good connection and spark between us, but i don't want to hurt him and let him down by always comparing him to my ex and acting like a real idiot towards him, because he really deserves better than that esp after his rough divorce and because he is everything i would normally want in a guy -caring, funny and romantic. so i don't want to let him slip by

View related questions: broke up, divorce, my ex, spark

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A male reader, forgonepath United States +, writes (8 May 2007):

I agree with NJmomabear..We compare because we can't find what we are looking for. Ask yourself, if you met someone you really liked and were really into, would you even have time to compare him to your ex? Most probably not since you'll spend most of your time fancying him and thinking about how happy he makes you. So just wait for the right guy, he's out there. And when he comes into your life, you won't be thinking about your ex.

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A female reader, NJmomabear United States +, writes (8 May 2007):

NJmomabear agony auntWhat is it that your ex has that your new bf's dont? Is there a solid trait or is it mostly that your heart is still with him until you find someone elses heart to call home? Its normal to feel for the last person you were happy with when you can't find what you want. Keep lookin until you find someone who can make you forget him...and oh..he's out there! Just be ready for him when you find each other. These other guys are probably great but if he ain't ringin your bell, game over.

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