A
female
age
30-35,
*xdepthxX
writes:dear cupid...i dont know what to do. i have a really bad home life and its driving me up the walls. my parents are divorced and my mum currently has a boyfriend who lives with us along with his four kids. but the problem is only one of them is over 10 and i have to share a bedroom with the youngest two who keep me up all night. so there are eight of us all together (me, my brother, my mum, my mum's boyfriend and his four kids) and we are all cramped into a three bedroom house. so basically the problem is that im always tired, i never get time to myself to do homework or revise etc and i can't stand much more of this. please help!
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female
reader, NJmomabear  +, writes (4 October 2007):
 Hey girlie, I'm wondering how your doing. Did you ever try to get help? What has come of it? Are you in a better spot now or just dealing with more of the same.
I hope things are better for you. Being a mom myself, my heart goes out to you.
Lisa
A
female
reader, NJmomabear +, writes (2 May 2007):
You are too young to be this responsible. She is taking advantage of you and its not fair to you or the younger kids who are left to be raised by another child. You have the right to go to the counselor at school and tell them everything. They are the only ones who might be able to help you. You only have one life, don't let your mum continue to put everything on you like this.
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A
female
reader, Enzian  +, writes (2 May 2007):
 Hi Dear
You bear at lot of responsibility - more than you should have to do at your age... You can not do all this on your own and you really need to have time to do your homework. You need a good education for a good job in the future and that you can stand on your own feet as soon as possible. So I really would recomend you that after school you go to a friends home or do your homework in a library or at school. For an houre ore two. You could also go a little earlier to school in the morning and do some work over lunch. You can not be the babysitter of your mother's boyfriend's children and also look after the house and your mother! You need time to do your homework and you need some quiet timer just for your selfe and you need enough and good sleep! Can't your mother's boyfriend employ a babysitter once or twice a week? They are his children and you are not his privat housemaid for free! You need to know that you have rights and nobody is allowed to treat you just as they want! You can not only look after others, you also need ot look for yourselfe! That maybe sounds egoistic, but if you don't look after yourselfe you increase the chance of getting mental-health problem.
What about your mothers boyfriend? What is he like? Can't you talk to him? Or are you scared of him?
If you can not talk to him and because you can not talk to your mother or any close relatives, I really would recomend you to talk to one of your teachers you can trust. You really should ask for some competent help and I'm sure a teacher can help you!
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A
female
reader, XxdepthxX +, writes (2 May 2007):
XxdepthxX is verified as being by the original poster of the question thanks guys and for those who want to no more about the situation and how your answers might help here it is. My mums a manic depressant and has been diagnosed suicidles 8 times. she has been like this all my life and one of the reasons my dad left her.
the other reason is that she had an affair with his best man/work college. i cant live with him (my dad) because he used to abuse me and he scares the hell out of me. the closest relatives i have are in london.
i spend all the time im not in school babysitting for my mum as shes always out and her bfs always at work. im a grade A student but the fact that i havnt got time time do my hwk is draging me down.
at tho mo my mum is majourly deppressed and most nite she comes in a bout 1 pissed out of her mind leaving me to put her to bed. i have to keep the pills locked up so she doesnt overdose. me and her used to be really close but now i just wish that i could live at my friends house or somin.
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A
female
reader, XxdepthxX +, writes (2 May 2007):
XxdepthxX is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks guys and for those who want to no more about the situation and how your answers might help here it is. My mums a manic depressant and has been diagnosed suicidles 8 times. she has been like this all my life and one of the reasons my dad left her.
the other reason is that she had an affair with his best man/work college. i cant live with him (my dad) because he used to abuse me and he scares the hell out of me. the closest relatives i have are in london.
i spend all the time im not in school babysitting for my mum as shes always out and her bfs always at work. im a grade A student but the fact that i havnt got time time do my hwk is draging me down.
at tho mo my mum is majourly deppressed and most nite she comes in a bout 1 pissed out of her mind leaving me to put her to bed. i have to keep the pills locked up so she doesnt overdose. me and her used to be really close but now i just wish that i could live at my friends house or somin.
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A
female
reader, NJmomabear +, writes (2 May 2007):
You gotta tell your mum in private. Yes, maybe there is somewhere you could go maybe to an aunts or friends house until things settle down. You are at a stage where you need lots of support and it seems mum is busy putting together a new family. Remind her of that too. Its ok to say it, just try not to get angry while your talking about it. She will just see it as defiance or selfishness if you do. Good luck baby gurl!
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A
female
reader, llusting4him  +, writes (1 May 2007):
hi i know what your talking about coming from a family of 9 who were shoved into a 3 bed house aswel it is so frustrating i think you should sit down wit ur mom & her boyfriend tell them you understand that you would realy like an hr or 2 to urself in ur room so u can do homework & study tell them u understand that the house is full but would really appreciate this and will help out wit chores in return as 4 the 2 kids there isnt much u cud do to quite them down try reading them a story in exchange 4 quiteness good luck
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A
female
reader, Enzian +, writes (1 May 2007):
hmmm... I really feel with you, but don't really know what advice to give to you... But you can not life with this for ever, that is for sure!
Have you ever tried to speak to your mother about this? Can you not talk to your mother? Does she not see your problem?
What about you father? Could you not life with him? Maybe this is not possible or he lifes to far away so that you could not go to your school. Any grandmother, aunt or uncle which lifes next to you and you could spend at least the weekend and have some peace time just for you? May be this is not possible or not a good idea... But for sure you need some space and quiet time just for you. You could visit friends after school. Maybe they will invite you for tea/dinner about once a week and you could do your homework together?
Have you got a living room? Is there a sofa in it? If you can not sleep at night, because they are to noisy, either you put them and their bedding on the sofa or you take your blanket and your cushion and you will spend the night on the sofa to have a quiet, but not very comfortable night. Maybe your mother and her boyfriend will then understand you better?
But all this is not the solution, not for a long time... So I would recomend that you talk to your mother first and try to explane your problem and that you need her help!
If she or any of your relatives and friends can not help you, you could speak with one of your teachers you can trust and ask him or her for some help. They know the rules and contact points of your country and they may know what to do. All the best!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 May 2007): Living in a house with lots of kids isn't exactly what I'd call a really bad home life, it's just not an ideal situation. Use home as a base and a place to sleep and do your homework or revision in libraries or school or friends houses. This is just a situation you have to get used to. Living with her boyfriend makes your mum happy and the fact that he has kids can be a blessing or a curse depending on how you let it affect you.
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