My wife is in contact with her first love and says she loves him. Do I just leave?
Q. My wife is still hung up on her first love. She has just had contact with him a little while ago. After that she has been crying and depressed. she says she still loves me, But she loves him too. They have not been together in 20 years. And were ...
A. 23 August 2008: I agree with marieclaire. Neither she nor he or the same anymore. It's like she's in love with an idea or a memory, not a person. What should be a concern is the way she's letting it play out. As in, why contact each other now? Who initiated ... (read in full...)
I hurt one of my friends badly, what do I do?
Q. My friend Hannah (not her real name) lost her Dad (he was 42) in a car accident and she been annoying me ever since it happen. One day Hannah wining about her Dad and I lost it (didnt mean to) and told her shes being obsessed with him and needs to ...
A. 21 July 2008: Agreed, apologize to her yourself. Also, try to be extra sweet to her and do whatever you can... people remember the way other people make them feel during hard times in their lives. She'll never forget what you said or how it made her feel, but ... (read in full...)
What should I do about this annoying, cheap, and obsessive kid?
Q. This kid in my class is a total bitch lets call him "joe". He thinks this girl who dosen't like him belongs to him and he won't let anyone talk to her, lets call her "jane". So jane and one of her friends were walking around town and decided ...
A. 20 July 2008: I think it's mean, but it's also been a month, so you all could just stop and let it go, and eventually he'll get over it. Apologize to him, tell him it just got out of hand or whatever. But if you really want to deal with him, you have to stop, ... (read in full...)
What do I do about the left over food I keep throwing in my neighbor's yard?
Q. i have a problem with throwing things in my neighbors yard...not actual litter, but things like hamburger rolls, half eaten peaches etc...i got in the habit of doing this in the beginning of the summer and now I'm afraid my neighbors are gonna get ...
A. 20 July 2008: Oh man... how is it that they haven't noticed? Do you know if it's all still there, or if they've cleaned it up but haven't said anything? ... (read in full...)
If he is too scared to propose to me, should I propose to him? What do you think?
Q. I've been with my partner for quite some time now and we're beginning to talk wedding and family wise. Thing is, I think he's too scared to propose to me. He's given himself so many opportunities, but then backs out and says something else. I wa...
A. 20 July 2008: Give it time. If he loves you and wants to be with you, he'll propose. Maybe he's scared of more than just asking. Maybe he's not sure if the time is right. If you ask him, you don't change the fact that he's still not ready. I agree with ... (read in full...)
What should I do about this annoying, cheap, and obsessive kid?
Q. This kid in my class is a total bitch lets call him "joe". He thinks this girl who dosen't like him belongs to him and he won't let anyone talk to her, lets call her "jane". So jane and one of her friends were walking around town and decided ...
A. 20 July 2008: What should you do about these girls who are using you to manipulate Joe? Especially since it sounds like Joe was your friend, at least a little bit, if he would have invited you to his party if it wasn't for these girls playing the two of you off ... (read in full...)
Is love enough to conquer all?
Q. Does Love conquer?? I thought I would ask for opinions on this. How long does anger, resentment and bitterness stay? Does it affect your relationship in the long-term? I am single/40 (never married), but was in a long term relationship (12+ ...
A. 20 July 2008: Counseling definitely seems in order. If you both really love each other and really want it to work, it's absolutely possible for love to conquer-- but it sounds like right now, his insecurities are conquering, and it's leading him to treat you ... (read in full...)
This girl wants me to come over, is that slutty?
Q. I just recently started talking to this girl, we havnt hung out yet but she has already asked me to come over to her house, is that somewhat of a slutty thing to do? I really would like her to be my GF but it seems shes looking just for sex. Btw im ...
A. 2 June 2008: She probably just likes you, and isn't being shy about it. Some girls are more straightforward than others. Maybe she wants you to be her boyfriend AND she wants to have wild and crazy sex with you. Rare, I know, but it happens.... (read in full...)
His ex told me they'd kissed, and now I don't know what to do with him!
Q. hey guys so i been together with this guy for about 2 too 3 months now. Two weeks ago he hung out with his ex girlfreind for the first time , he was with his freinds also but still. i asked him if they hookedup he said no . I left the situation ...
A. 2 June 2008: If I were you, I wouldn't worry about "getting her in trouble." She DID kiss your boyfriend, remember? And what's the worst that could happen to her? Your boyfriend has no right to be mad at her, or you. He was the one who did something wrong. ... (read in full...)
My body is hungry for sex! It's been a year!! Please help me!!
Q. Hi. I haven't had sex for a year now, as of this week. It's quite a depressing anniversary, and one that I have tried to keep off my mind, but haven't been able to. I really feel like I need sex again now, for the good of my manhood. I have made out ...
A. 29 May 2008: I'm in a similar situation (8 months). I'm still looking for a solution, but I've come to realize that lowering one's standards helps. I refuse to go that route, so I'm probably screwed (as in NOT getting screwed, ha). However, there... (read in full...)
I have a friend that takes things as her own ideas/opinions.
Q. I started drawing and was in this art class and she was admiring my drawings. Soon after she started painting. I was not angry at this because I felt that it was something we could enjoy together. Soon after we started painting on the walls in ...
A. 29 May 2008: I've had friends like that, but since I've gotten older, I've cut off those friendships and learned to recognize and avoid red flags in potential new friendships. Your friend lacks personality and is using you to make herself more interesting. ... (read in full...)
Just found out that my bf has collected photos of women's breasts sent by email!
Q. I just discovered that my boyfriend has collected photos of womens breasts sent to him by email. He met these women online and made the requests personally. I also viewed some messages that he printed and kept, telling a few of the women that he had ...
A. 29 May 2008: Or boyfriend, rather.... (read in full...)
Just found out that my bf has collected photos of women's breasts sent by email!
Q. I just discovered that my boyfriend has collected photos of womens breasts sent to him by email. He met these women online and made the requests personally. I also viewed some messages that he printed and kept, telling a few of the women that he had ...
A. 29 May 2008: Ask your husband about it. He will be happy to teach you.... (read in full...)
My parents want to bribe me not to go out with him... what can I do?
Q. So my boyfriend who i been on and off with for 3 years now is really special to me. The only thing is my parents just dont approve. When we break up they are so happy an when we are together again they get so angry at me an dont talk to me for a few ...
A. 22 May 2008: I'm also concerned as to why your parents don't like him. Parents don't typically take such a strong dislike to their children's friends or boyfriends/girlfriends unless they perceive that person to be harmful to their child or disrespectful or ... (read in full...)
I don't have a bf and also don't have much privacy to self-explore-advice?
Q. Okay, I have a couple questions. I'm 12 and in 6th grade, and I don't have a boyfriend, and I'm not sure who my real friends are. since I go to a small school, if one person hates me, they spread a rumor, and everyone hates me...That's kind of how ...
A. 21 May 2008: You could talk to your mom, but without letting her know the whole truth. I'm not sure what you're asking or what you hope to get out of this. You can easily buy a back massager, which works well as a vibrator. I don't recommend letting your mom ... (read in full...)
I made some mistakes which made him break up with me, and now he's been mean and very hurtful
Q. How can I hate someone who clearly doesn't love me anymore? I made some mistakes which made him break up with me, and now he's been mean and very hurtful, often disregarding my hurt when he says ulgy things or calls me names. It all was beca...
A. 21 May 2008: My ex did was also very cruel when he broke up with me, but I kept calling him, and accepting his calls, hoping that once it was all out of his system, he would realize that he still really loved me. He never did-- it only got worse, and still, ... (read in full...)
Tell me everything I need to know (and already know) about married men who cheat?
Q. I'm married too...He's nearly 20 years older than me. We've been attracted to each other for months after we met professionally, but I didn't think it was anything more than flirting. I perceived him as someone who had set limits for himself and ...
A. 21 May 2008: He cares only for his own pleasure. He doesn't care if he hurts his wife, and he certainly won't care if and when he hurts you.... (read in full...)
We've been dating three years yet his ex is still living in his house!
Q. I've been dating this man for almost 3 months now. His ex is still living in his house. He says she won't leave, she pays no rent, no bills, yet has a decent job. They have no kids together. He keeps saying she will be leaving soon, but the ...
A. 21 May 2008: This sounds like one of those rare situations when an ultimatum would be acceptable. She has no kids, and has a job and can support herself, and while it's fine to still live together for comfort and friendship after they're broken up, now that ... (read in full...)
Did my calling him have any effect on him? Does he like me?
Q. My crush send me a message that he's going deployed next thursday to Asia. So, I called him on the phone to wish him good luck. He was very surprised mainly cuz he's stationed in NC and I'm in Fla. so we keep contact by email. In his message ...
A. 21 May 2008: Sounds friendly on his end. He was surprised when you called him, but if he liked you, wouldn't he have called you? At the very least, his first reaction would have been "glad you called" vs. "surprised you called." Everything else sounds ... (read in full...)
Every time we pass a girl he has slept with he makes disturbing comments - should I take it as a sign of his own insecurities? Should I be worried?
Q. I am going to be a sophomore in college, and i am currently dating a guy who is going to be a senior. Although our relationship is pretty new, i can honestly see myself with him for a really long time, if not forever. Things are going great, but ...
A. 21 May 2008: Ditto- he doesn't respect you. And his reason for continuing to make comments is that it "gets a reaction" out of you?! So you tell him that something bothers you, and he continues to do it not despite the fact that it bothers you but BECAUSE it ... (read in full...)
Slept with another girl but still in love with my ex. Any way I can get the ex to trust me and to love me again?
Q. I have a big problem. I broke up with my girlfriend whilst in switzerland in February this year while we were travelling together. We've been broken up for three months now, but still see eachother regularly and still love eachother... Until thi...
A. 21 May 2008: You two were broken up. From the sounds of it, you weren't together and though you still loved each other, you weren't trying to work things out. Sleeping with other people is one way of getting over someone you care about, and if that's what it ... (read in full...)
Lost my virginity, freaking out a bit!
Q. Help! i lost my virginity to a guy i had been going out with for a month. a week after we had an arguement because he never bothered using any protection and ending up splitting up. last week i saw him, and ending up kissing him and te...
A. 18 May 2008: I agree. Also, it can be difficult to enjoy yourself if you're concerned because he isn't using protection. So if he tries saying it feels "better," or he feels "closer" to you, or anything that adds up to him enjoying it more without a condom, ... (read in full...)
7 months after the break-up I still want him back!
Q. I was in a 5 month relationship last year which was going really well. We talked loads about our future together. My boyfriend looked at possible building sites to build a house for us in the future! But then he changed jobs and went back to ...
A. 17 May 2008: I'm currently in a similar situation with my ex.. went out for two years and have been broken up for almost six months, said horrible things to each other, and now I'm trying to pursue a friendship with him. He seems okay with being friends, but ... (read in full...)
Help! I need somebody!- Do you think he's sending signals or not???
Q. (this is a combination of several of my replies to other users before I had my own account....now it's a question) I've known my english teacher for 2 years, last year when we would talk in passing and then this year when he was finally my teach...
A. 13 May 2008: It sounds like he favors you more than his other students, probably because he's a family friend and he might think you are a special or above average student. I don't think he's sending any signals. You have a crush and you're interpreting his ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend of nearly 3 years left me and wont even talk to me about it, please help
Q. my boyfriend of nearlly three years left me and wont even talk to me about it. I made a list of reasons why i shouldnt be with him, but i cant help but cry all day and call him constantly begging him to be with me, i love him so much and this is ...
A. 12 May 2008: Yikes. Just keep referring to the list, girl. You can and will do better. Say a prayer thanking God that he's gone and that you don't have any kids by him. It's hard when you first break up, but it will get easier. Don't call or write him, ... (read in full...)
I think I may have been date raped by my boss.
Q. I think I was date-raped. I ran in to my boss in a bar after I had already been drinking, and he offered to get me a drink. I asked for a vodka orange, but he asked me if I would prefer vodka redbull, and got me that instead. After that drink, I...
A. 12 May 2008: Also consider going to your company's Human Resources department. In most companies, supervisors are not allowed to have relations with their employees. Your boss could and should be terminated because of this.
You should immediately get in c... (read in full...)
He told me the all the other girls he's had sex with, even with out a condom, never got pregnant
Q. Ok...so i'm 15 and my boyfriend is 14, we've known each other and been with each other for a long time...and my boyfriend isn't a virgin. He says he lost it when he was young and has had sex with other girls ever sence...but he wants to have sex ...
A. 12 May 2008: You should get on birth control pills first, and make sure you take the pill at the same time every day, and don't miss days. Don't listen to guys when they try to tell you about how they've had unprotected sex before and never got a girl pregnant. ... (read in full...)
My practical driving test is tomorrow and I can't find my theory test certificate? Please help!!
Q. Please help me!!! My practical driving test is tomorrow and i cannot find my theory test certificate? I dont know what to do? Can anybody please please help me?...
A. 12 May 2008: Have you looked under your bed? Just kidding. Call the office tomorrow. Maybe they can issue you another one, or you can reschedule your test.... (read in full...)
Which of the four should I choose?
Q. Okay so this boy loves me, well says he loves me, and he's also my ex. This other boy says he misses me and stuff, which is another ex, and this other kid always says he loves me but we're really close and we hangout alot, and then there's this ...
A. 12 May 2008: Date them all casually, just be honest with them and let them all know that you're seeing other people, and they are free to see other people as well. Then once you get to them better, you'll be much clearer on which is right for you. You also ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's friend wont give us any time to be alone!!
Q. Ok well my boyfriend's friend is always around us and he always pushes me out of everything just to be with my boyfriend. He also spends to much time with him when i would love to spend time with my boyfriend. Like a week ago i was talking to my bo...
A. 12 May 2008: If you and your boyfriend already were making plans to hang out, and his friend swooped in and made plans over them, your boyfriend was wrong to go with his friends. This isn't about choosing his girlfriend over his friends. It's common courtesy ... (read in full...)
Is he supposed to call if he's casually dating others? Do I call him?
Q. We talked a lot while eating and we were quieter during the movie. We got to see each other after more than one month so it was a little bit strange first but then we warmed up. After four hours together, we had to say good bye but while he was on ...
A. 11 May 2008: It's not so much that he is "supposed to" call or not. If he wants to talk to you, he will call you. If you want to talk to him, you can certainly call him, but be aware that you are pursuing him, and that he will probably give you excuses why he ... (read in full...)
He isn't shy in e-mails, but totally shy in real-life. Why? How can I get him to loosen up?
Q. My boyfriend is really mushy in emails and stuff, but not so much in real life. What should I do to get him to stop being so shy?...
A. 11 May 2008: Maybe as he grows more comfortable with you, he will be less shy. Look on the bright side: at least he has this one way of expressing how he feels for you. Some people find it hard to be mushy under any circumstances.... (read in full...)
Just out of curiousity, what does this dream mean? My teacher is involved.
Q. Recently I've had this dream about a teacher of mine...Who I have strong feelings for. Before you say anything, I am NOT like other girls. I'm doing the right thing by actually trying to get over him. Why? Because I know if that if we had gotten ...
A. 11 May 2008: It sounds like wish fulfillment. You can't be with him in real life, but in your dreams, the two of you can kiss. It also reiterates the fact that the both of you know that you can't be together, since this reality intruded even in your dream. ... (read in full...)
Will having sex with this woman make me stop yearning for her, alleviate this sexual frustration so I can focus on my marriage?...
Q. I'm getting concerned about my sexual feelings for my wife, as I've been strongly attracted to a very attractive and wholesome woman at work, and I came to learn she feels the same as me, and she is also married. There has been no sex between us a...
A. 11 May 2008: Sleeping with her once won't solve the problem, because the root of the problem is not that you're attracted to a woman at work; the root of the problem is at home, with your marriage. For whatever reason, there is something missing in your current ... (read in full...)
The two brothers have feelings for me and I don't know what to do since I have feelings for both of them as well...
Q. I'm having a really difficult time I've been knowing these two guys for a while now and they are brothers well I've always had a crush on them both one is 16 and very mature and the other is 20 also mature I'm 21 and I talk to the 16 year old more ...
A. 11 May 2008: I know this might not be the advice you want to hear, but it might be best to not date either. Just because you're dating one, it won't make the feelings you have for the other one go away, nor will it make his feelings for you go away. In fact, ... (read in full...)
I used her, and I regret it! What now?
Q. My uncle always told me "Think With The Right Head". Today I didn't. Ok so its been a long time since ive been close to a girl and i miss that feeling. and then today me and my friend were hanging out. I originally planned to give her something but ...
A. 11 May 2008: Well, the fact that you realize what you did was wrong and that you feel bad about it indicates that you're a good guy who maybe just got caught up in the moment. People learn by making mistakes. It could have been worse.. it could have been a lot ... (read in full...)
Do I tell the affair partner's fiancee about his affair with my ex?
Q. My ex-fiancee cheated on me with one of her male friends for several months. We broke up because she continued to keep in touch with him behind my back even when we were "fixing" the relationship. So this question is more a moral dilemma... The ...
A. 17 February 2008: I say tell her what you know. She deserves to hear it.... (read in full...)
Why the change of heart once I actually buy the ring?
Q. I have been dating my girlfriend for 13 years and we just bought a house 8 months ago. She has been asking me about getting married for the past year and getting excited till she found out I bought a ring then I woke up one morning and she threw me ...
A. 7 February 2008: You've been with each other for 13 years; don't call it quits after only a week!! She probably really does just need space to work out whatever is going on with her right now. I can't even begin to tell you what it's all about, though. Women are ... (read in full...)
Why do guys ask for our numbers and then not call?
Q. Why do guys ask for our numbers and then not call? I am alone in a new city and am definitly open to meeting people. I get approached all the time. Someone even pulled me over to talk to me and get my number when I was driving to work, totally ...
A. 5 February 2008: Yeah, it's an ego-booster for the guys. I've heard stories of guys who have girlfriends who hit on girls and get their numbers, just to prove to themselves that they still can. If you're getting a lot of that attention, you're probably putting of ... (read in full...)
Can anyone possibly help me with that "married man dilemma"?
Q. Can anyone possibly help me with that "married man dilemma"? First, I am very aware of the sentiments of most of the advisers here, so let me say right off the bat that I have always agreed on the point but I am in such deep distress right now that ...
A. 5 February 2008: "Love is NOT a feeling. It's something we do!"
Thank you for that Annie. I agree wholeheartedly.... (read in full...)
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