A
male
age
41-50,
*azz123
writes:I have been dating my girlfriend for 13 years and we just bought a house 8 months ago. She has been asking me about getting married for the past year and getting excited till she found out I bought a ring then I woke up one morning and she threw me out and said she needed space but to leave my stuff there. Then she said I was drinking too much and if I could stop, all would work out so I stopped and she said I need to know that it's for you she said. After this she said she fell out of love 2 years ago so needs time to think if she wants to be with me but leave my things at the house.Well I kept calling her and made her mad and she said it's over, it won't work but said I could leave my things there. I have ignored her for a week now and now her sister texted me to see how I am. What is all of this about? Should I move on? I love this girl so much. What is the best advice? Is she just confused?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 February 2008): This situation doesn't make sense. I think perhaps she met another man and this is her way out? But yes, get your stuff out of there, don't leave it to her. And start working on what you are going to do about the house. If you just bought it 8 months ago, you could always give it to her, But if you put any of your money down on the house, you'll have to work on getting that part back. Can she afford the payment alone? If not, that's what she gets for being a bit*h. I say don't wait for her. She's obviously up to something as this is NOT normal behavior. Tell her you're over it, and go get your stuff. Leave her to her screwy ways to mess with someone else's head. Maybe she'll come crawling back if she sees you are the one leaving her!
A
female
reader, shelleyanne +, writes (7 February 2008):
 Here's my girl perspective on this whole situation.
On my birthday this year I was convinced my boyfriend was going to propose to me (he didn't). The second I heard this I had the most unnatural urge to run in the opposite direction. I was scared.
My guess is that even as long as the two of you have been together, the idea of honest-to-goodness commitment scares her. Perhaps she really has been questioning things for two years now. I would give her time. Hopefully she'll come around. Right now, she is obviously feeling very confused and indecisive, hence the reason she told you to leave your things. If this continues for too much longer though it might be better for you to just break ties. You don't deserve to be strung along.
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A
female
reader, Lily Moll +, writes (7 February 2008):
You've been with each other for 13 years; don't call it quits after only a week!! She probably really does just need space to work out whatever is going on with her right now. I can't even begin to tell you what it's all about, though. Women are strange creatures. A lot of us have issues about marriage, even when we're with someone we love more than anything. She asked you to leave your stuff, though, so that's a good sign. Give her time, try dropping her a short email or even a letter every now and then, just something saying you love her and miss her and are giving her the space she needs. Be sure to include an invitation to contact you anytime. Just let her know you're thinking about her, but don't crowd her. In time, her feelings will clear up, and she'll probably at least be able to explain things to you. Hope this helps.
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (7 February 2008):
 I'd get your things out of there. If you're both on the house, begin immediately on the sale of it, or transfering title. I know you love her and want to be with her, but you don't want to screw yourself by waiting.
What state do you live in? I'll check for you to see if there are other laws pertaining to separating in your state. Such as mine, if you present yourself as husband and wife, after one night, then common law marriage comes to play.
Now calling too often will upset her. When someone says they need space, calling them says "I don't respect your space."
Other than that, I don't know what to tell you. I got confused just reading it. It really doesn't make sense. Why would she bug you about marriage one year after she fell out of love? This is a strange situation.
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