A
female
age
30-35,
*ebbecarevenge
writes:Help!i lost my virginity to a guy i had been going out with for a month. a week after we had an arguement because he never bothered using any protection and ending up splitting up. last week i saw him, and ending up kissing him and telling him i love him even tho he has hurt mewhat should i do should i go back out with him or should i go find another guy and carry on with my life
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 May 2008): I think that it's great that you had the courage to finish with this guy because he wouldn't use protection. You love and respect yourself and you love and respect your body. That's a good sign. I also think that you should take a break from dating anyone. I know you like your ex, but he needs to realise how important this is to you. You don't want to get pregnant or catch some disease.
Anyway, forget about your ex for a moment, forget about any man. Spend time with your friends, send time on your hobbies and your school work. If you ex wants you he knows where to find you, he knows you like him and he knows what you don't like (sex without protection) Stop chasing him and he'll probably come back. If not you'll be to bothered to notice, and eventually some new guy will chase after you, and give you everything you need in your relationship. You did good. I'm very proud.... Good luck
A
female
reader, Lily Moll  +, writes (18 May 2008):
I agree. Also, it can be difficult to enjoy yourself if you're concerned because he isn't using protection. So if he tries saying it feels "better," or he feels "closer" to you, or anything that adds up to him enjoying it more without a condom, tell him that you would be more comfortable and therefore enjoy it more if he wore a condom. And if he still refuses (some guys even say they can't stay hard with a condom because they never wear one, and I think the fact that a guy has never worn a condom with ANYONE is scary, and that alone is a reason for him to either wear one with you or get tested) then it's time for you to move on. There are a lot of other guys out there who would be happy to be with you, and would drive for an hour to buy condoms just so they could sleep with you.. believe me, guys have done it for me. Some guys are just so happy to have the chance to be with you (or get laid) that they'll do just about anything to make sure you're comfortable and enjoy it. Then there are selfish guys who won't do anything for you except stick it in. I'd say carry on. You two broke up because you had an argument because he refused to wear protection, and now you're telling him you love him, and are thinking of being with him again. I can't even believe he would argue with you about his refusal to use protection. If you were that concerned about it a week later, he should have been COMFORTING you, not ARGUING. A caring boyfriend would have talked you through it and would have worked on some sort of agreement for the future.. either condoms for him, or female condoms, or birth control, or at least pulling out for god's sake. He wouldn't have argued and broke up with you. It's the same as him having a hissy fit and telling you that if he can't have what he wants, the way he wants it, with no backtalk from you, then he doesn't want anything to do with you. If he can't see that he was wrong and work things out with you, respect yourself enough to move on.
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A
female
reader, lexilou +, writes (18 May 2008):
 If you really want to give it a go then tell him has to have respect for you and that includes using protection. It is your responsibility too and shouldnt have let him the first time without a condom. Most young lads and some grown men too I might add will try and get away without using anything so dont let yourself be so easily persuaded in the future. Dont be surpised if he's not that bothered but he may surprise you and admit it was wrong and you can move on from this x x
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