A
female
age
30-35,
*eautiful_Nightmare92
writes:Ok...so i'm 15 and my boyfriend is 14, we've known each other and been with each other for a long time...and my boyfriend isn't a virgin. He says he lost it when he was young and has had sex with other girls ever sence...but he wants to have sex with me.I kinda do..but im afraid to...im just afraid of the concequences. I told him what if something bad happens what if i get pregnant! He told me the all the other girls that he's had sex with even with out a condom...Never got pregnant!I'm just worried...'cause if something bad does happen...my family will really hate me, treat me different, like they did my sister when she got preganant at 15 or so...and i'm just not sure anymore...I know your supposed to lose your virginity to the person you love and care about, but i do really really Love and Care about him!Also i'm not sure if im a virgin or not because my sister was raped in the same bed as i was in...and i dont know if i am.Help!!
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female
reader, Cherubic +, writes (30 May 2008):
Of course you can still get pregnant he doesn't possess any sort of magic that makes his sperm incapable of impregnating people. The fact that he told you that other girls didn't get pregnant is irrelevant, and he also told you he didn't use a condom which is highly dangerous because he could now have contracted diseases. The best advice is to not have sex with him. Your young, live life a little and don't worry about these issues.
A
female
reader, Aeval  +, writes (13 May 2008):
 Sweetheart,
You are far too young in the head to be contemplating this.
You actually thought you were not a virgin because your sister was raped in the same bed????
Go and speak to an adult. If your sister got in so much trouble for getting pregnant then why are you about to run the same risks?
Yes you can get pregnant, you boyfriend is either very very lucky or is lying to you. He sounds very young and silly. Sex is not something to be taken lightly.
I was very very very lucky. I had sex for the first time just before I turned 19 to a wonderful BF. It was an experiance that I treasure. Unlike so many women I was not pressured and it was the right time for me. Natrually we broke up in time yet remained good friends.
Please do not feel like you have to do this, if he leaves then good on him. You should never feel pressured to do anything that you dont want to do!
Best of luck
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A
male
reader, uncle_baj  +, writes (12 May 2008):
 it jumps out to me that your very inexperienced,firstly if this guy was anygood for u he wouldnt respect the fact that ur not ready,and who to say hes not gonna leave u like he did the other girls?it sounds to me like this guy is lying,u shouldnt ever have sex without a condom,especially with a young lad who thinks hes the business sleeping around,these are ppl u should be staying away,and u think u love him but i very much doubt u do,u just think you do,u will know when u meet someone u love,your just growing up so its normal to think like this,and my advice to u i wait,if u wereready to give yourself aay you wouldnt be on here askin question,i honesstly think u will regret sleeping with him if u do,and above all neither of u are above the legal age and it is a serious offence,just save yourself for someone who will respect you for wanting to wait,this guy only wants sex off u and unfortunately u will meet many more whilst growing up,the man who waits for u to be ready is the one you should get to know more,hope this helps x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2008): Honey, to be quite honest, he sounds big headed and immature. He's telling you all these girls he's had sex with, and he's only 14? He actually thinks he's some sort of anti-pregnancy drug? Is he a complete idiot!?!?!
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (12 May 2008):
 Do not be too trusting of others and accept what they say as the Gospel truth.
Always be critical of what other's tell you .
For you alone will be responsible for your own mistakes.
Be smart.
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A
female
reader, Ms.Advice girl +, writes (12 May 2008):
Hey girl I know what you're going through I went through that not to long ago I'm 15 too but when this happenend I was 11 or 12 I thought I was going to lose him if I didn't do it I was going out with this 15year old guy and he was the first guy I went out with and the first guy I had sex with but,I thought I knew everything but,I was wrong he told exactly what your guy told you that no other girls got pregnant even without a condom it was all bullshit but,I did it and I got a bad reputation around my neighborhood,my family,friends,my boyfriends parents everyone including teachers at school they were saying kids were saying that I had sex with a 15year old that I was a slut that I was a whore,lil'bitch and that I was brought up to be a little bitch who couldnt wait till marriage so I could be pure to my husband and I got pregnant it's not easy being a young pregnant preteen and not and having everyone go against you and as for the guy he left me and said he just wanted to get into to my pants and now that he did he was happy cuz it was another notch on his belt kinda of like a game the baskets you make the more points you get well I was his point his friends that it was cool cuz he got another girl to give into him but,I was the one who thought he cared and thought he really did love but,it was just some strategie to get into my pants I had a miscarriage and I was still branded a bitch but,what could I do when you give into a guy you're trust that you had with your family is hard to get back they wont trust to leave you home or let you go out anywhere and its alot of consequences that difficult to erase once their already done till this day it still haunts me I have a lil'trust with my parents but not as much as I had before my advice to you is not to have sex with that guy you're with trust me its better safe than sorry once you do it you'll regret not waiting till you've gotten married but,for now don't give in to him I call those kinda guys Virginity hunters they like to hunt for girls who are still virgins then once they get what they want they flee from you to another I know you wouldn't want to be a bitch or slut or even have no friends or parents who don't believe you or trust you or give you theses faces like shes a whore nothing like that I hope you do what's best for you!!!!
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A
female
reader, BigSis +, writes (12 May 2008):
 Lily Moll...You forgot the seventh reason...he could well have been lying.
Beautiful Nightmare, you've been given some sound advice here, 'If in doubt do nowt' as Twirly says and RCN has made his point clear too. PeterPan's right, why WOULD you consider taking the same risk your sister did, and ruin the rest of your life.
Think very hard before you decide.
Take care and be good ~ and if you can't be good ... be extremely careful.
BigSis
xXx
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A
female
reader, pashanoodle +, writes (12 May 2008):
 NEVER assume - you should take responsibility for yourself - so if you do decide to sleep with this guy YOU should take steps to ensure you don;t end up pregnant. Talk to your GP - get all your options re contraception...and ask your BF to wear a condom too (in case of STD's).
15 may seem very grown up - but when it comes to some things it's not...alot of people would argue that you are not emotionally ready for a sexual relationship at the age of 14/15....so think about why you want to have sex - is it just to please your BF? Is it about being "cool"? It shouldn't be - it should be because you want to for you...you will know when it feels right,so if you're having doubts now I think you may not be ready!
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A
female
reader, Isabella1974  +, writes (12 May 2008):
 Hi there, first of all darling, do not every feel presurised into doing something you dont want to, even if you have a little doubt, you are very young, so have loads of time for sex in a few years and to do it with someone who loves and respects you and will not pressurise you into having sex.
You are right to be worried, because you can get pregnant even the 1st time, every girl is different. Sorry but I am not sure if i believe what your boyfriend is saying about sleeping with other girls, even if it was true and the other girls did not get pregnant, then they were very lucky. He said he didnt wear a condom, he is also runing the risk of passing on STD (sexual transmitted diseases).
Sorry to hear about your sister, i hope she received the help and support that she needed.
Please look after yourself and never feel you have to do something you dont want.
If you would like to talk further, please email me.
Take care sweety XX
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2008): Your boyfriend is very immature, and has no risk if you end up getting pregnant. He isn't looking out for you, and in a way, is using you. Dump him, he isn't worthy of your love.
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A
female
reader, Lily Moll +, writes (12 May 2008):
You should get on birth control pills first, and make sure you take the pill at the same time every day, and don't miss days. Don't listen to guys when they try to tell you about how they've had unprotected sex before and never got a girl pregnant. There are all kinds of reasons why this happens, the first and most likely being that the girl wasn't ovulating at the time. The second is that maybe she was on the pill. The third is that, depending on the age of the girls, maybe they hadn't had their periods yet. The fourth is that maybe he pulled out in time-- no guarantee that he'll pull out in time every time, though. Fifth is that the girls might not be able to get pregnant for whatever reason. Sixth is that he might not be able to get girls pregnant-- BUT I've heard sooo many guys say that they don't think they can have kids, and let me tell you, it's garbage. A lot of guys say this, and it's complete garbage. Unless he's been to a doctor and the doctor told him he can't have kids, he's just guessing, and the reason he's telling you this is that it feels better without a condom, and it feels better if he doesn't have to pull out.
A quick story... my ex told me he didn't think he could have kids. He was much older than your boyfriend.. my ex was 31, and he had been with 70 girls. He told me had never used condoms with any of them, and that he had never gotten any of them pregnant, so he didn't think he could have kids. So we had sex without condoms and without pulling out, and after a few months, I got pregnant. WELL, since he was sooo convinced that he couldn't have kids, he accused me of cheating on him, and said the baby wasn't his, and that he wasn't going to raise a kid that wasn't his, and he made me get an abortion. It hurt so much to have to go through it alone, and to have my boyfriend convinced that I had cheated on him, so that he wouldn't even be by my side.
This has happened to a number of my friends, so be prepared that if you do pregnant, the first words out of a guy's mouth are often, "It's not mine," especially if he thinks he can't have kids. If your boyfriend loves you, then he'll do whatever it takes to make sure you're comfortable when you have sex. If you're worried about getting pregnant, then you can't truly enjoy the experience. If you can't get on birth control, he should wear a condom every time.
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A
female
reader, Twirly +, writes (12 May 2008):
 There's a really good saying which goes 'if in doubt, do nowt'.
It doesn't sound at all like you're ready for sex with this boy Sweetie, why don't you wait.
If he doesn't use condoms and hasn't got anyone pregnant yet he has been very lucky or the girls he has slept with have been on the pill.
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (12 May 2008):
 I'm going to help you in a different way. Don't do it. I'll tell you why. This individual seems as if he may be one of the young players in the making. Tell you what you want to hear until they get what they want, then move on to the next. They're also called cherry poppers. They seek out and go for ending virginity.
Now as far as getting girls pregnant. Could he just be lucky? Girls have an ovulation period. The time which they could get pregnant. He might just be simply missing that time with who he's been with.
I really don't think I would trust what he tells you. I can tell you, being older. We had guys like this when I was your age too. I know many women who would of made a different choice, if they knew then what they do now.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2008): hi im a 17 year old irish boy!this boy is dirt get rid off him!he clearly just wants sex and is not prepared to deal with the consequences of pregnancy or sti's!get rid of this creep and dont be pressured into sex.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2008): If you have never had sex you're a virgin.
Don't believe your boyfriend. Having sex without a condom, at any age, even if it's your first time or you're in your period, results in a big risk of pregnancy.
Always wear a condom, unless you're on the pill and he's been checked for STIs and is CLEAN. Otherwise, condom, always.
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A
male
reader, PeterPan +, writes (12 May 2008):
 Considering that your sister caught hell for getting pregnant so young, why are you even considering risking the same thing? The other thing is no matter what, if you aren't interested if having a baby of your own, have sex with a condom - plain and simple. If he's not willing, then neither are you! It sounds like his other sexual encounters got lucky. There's no reason for you to take the same risk if you don't want to.
I don't understand the question on your own virginity or not. It seems that you would know if somebody touched you inappropriately or not... unless I misunderstood the statement.
Best wishes!! I hope this was some help...
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