A
female
age
41-50,
*utofmymind
writes:I have been in a relationship for almost 3 years now and married for about a year. My two daughter's and I moved in with him and his son 2 years ago. I have raised his son like my own. I have tried to be a good mom to him because his mother died when he was eight. He has stayed with me during the summers and I am there for him before and after school. I would wake up at 3:30 make coffee and my husbands lunch. Then starting getting myself and all the kids ready. Taking them to school where I also work. When school was out I would have to pick up his son who went to another school, get them snack, help with homework, do my online classes, then start dinner so it was ready by 5:30 or 6:00 when he got home. He recently smacked me over an arrgument we had that had to do with his son. I left and ended up signing a year lease on an apartment. He has not called me since I have been here and was more than eager to help me pack and move me in. Now he closed our joint account. Before he would be calling me all the time. I am hurting so bad, I can't stop letting my emotions get the best of me. What should I do?
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female
reader, lildeesbg +, writes (20 January 2007):
 Take a step back and look at what you just wrote. To me it seems that you are doing everything! Most importantly you are being a mother to his son! He needs to appreciate that. I dont know what the fight was about, but for him to raise his hand to you after all you do is 100% wrong. People fight and disagree which is normal, but to actually physically hurt you, something isnt right! You know it wasnt right, that is why you signed a lease to another apartment.
Its hard to be apart from someone you love and have a history with, especially when they arent showing how much they miss you and need you. But ask yourself this...do you feel you were appreciated for all you were doing? Do you want to be hit again? Can you see him hitting you again? and why was he actually helping you move?
You have to remember you have kids involved in this as well. What would your daughter do and feel if they saw there mother getting hit? or have bruises? Though you love him, love yourself and your daughter and move on.
Everytime your emotions are making you miss him or want to call him, think about the bigger picture your self worth, your daughters and how much that slap hurt. Next time it might not be a slap.
A
female
reader, cd206  +, writes (19 January 2007):
 Although I don't think you should have got so involved in an argument about his son, any form of physical violence is TOTALLY UNACCEPTABLE whatever the motive behind it. He hasn't got in contact with you since you left showing that he's not interested in where you are or what you're doing. Don't waste your emotions on someone like that.
CD
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