A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: Hi,I am in a relationship at the moment and have been for the past 5 years. For the past year or so things haven't been great and my partner has felt very distant and unapproachable. We don't talk as much as we used to and we keep having rows over money - we both earn good salaries and it isn't really a problem. We have a non-existant love life and just don't seem to be getting along as well as we used to. I've tried talking but it hasn't worked. I've met another girl who is really nice and friendly but doesn't know I'm in a relationship. We have no children but do have a house together with joint mortgage. I'm not going to leave one for the other but meeting this new girl has made me realise how bad everything has got. I'm at a loss what to do. Help!!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, cd206 +, writes (18 January 2007):
You're being incredibly mature by seeing this girl for what she is- a wake up call that everything is not rosy in your relationship rather than as a potential affair. Talk to your partner. Tell her you're feeling things are slipping away from you both. Maybe it's something you can work on together or maybe you need some marriage guidance (non married people can attend too) It seems to me you should do whatever you can to save your relationship before admitting defeat. You never know, all might work out fine!
CD
A
female
reader, Jovial +, writes (18 January 2007):
hi there
i think what u need to do now is slow down a bit with the new girl the reason is when things are bad in a relationship we usually find an escape route and if it seem more viable than the current environment we are living in obviously we will want to escape all the misery, unfortunately the confusion stay with us.
so please talk to your old partner tell her your intentions and how u feel about the way things are going, tell her why u think the new flame seem viable if this realisation u had can help u keep ur old flame burning then do that, if after talking staying is not an option then u can leave you are happy evrybody is happy, but i dont know if the new flame will be happy about the deception, anyway u can sort that out when u get there. hope this helps
jovial
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