A
male
age
30-35,
*teve169
writes:I've been in a relationship with my girlfriend for a little over a year now, but over the past month she's been becoming more and more moody, getting very depressed saying she wants a baby.I'm only 17 and we're both going to uni next year, and I don't know if I could handle a child on top of everything, I just don't see myself as mature and competent enough to deal with it. Yet she's becoming more and more depressed and is never happy with anything i do to try and cheer her up. She maintains she will never be happy unless i let her have a kid now!I'm just looking for opinions of people who have been through anything similar; am I not commited enough? or am I justified wanting to wait?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2008): listen with a baby itll change everything but it wont make you to happier a baby is a 24 hour job at with uni coming up what are you going to do with no sleep nappy changing every 3 hours feeding every 3 hours i mean she will be more unhappy. dont let her push you into it you are very sensible in saying your not ready im 18 i gave birth to my baby 3 months ago i had to quit uni and get a job i lost my life dont be stupid wait until you finish uni good luck
A
female
reader, Astrid  +, writes (18 January 2007):
 I don't hink u should have a bay when you're only 17, u must be economically supportive and a good example for children, u must study or get a technician grade so u can mantain a house, babies are expensive and u will only be 17 once u should enjoy and go to college, maybe she is not the right girl honey
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A
female
reader, AngelofLove +, writes (18 January 2007):
 Do you want a baby? If the answer is no, then to have a baby just to cheer somebody up is not a good reason.
You are very young, not ready for this commitment even though you are being more mature about this than your girlfriend is.
She needs support and help on how to overcome her depression but having a kid is not the answer.
A baby is not some object you buy in a shop because you think you may like. Once you have one, there is no going back!
Follow your instints, and stand your ground. Emotional blackmail is what she is doing even if she does not realize it yet. Your girlfriend needs to do some growning up herself before even dreaming about bring a kid up.
Good luck
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A
female
reader, cd206 +, writes (18 January 2007):
 When you're depressed you think having a baby will solve everything. After all a baby gives you unconditional love and she obviously doesn't feel like she gets that from anyone else (No offence intended- depressed people tend to push away the people closest to them) She needs reassurance. Tell her you love her and can't wait to have babies with her but that you want your kids to have the best possible start in life and you think you'll be able to provide that after uni better than now. In the meantime tell her you've noticed she hasn't been happy recently and is there anything you can do to help. She might just need someone to listen to her or she might need professional help but forget the baby. It's a nice thought but it won't fix anything, it'll just make everything ten times worse.
CD
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A
male
reader, Ponungalungb  +, writes (18 January 2007):
 I agree with Dr. Pete. ARE YOU CRAZY!!!!
Your girlfriend sounds like she may be suffering from depression. Babies and mothers with depression don't mix. She needs professional help. If you want to help her, see that she gets it.
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A
male
reader, b3njo12dan +, writes (18 January 2007):
she probably things ull go to university and meet sum1 else! and by having a baby with u might hold u back and keep you commited to her, im nt saying u wont be, but thats probably what she thinks! also think about the costs! omg im goin 2 uni and i cant afford that alone neva mind paying for a kid on top of that.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2007): Are you crazy? Of course a baby isn't going to cure your girlfriend, if any thing, it'll make her worse. Your girlfriend obviously has some emotional issues that need to be addressing. If she were really interested in going to University next year the last thing on her mind would be having a baby. It sounds like you two want two very, very different things.
You're not even an adult yourself yet, you're a teenager. Look forward to going to university and growing up with people your own age and who have the same responsiblities in life, don't allow someone to be pressuring you in to signing up for a life that you don't seemingly want.
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