Is it strange when a man doesn't have a picture of you in his office at work?
Q. I've been engaged for a couple of years. My fiance is a department head and he works with all women and very few men. The girl he dated before, he had a picture of them together on his office desk and word love was on the picture frame. ...
A. 14 February 2014: He does have your picture in his office -- it's just on his computer instead of in a frame on his desk. I wouldn't worry about it.
At least he doesn't still have a picture of his ex there!... (read in full...)
Junior in college and I hate my major. Do I call it quits and change it?
Q. I’m a university student majoring in business management, and I unfortunately hate my major. I was a performing arts major during my first year of college. I chose it because I didn’t know what else to choose, but I realized it wasn’t for me. I...
A. 17 May 2013: Finish your degree with your current major, and try to find a job in that field after graduation for a year or two. By then, teaching jobs may be easier to find in your area. If you are willing to move, you might be able to find a teaching job rig... (read in full...)
We had a fight and I haven't heard from him since
Q. Dear Cupid Its been a week since my bf ( or ex) called me. We had a fight a week back when he unloaded his frustation on me and called me names. Usually when he verbally abuses i wont fight back, this time i couldnt take it, so fought back. Sin...
A. 9 May 2013: It's so heart-wrenching to read your questions ("Did I do something wrong?") when *he* was the jerk. I know this is hard, but if he was verbally abusive, breaking up is the best thing for you.
He wanted to control you. Once you stood up for your... (read in full...)
My head says the break up is the right thing, my heart is telling me no
Q. Basically, me and my boyfriend have just split up from a 2 year relationship, one of which has been long- distance as I am at university. I am 19 and he is 20. We're both absolutely devastated as we both still love each other and were also best f...
A. 29 April 2013: Yes, it's normal to feel conflicted after breaking up with someone you care about. But when your head and your heart are telling you different things, you should follow your head.
You will find someone else who will love you deeply, who will be ... (read in full...)
He left, and I am desperate to know what to do
Q. So, for the past few months my husband and I have been having alot of problems. He has become very angry, to the point of verbal abuse and in his mind I am his enemy and at least every week he would blow up at me for some thing or another. Really ...
A. 21 March 2013: OP, if he will not get counseling to change his behavior, then you are much better off without him! I'm sorry if that sounds harsh. But, living with a man who is verbally abusive, throws or breaks things, and generally has anger management issues is ... (read in full...)
Is it me or him? I am sick of begging for sex. How can he be 23 and have such a low sex drive?
Q. I’m older than him. He is 23 and I am older. So if you are the kind of person who doesn’t understand the older woman, younger man relationship doesn't respond I’m looking for help and information. Not “advice” that’s not going to help me, at a...
A. 18 March 2013: As other aunts have suggested,it could be a medical problem. Otherwise, if he feels no desire at all, he could be asexual. Unfortunately, if that's the case you'll have to decide whether to stay with him for other reasons, or to break up because of ... (read in full...)
I'm 16. Is it wrong for me to have unprotected sex, already had a miscarriage and want to get pregnant?
Q. ok so heres the deal...me and my bf have been dating for almost a year now...we stated having sex 5 months after we began dating...but we NEVER used condom...we are 2 highschool students and he is to graduate this year...i have suffered a miscarrage ...
A. 4 February 2013: Thanks for the extra information, it does help to know that you're already supporting yourself. However ... dealing with an infant can be really hard. Rewarding, yes, but difficult at times. And having children limits what you can do, or makes... (read in full...)
I went 'no contact' and he found somebody else!
Q. ok cutting a long story short as possible!!..the guy who i was chasing and then i decided to go no contact with..i recently heard from his 'friends' that he had met somebody else and that he was serious about her!!..(bearing in mind that he told me ...
A. 6 January 2013: When a man says that he's not ready for a relationship/marriage/etc. he means that he's not ready for one "with you". I know that's painful to hear. Your best option now is to forget him and move on.... (read in full...)
Should I stay with a violent husband for the sake of the children?
Q. My husband has violent outbursts about 3 -4 times a year. Something small will usually set him off, but everyone in the family knows to run for cover. I have three children (8,11,13) who have witnessed him exploding in a rage. The last time it ...
A. 12 November 2012: What Sageoldguy said. Your children learn about what adult relationships are like from watching you. Boys will think it's acceptable to throw their wives against the wall with little provocation, and girls will learn hat they should expect violent ... (read in full...)
I hate being a genius!
Q. I'm a gifted kid, but not what most gifted kids are. I'm different from other gifted kids like as an example. you would have to meet 1000 people to meet someone similar to me. Chances are they also wont be the same age as me too. Anyhow I hat...
A. 12 November 2012: Somehow I missed your followup until today.
Middle school is a tough time, and it's often when G&T kids begin to realize that they're different from others around them. I know this isn't much help now, but it will get better in high school o... (read in full...)
I hate being a genius!
Q. I'm a gifted kid, but not what most gifted kids are. I'm different from other gifted kids like as an example. you would have to meet 1000 people to meet someone similar to me. Chances are they also wont be the same age as me too. Anyhow I hat...
A. 5 November 2012: YouWish has some excellent advice, and I strongly recommend that you follow it. You will live and work with ordinary folks your whole life, and now is the time to learn how to relate to us.
(Also, as several Aunts have pointed out, you will nee... (read in full...)
Should I Reconcile With My Emotionally Abusive EX?
Q. I really need advice as I've backed myself into a corner. I recently broke up with my boyfriend after I realized he'd been emotionally abusing me, lying to me, cheated (via email and asking for a girls number at a bar) and one time pushing me ...
A. 4 July 2012: The emotionally abusive side of your ex is how he really is; the "nice guy" is just a mask he's wearing to get you back. Once you give in, the mask will come off and you'll see him for what he really is.
Stay away from him! Find a lawyer to be yo... (read in full...)
Who did my wife really lose her virginity to? Her old boyfriend or me?
Q. my wife and I have been married for 2 years now, and have been together for 4 years total. When we met we were both virgins and lost our virginity to each other. At least that is what I have always thought as she told me she was a virgin. Recently I ...
A. 4 July 2012: I love Cerberus's analogy!
Virginity is as much a psychological concept as it is physical. Your girlfriend's first time was with you.... (read in full...)
Single mom struggling at minimum wage ...
Q. Hi, I no this is usually advice for relationships. But my problem is money troubles, an I thought in this climate I can't be the only 1. I'd also like to thank you for reading this... Let me start by giving you a brief summary of my life. I a...
A. 5 March 2012: I've been in your shoes and I remember all too well how tough it is. I spent a lot of nights lying awake and worrying about how to pay the electric bill, put food on the table and buy my kids new shoes all at the same time (and it seemed that they ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend doesn't want to put on facebook that he is in a relationship
Q. okay my boyfriend and i have both have a facebook he use to not have problem with putting that he is in a relationship with me now he don't want to he just wants to keep it as single. i have begged him to change it cause ill feel more comfortable ...
A. 3 March 2012: So your bf has pictures of you &/or of the two of you together on Facebook, and he posts "I love you" on your wall? He's acknowledging your relationship publicly, so how is he hiding you? If all your friends know you're dating anyway, then what's ... (read in full...)
I feel worthless as a wife because I can't offer him more!
Q. Before I dated my husband I use to date only woman . But there was something about him that caught my eye and my heart. I started dating him and I got in a serious relationship with him and we marry. Things between us was good and we were even ...
A. 3 March 2012: As far as your feelings go, only you can decide whether you love your husband enough to ignore your attraction to other women. If you're really a lesbian, rather than bisexual, then divorce might be the best option so you can be yourself. If y... (read in full...)
I want children, just not right now! B/f wants me to forget about education and have them right away
Q. Hi everyone :)...... Just asking for some outside perspectives for the confusing mess iv got going on in my head right now! My partner is 35, I'm 22. He wants kids. Soon. I'm about to graduate in about 15 months. So he wants to start trying so...
A. 29 February 2012: "Before I'd always think girls in these kind of relationships were crazy, but now I realise that it's hard to realise what's going on until after you've been drawn in!" Yes, OP, this is why abusers keep finding other victims. They can be so charmi... (read in full...)
He didn't give me any reason for breakup...
Q. Dear cupid My bf broke up with me yesterday. We had our share of ups and downs. I wanted to make the relationship work, but he doesn't want to. He did'nt give me any reason for breakup, he just said that he doesn't want to see my face or h...
A. 16 February 2012: First, I'm really sorry that this happened to you.
He sounds superficial and immature, if you've gained a few pounds and suddenly he thinks you're not good enough for him.
I know this is hard, but don't contact him. Block his number on your p... (read in full...)
Is he just insecure....or possessive and controlling?
Q. okay my relationship is so complicated. i have been with my boyfriend for a little over 3 years and i have noticed some things like i cant go hang out with friends, i have to be very carful whom i talk to other wise he accuses me of cheating on him ...
A. 20 December 2011: He's not only possessive and controlling, he's also emotionally/verbally abusing you. Plus, he undoubtedly has anger management issues, if you're so afraid of crossing him that you're not comfortable even talking to family.
Be aware that men who ... (read in full...)
I feel trapped within my marriage..
Q. when we were living together , he acted generous, he paid whenever we went out to eat, but now that we're married and have a baby, he's been bickering with me that I should be the one working while he stays at home and watch the baby; he said women ...
A. 10 December 2011: Your husband's threats about custody of your baby are just another way to try to control you. In the US it's very unusual for a father to have sole custody of children after divorce, unless the mother is a drug addict or alcoholic, is mentally ill ... (read in full...)
Do emotionally abusive people really love you, but need professional help, or do they not love you ?
Q. Do people who are emotionally abusive really love you, but need proffessional help, or do they not really love you ?. I need to get out of a relationship with my emotionally abusive boyfriend, but i'm finding it hard to let go. Can anyone help ?. ...
A. 18 November 2011: As others have said, abusive people are damaged. Some of them do love you in some fashion, and some are only with you to meet their own needs. Without knowing your boyfriend, it's impossible to say whether he truly loves you or not. Whether he does ... (read in full...)
Just found out I am 4 months pregnant--and I had no symptoms! Is this unusual??
Q. So, simple question to all the couples/moms out there. My boyfriend and I just found out I am near four months along, I had NO idea, just 2 random positive pg tests! So my question to you all, has this ever happened? An undetected pregnancy, or a ...
A. 25 May 2011: I have 2 children, and both pregnancies were totally different. With my first, I had incredible nausea starting around the time I missed my first period, breast tenderness that started around my 3rd month, and every other "minor inconvenience of ... (read in full...)
Concerned about girlfriend
Q. Okay so my girlfriend and i have a great relationship, we are intimate, get along well and love each other a lot. But the last few days she doesnt seem herself. Our 2 familes kind of had it out over the phone because she came to my house to get ...
A. 16 March 2011: Your girlfriend clearly has a lot on her mind. Volunteering can be very therapeutic for someone in her situation--it can refocus her attention and give her a breather from whatever anxiety, etc. she's feeling. Maybe while she's doing volunteer work ... (read in full...)
When we fight boyfriend says really mean things. Does he mean them?
Q. I feel so silly writing this but here goes...I've been seeing this guy for just over a year now. To be honest I've never been completely sure about him as he seems to have some issues, but I do care A LOT about him and he does make me happy, most of ...
A. 16 March 2011: People do say things they don't mean during arguments, but most of us don't say the most hurtful things we can think of over and over. Whether he means them or not, do you really want to stay with someone who is so hurtful? He is being emotionall... (read in full...)
Should I attempt to persue my college prof as I'm unsure how interested he may be? Any thoughts welcome please?
Q. I have feelings for my college professor. I am uncertain as to whether or not he has feelings for me. I have just a couple of weeks left until I finish college and will no longer be under his supervision. I'm hoping that I can see him over the ...
A. 16 March 2011: Many (most?) US colleges now have rules against professor-student relationships, and professors can lose their jobs if they break those rules. So it sounds to me as if your professor truly is interested in you. It's possible that he didn't feel your... (read in full...)
How am I supposed to feel that he doesn't spare a thought for my feelings?
Q. my boyfriend said he is going to put his studies and career on top of me. And he would leave me if he has to study abroad. How am I supposed to feel that he doesn't spare a thought for my feelings? We've been together for 19 months. He spends l...
A. 21 February 2011: You deserve someone loving, who values you, cares about making you happy, and appreciates the things you do to make him happy. Yet, he will not change; he will always be "unromantic" & accuse you of being demanding when you ask him to meet your ... (read in full...)
Husband claims he's not gay so why is he spending so much time with this man?
Q. Is my husband gay? I have always been suspicious of his sexuality.he has really strange sex request only enjoys annal(on him) or oral sex(on him) Immediately loses erection when we have vaginal sex.Being the good wife and trying to be open minde...
A. 21 February 2011: If he's been borrowing money against your house, talk to a lawyer asap to find out what your legal rights are regarding his financial irresponsibility. Depending on the laws in your state, there should be something that you can do to preserve your ... (read in full...)
Should I be honest or keep my mouth shut?
Q. I have had the same primary for years and he is well like by and respected by all through out the entire hospital. Over the past several months I have had to see him more due to some recent medical problems. I am in my early fifties married with ...
A. 5 February 2011: Your doctor is acting very inappropriately with you. Don't say anything, put your relationship back on a professional footing, and concentrate on improving your relationship with your husband. ... (read in full...)
Is it normal for men to pull away when their wives need comfort?
Q. I have been feeling down a little these days due to family issues. I would think my husband would be a little more comforting but instead he is getting more distant. Is that normal for him to distant himself or is it me just in need of extra ...
A. 4 February 2011: Generally speaking, men seem to want to be able to jump in and fix things. When there's nothing concrete that they can do, they will sometimes withdraw.
Talk to your husband and give him some suggestions for something concrete he can do to make ... (read in full...)
How can I have safe sex without the use of birth control and condoms?
Q. how can I have safe sex without the use of birth control? My boyfriend doesn't like to use condoms and I trust him to pull out but sometimes I'm afraid. I would like to be on birth control but I can't be prescribed because I'm on chemotherapy pil...
A. 2 January 2011: While you are taking chemotherapy pills pregnancy can be very dangerous (to your health and/or the baby's). If he cares about you at all he will not want to subject you to that. He needs to use a condom, and if you can use a non-hormonal method of ... (read in full...)
What would you guys do in a no win situation like mine?
Q. Hey. Just after some advice. Do you think hiding things is ever ok? My boyfriend is a very jealous, posessive and sometimes paranoid person. From past experiences with him I now go put of my way to avoid confrontation and accusations from him. ...
A. 1 January 2011: Huge, huge red flag! This is a classic pattern of abusive relationships...your boyfriend is trying to isolate you from other people. Looks like he's making headway, too, if you're trying to avoid normal social interactions with others just to ... (read in full...)
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