A
female
age
30-35,
*_Mae93
writes:okay my boyfriend and i have both have a facebook he use to not have problem with putting that he is in a relationship with me now he don't want to he just wants to keep it as single. i have begged him to change it cause ill feel more comfortable but he want he said its just facebook and when people know your dating someone its drama.. what should i do? since im not comfortable with him saying he is single when he isnt? all his friends know we are dating. but i can't deal with him wanting to keep single on his facebook. i have asked him over and over why he wont change it he says its just facebook who cares the only thing that should matter is that we are together and happy, i told him that he must be hiding me and he was like how am i hiding you when u take you out in public with me, you put i love you on my facebook. and you have pictures on your facebook.. what should i do should i let this go?
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2012): I don't put my relationship status up on facebook AT ALL I leave it blank!
Firstly because the only two people whos business it is you & who ever your partner is!!
And Secondly I don't want people knowing EVERY SINGLE TINY detail of my life!!
I however would find it a bit suspect if he wanted to leave it as single when he is not single...false advertising!!
A
female
reader, PerhapsNot +, writes (3 March 2012):
 Isn't it funny that he is trying to avoid "drama" with the entire FB relationship status, yet he is causing drama with you? Let's look at this objectively for moment. His whole argument is that FB is pointless and that it will cause drama.1. How does the relationship status cause drama first and foremost? How? Who would have a problem if he put up that he is in a relationship? And above all, why would he care if someone had an issue with him being in a relationship? If he wants to keep his relationship a private matter, why is he not doing the logical thing and keeping it blank? 2. There is already drama over it, right? If his whole purpose is to keep it drama free then he has failed, has he not? You're upset about. You argue about it. Isn't that drama that he claims he does not want? I would think that drama with you should be more important than "drama" with anyone else.If it's just FB, if he really thought the relationship status is totally pointless, don't you think he would just change it to make you happy? Don't you think he would say: "hey, she has been nagging me and it's really making her angry and unhappy, so I'm going to do this little thing for her." Instead he is keeping it as single.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (3 March 2012):
 I"m with Cindy to some extent.
I have a Facebook account. my fiance does not. We got engaged on Wednesday and I changed my status (mind you I am 52 years old not a kid) and by the time I got up in the morning 50 people had liked it and most had commented on it. I was SHOCKED at how many folks NOTICED.
My son updates his facebook status when he gets a new girlfriend that's usually how I find out about his relationship changes.
That being said... I do think that some of facebook is a joke but if a person is ACTIVE on it then their relationship status should reflect the truth.
There is even an option to select "it's complicated with..." and then the partner is listed if they are on facebook...
It may be that he really thinks facebook is a joke... but as for causing drama... only if he allows it....
the more I think about it, the MORE I agree with Cindy.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (3 March 2012):
 I don't even have a Facebook account , so probably I am not entirely qualified to answer , but common sense is common sense in and ot of Facebook, so this sounds fishy to me.
How would telling the truth " bring drama " ? In which sense ? What is it exactly that he fears ? Have him clarify that to you.
If you are 6 ' , you are 6' . If you live in New York, you live in New York. If you are not single, you are not single.
These are facts. Not dramas.
Unless... unless you want people to think that you are actually 6'2, or that you live in LA,.. or that you are single and available.
One might object that maybe he just does not want the whole world to know his business- I can relate to that, and that's precisely the reason why I don't have an FB account.
But... he does. So, what gives ?
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A
female
reader, Auntie5 +, writes (3 March 2012):
So your bf has pictures of you &/or of the two of you together on Facebook, and he posts "I love you" on your wall? He's acknowledging your relationship publicly, so how is he hiding you? If all your friends know you're dating anyway, then what's the big deal?
I agree that relationship status adds unnecessary drama when you are dating someone. (A married person who doesn't have "married" as their relationship status is a different story.) For the record, I've been with my boyfriend for 4 years and both of us leave our relationship status blank ... not because we're "hiding" but because everyone who needs to know, already does.
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A
male
reader, Ldu  +, writes (3 March 2012):
yes let it go . Change your status to single or better yet just leave it blank . And have him change it to nothing so that way none can see if your single divorced in a relationship or its complicated . Facebook does cause a lot of drama .
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A
female
reader, Rozet +, writes (3 March 2012):
 Awwww your boyfriend doesn't sound very considerate...( I honestly want to tell you to push your feelings onto him and make him realize you will feel much more relaxed if he does put his status on dating, and if he asks "How would you feel relaxed?" reply by saying "why can't you do this little favor for me... its just facebook, who cares I get that, so why can't you do my tiny request" )
I want to tell you to do that but Im worried that if you do he will get furious and tell you that facebook statues's dont matter and that it seems like all you care about is showing the whole world your dating instead of being happy with him. So yes I do think you should drop it. If you don't I can tell he's very stubborn so fighting will occur and possibly him thinking about breaking up.
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