A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I no this is usually advice for relationships. But my problem is money troubles, an I thought in this climate I can't be the only 1. I'd also like to thank you for reading this...Let me start by giving you a brief summary of my life. I am nearly 24 an I have a 6 yr old son. His dad provides no finacial support. An he also only see's my son twice a month which is his choice. He also doesn't work so CSA would be pointless. I have always worked an in november I started a new job, the day i started they cut 1 of my days, and all the promises of great commision turned out to be empty. I am on minimum wage, an i do claim tax credits and housing benefits. They have recently cut my benefits an I am literally struggling to even pay for food. I come from a very loving an supportive family unfortunately they are not in a position to help me finachially. I feel so depressed having to scrimp an scrape for the most basic of things. I feel like my life is passing me by an i am losing my friends as i cannot afford to go out an socialise with them. My son is always asking for things an my answer is constantly no we don't have any money. I am only 23 an I have literally no life other then working an being home. I want to go on holidays an enjoy my life with my son. I feel like I am in a black hole that I will never get out of. Everyone else my age seems to be in a much better position then me in life an I feel like such a failure. My confidence is at an all time low, an I am even considering quitting my job an going on the social as I'm pretty sure I'd be better off, but I dont want to do that as I want to be a good role model for my son. I have even appealed to benefits office an they say I earn to much money!! I just dont see any way out of this. Any advice or even words of encouragement would be gratly appreciated.
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2012): Been there, I had 2 children and worked my socks off but never seemed to get anywhere, and kids need more the older they get. I did work from home too as a 2nd job, which helped.
My sister never worked,just claimed benefits,she had a much better lifestyle. Lovely home,social life. Kids didnt go without. She had no structure to her days though for years, ended up on wine and the kids went to live with their dad
You just have to accept it as it is, if there are no more benefits to claim then look at ways you can cut back.You should get CSA to stop money off your ex, £5 is better than nothing,they usually do it automatiacally if he's the named dad and unemployed.
See if you can get a 2nd job or find 'work from home', or maybe look at being a childminder,moneys good and you already have a child safe home.Maybe look at doing a college course,getting new qualifications so you can get a better job eventually?
A
female
reader, Auntie5  +, writes (5 March 2012):
I've been in your shoes and I remember all too well how tough it is. I spent a lot of nights lying awake and worrying about how to pay the electric bill, put food on the table and buy my kids new shoes all at the same time (and it seemed that they both always needed new shoes the same week!). I juggled the bills as best I could, and we ate lots of beans, rice, and cheap cuts of meat. Combination meals like spaghetti with meat sauce or chili let you stretch the meat out further but still provide nutritious food. At Christmas time, we'd make arts and crafts gifts for family members, or we'd go to the dollar store. I bought a membership at a local museum. The membership fee was a stretch for me to pay all at once, but it allowed us to visit for free. It paid for itself after 4 visits, and we'd go there 6 or 8 times a year. The local public library had a lot of free programs, and I took advantage of as many of them as I could. Plus, we'd go there every week to check out books. You can't beat free!We didn't take vacations, except to visit family. It's still my biggest regret as a parent that I couldn't take my kids to visit other places when they were growing up.Eventually I started earning more, and life wasn't as hard. The good part of all this: now that they are grown, my children understand the value of money. They've both told me that they didn't feel deprived as children, and now they are grateful that I didn't indulge their every wish. They are not spoiled, and they don't take others for granted. So hang in there! Hopefully this will be temporary and you won't have to struggle forever. Just love your son; do the best you can as a parent; read to him daily to stretch his imagination; and try to take some time for yourself every day, whether it's a walk on your lunch break or a bubble bath after your son goes to bed. By doing the best you can with what you have, you're setting a great example for your son. That's what being a parent is all about! He will grow up with good, solid values because of your example. Remind yourself of that whenever you're feeling low. Best wishes!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2012): claiming soical (income support) on the grounds of being a lone single parent is only applicable until your child turns 7 years old. Check www.direct.gov. After that i assume its job seekers allowence you'll be entitled to.You say you are struggling to get the basics e.g food etc.All i can recommend is seriously cutting back if in such hardship. Gets pay as you go gas/electric, cut off phone, remove tv so no tv liesence to pay, unplug anything that is not being used so as not to waste power. Buy cheap. Ermmmmm, consider getting a house mate or even moving back in with family. Talk to ex about support child even if only 5 pounds, CSA would even be willing to go after him even for such a small amount. Go to charity shops. Swap clothes with friends. Could even try getting another job, cleaners always wanted and are flexible.All the advice may not be suitable but i was putting myself in your place of not having enough money and what i would do to make myself finacially better off even if only by a little. One less bill to pay is one less bill to pay.I know its difficult missing out on going on with friends and holidays but it won't be like this forever .... you are only 24, the sitation will improve with time. Just doesn't seem the end is in sight at times. Just keep trucking a long.good luck x
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